The battle with boredom is a continuous one that requires more energy than staving off hunger. Every time your heart beats you are either strategizing against boredom or executing your plan. People are always looking for “something to do.” An entire life lived can often be predicated by the goal of not to be bored.
“Don’t you get bored?” is a question someone with ample time will get from people who hate being at their jobs. As if killing your boredom with misery is so much better. It’s the equivalent of cutting yourself to cope with emotional pain.
Lately, I have been in the mindset of embracing boredom. Sure, I can battle boredom with the army of technology available but it is a very short-term cure with no true benefit. Boredom is the portal that transports you to a new world. There will be a stage of suffering from fighting habitual urges and comfort but if you can weather the storm I believe there is something better on the other side.
Boredom is a tool to push evolution. If you are bored it means what you are doing feels next to useless. It’s neither enjoyable or beneficial to you so your mind is telling you to stop and move on. If you don’t listen then you will be bored to death.
I could spend 40 hours a week at an uninspiring job, watch TV shows for hours in a day, hang out with people for the sake of not being as bored, but it would be just a continuance on a dependence that only serves as a distraction.
Boredom is trying to prevent you from doing nothing like how fear prevents you from doing something. Together they mix a cocktail that will get you by another day like you have been doing so well at but nothing more.
Absence makes the heart fonder just as pain turns the absence of pain into pleasure. Joy for many people is not about pleasure but instead the glimpses of relief from the pain in their life. I’m glad it’s over becomes the daily mantra for life which extends to the dying breath.
Pleasure can become muted out by the pain that spills over when you momentarily punch out. Reaching heaven is difficult when the gravity of pain is always pulling you back down to hell.
The great escape is only great while it’s an escape. When the pain is absent long enough to fade into the past, it’s common to voluntarily revisit it because any stimulation seems that it would be better than none. There’s more people living on the inside than out.
A relatively pain-free life can lack stimulation. When you’re floating on calm waters you can choose to dive down back to darkness or wait until the forces push you down. The other choice is to try and climb a wave.
The upward movement in mood is what we’re all seeking. When you’re drowning beneath the surface all that you wish for is to float. When you’re flatlining long enough you need a wave to bring you up.
Someone caring about you is one thing and how much they care about you is another. Whether they do or not, and how much is a matter of belief. Perhaps there are people who care about me but more importantly to me is what does their caring do for me. When you’re not #1 in anyone’s life then you might as well be tied for 10th place with 5 other people. This is why people go to great lengths to have a partner in their life because in our culture the unwritten rule and assumption is that you will be each other’s #1.
To care about someone is just as vital to one’s existence but the feeling has to be believed to be mutual. Sometimes we may find ourselves in denial so that we can continue the train of caring. Once it stops there’s no steam and nowhere to go. Having only yourself to care about takes you only so far.
Feeling important is almost the same as people caring about you. If no one cares about you then it means you’re not important. If you’re not important then it feels that you have no reason to live. The further we move away from dependence with humans the less motivation we have to care about people.
When desperation kicks in, sometimes the standards are lowered and self-respect is up for sale. What does it matter when the other option is believed to be a life not worth living?
To accept a life that you dislike could mean that you’ve decided that there isn’t anything better for you. There’s peace when there is no one to fight. It may be true that this is as good as it gets but a lack of an imagination can take you to the end of the line prematurely. If you can imagine the reality of an idea then it’s likely to be realistic especially if it’s been done before. To not be at peace with the life you have may indicate that you believe there is something better for you. You don’t ever hate yourself for what you do not think is possible or expected of you.
A life of torment is referred to as an unimaginable hell not because it wasn’t a possibility but because it was a life one hoped would never happen to them. One who dreams for better possibilities than status quo is considered to have a good imagination but it’s not meant to be a compliment.
There’s a life we imagine for ourselves but we often set limits based on our environment and cultural conditioning. It’s like writing science fiction fantasy novels but not allowing the stories to ever leave Earth…you can only go so far.
Daily Prompt: Imaginary
“I learned how to win a little at a time. But finally I’ve learned this: if you’re too careful, your whole life can become a fuckin’ grind.”
One of the laws of life is “no risk no reward.” Sometimes we hold out hoping for an option that carries no risk and only reward. That doesn’t usually exist except for the ones who run the show and make the rules. The more you feel you have to lose the more risk that is involved. When a situation seems so dire though risk might not even seem like an issue.
I don’t believe risk is the same as sacrifice. With the latter you’re giving up something for something else. With risk you’re giving up something and you might get nothing or worse. In a long enough time line though the difference between risk and sacrifice can become blurred.
Since nothing is 100%, risk is involved all the time. You might think that supposed safe job is risk free but what happens when you’re at the age of 45 and it gets taken away from you all of a sudden or you’re stuck in a cycle of 9-5 misery. Some choices don’t seem risky only because they’re more widely accepted as standard practice. Half the time risk is just the possibility of feeling left out from society. What if you’re at the end of your life and wished you took that potentially life changing risk when you were 25? Can not taking a risk be considered risking your life?
Life rewards those who take risks because most people aren’t willing to take them. The fear of losing overpowers the desire to win. We’re a very risk adverse species when comfortable options are available.
The ones that took a risk and failed will tell you, “just work a job.” The ones that succeeded or who didn’t take a risk will say, “you don’t want to work for somebody for all of your life.” Most people will have a bias.
“I took a risk, I took a risk, you see all the angles, and never have the fucking stones to play one”
A downward trajectory in your current situation is always met with resistance but there’s sometimes a silver lining on the way down. One can only guess what might happen in the future but the past has been written and drawn for your viewing displeasure. At a rock bottom the view into one’s life so far can allow for a new perspective. While you’re laying there with nowhere to go you get to visit and revisit the past. Like a movie you’ve watched several times there’s always little parts you’ve missed.
Being forcibly released from what you have been accustomed to or believed is like a detox. All the things in your life that weren’t really important dissolve as time goes by while the gems that became covered on the way up show themselves to you again. There’s an appreciation for blue skies and smiles when you’ve withdrawn from the complexities that you thought were standard.
Sometimes rock bottom is an opportunity for a new and better life. Other times, when you don’t think it can get worse it might just mean that you’ve never had worse. Whether up, down or sideways it’s always temporary.
Daily Prompt: Temporary
Like Blockbuster Video when the obvious end was near the game plan was to preserve life and hope for a turnaround. It’s always easier to hope and pray than to begin the transition onto seemingly nothing. I’ve often opted for the bitter end as it gave me the permission to do nothing. If someone or something chose to end it for me then in my head it released me from any possible regret of making the wrong choice. If I was the one to cut the cord then it was likely I was 99% sure it was over…almost nothing is 100%.
When the bitter end arrives the time to jump ship was long time ago. Inaction is often as detrimental as bad action but at least with the latter you tried. Doing nothing can be the same as rolling over and giving your attacker your neck. Hoping something will happen by staying the course can be just an excuse you tell yourself so that you don’t have to admit you’re a coward.
Paralyzed by the possibilities of feeling dumb the convenience of time is another reason to not make a move. Every moment you’re thinking of justifications to do nothing though is a moment you’re taking away from thinking about doing something. It’s a common practice to do nothing hoping that you’ll wake up one day on the shore of a paradise island. Taking action involves effort and discomfort.
It’s advantageous to know what you want in life because then it’s easy to decide what’s going to take you there or not. Not knowing leaves you floating in an ocean only to make a move when a storm appears. You only get so many chances before the last storm sucks you in while you look back at where you could have navigated to.
Daily Prompt: Bitter