The Reality of Life

There might be no rule book to life but it’s apparent to me now that your degree of success is dependent on your grasp of reality and your willingness to surrender to it.

I spent most of life wanting life to cater to how I wanted it to be not because I was convicted in my beliefs but because I was uncomfortable with the alternative. Hope and time was on my side, so I felt, which led me to do nothing much. The truth always was that if you want something you have to make it happen and there’s always some kind of risk associated with it. Hope is completely imaginary when there is nothing behind it.

Life hasn’t worked out for an abundance of people out there and many of them opt for the road of excuses. You can blame immigration, family or some other external factor but in all likelihood there was something in your timeline you could have easily improved. There’s excuses and then there’s what really happened. To be forgiving though, sometimes you just didn’t know any better.

If you bring a baseball bat to a hockey game you’re either going to fail or not even be allowed to play. You can be as stubborn as you like but it’s highly unlikely the rules are going to change in your favour. Keep bringing that baseball bat and you’ll keep failing.

I don’t know how things “should” be but I have a better idea how I’d like them to be, and then there’s how it is.

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Unlikely Sources of Enlightenment

It’s easy to fall into negativity because it’s a survival mechanism. Having ambitions way past your current situation triggers a danger response. In the background there’s always a silent voice coercing you into doing the thing that has been known to get people by. You become your environment and the common environment is not very inspiring. If anything it’s depressing.

There’s inspirational/motivational/rational speeches and videos that are part of my routine although not my daily routine. I see them more as my religion than I do self-help or motivation.

As much as I believe in what they have to say, not being surrounded by others who believe what you do as deeply as you do diminishes the potential of the possibilities. Being the lone attendee at a powerful sermon does not make for a spiritual environment that lingers on. Instead, you might look around, see no one and think you’re a fool. Power in numbers.

There’s this guy on YouTube who looks like a meathead but has some inspiring videos. I watch one of his videos regularly and try to burn his words into my brain.

“…don’t complain about it, don’t whine about, don’t tell other people how destitute you are. You followed your heart. You own your heart and balls. Now eat the cake associated with it. That’s the problem. People want to follow their hearts but they also want the guarantee of the traditional path.”

“…you will be cast out, you will be a weirdo, you will be eccentric, it’s just the way of the heart. But it will be your way.”

“…the difference is that the traditional path has a ladder of success, you can look at it, go to college, get a career…which is no longer a reality. It’s a hope. It’s a wish. Get a pension plan, retire, blah blah blah. There’s a linear approach. When you start following your heart there’s no guarantee. You don’t know where that motherfucker is going to take you.”

It’s true. You don’t know where that motherfucker is going to take you.

Thinking

How well you do in life and who you associate with comes down to what and how well you think. Whether your thoughts are rational or not, people won’t like you as much if you don’t think the same way they do. Life though, does not care if you think your beliefs are well-thought-out when they’re not because it will hand you what you deserve.

The term “think” is used as loosely as “good,” “bad” or “friend.” In order to claim that you think this or that, means that you should have at least thought about it. Many people do think but often only to the benefit to what makes them feel better. Not everyone thinks they are the smartest but they always tend to think that they’re right. People who are certified crazy think they are right just as often as anyone else. Some people are stronger than others and some think better than others but you can’t bash a person’s brains out with your words and claim victory. In the end they can just say, “we’ll have to agree to disagree.” Unless if you’re a certified expert in a field you won’t get any credibility for being more knowledgeable and thought-out in a particular subject than some chump off the street you’re arguing with.

I often avoid interactions longer than 5 minutes with some people because then I’ll probably have to hear what they “think.” The difference between conversing with a child versus an adult is the expectation. For some reason you expect someone’s thoughts are relative to their age. Thinking is like anything else…the less time you spend doing it effectively the more you’ll suck at it. All one needs to do to make themselves think that they are making sense is to create a weak idea that supports their theory and not challenge it.

When you’re accused of overthinking it could be because you’re overthinking or maybe that person just doesn’t like what you have to say. Everything can seem like overthinking to someone who doesn’t think. When you’re not thinking you’re blindly following.

 

Bored to Life

The battle with boredom is a continuous one that requires more energy than staving off hunger. Every time your heart beats you are either strategizing against boredom or executing your plan. People are always looking for “something to do.” An entire life lived can often be predicated by the goal of not to be bored.

“Don’t you get bored?” is a question someone with ample time will get from people who hate being at their jobs. As if killing your boredom with misery is so much better. It’s the equivalent of cutting yourself to cope with emotional pain.

Lately, I have been in the mindset of embracing boredom. Sure, I can battle boredom with the army of technology available but it is a very short-term cure with no true benefit. Boredom is the portal that transports you to a new world. There will be a stage of suffering from fighting habitual urges and comfort but if you can weather the storm I believe there is something better on the other side.

Boredom is a tool to push evolution. If you are bored it means what you are doing feels next to useless. It’s neither enjoyable or beneficial to you so your mind is telling you to stop and move on. If you don’t listen then you will be bored to death.

I could spend 40 hours a week at an uninspiring job, watch TV shows for hours in a day, hang out with people for the sake of not being as bored, but it would be just a continuance on a dependence that only serves as a distraction.

Boredom is trying to prevent you from doing nothing like how fear prevents you from doing something. Together they mix a cocktail that will get you by another day like you have been doing so well at but nothing more.

Painful Relief

Absence makes the heart fonder just as pain turns the absence of pain into pleasure. Joy for many people is not about pleasure but instead the glimpses of relief from the pain in their life. I’m glad it’s over becomes the daily mantra for life which extends to the dying breath.

Pleasure can become muted out by the pain that spills over when you momentarily punch out. Reaching heaven is difficult when the gravity of pain is always pulling you back down to hell.

The great escape is only great while it’s an escape. When the pain is absent long enough to fade into the past, it’s common to voluntarily revisit it because any stimulation seems that it would be better than none. There’s more people living on the inside than out.

A relatively pain-free life can lack stimulation. When you’re floating on calm waters you can choose to dive down back to darkness or wait until the forces push you down. The other choice is to try and climb a wave.

The upward movement in mood is what we’re all seeking. When you’re drowning beneath the surface all that you wish for is to float. When you’re flatlining long enough you need a wave to bring you up.

Caring

Someone caring about you is one thing and how much they care about you is another. Whether they do or not, and how much is a matter of belief. Perhaps there are people who care about me but more importantly to me is what does their caring do for me. When you’re not #1 in anyone’s life then you might as well be tied for 10th place with 5 other people. This is why people go to great lengths to have a partner in their life because in our culture the unwritten rule and assumption is that you will be each other’s #1.

To care about someone is just as vital to one’s existence but the feeling has to be believed to be mutual. Sometimes we may find ourselves in denial so that we can continue the train of caring. Once it stops there’s no steam and nowhere to go. Having only yourself to care about takes you only so far.

Feeling important is almost the same as people caring about you. If no one cares about you then it means you’re not important. If you’re not important then it feels that you have no reason to live. The further we move away from dependence with humans the less motivation we have to care about people.

When desperation kicks in, sometimes the standards are lowered and self-respect is up for sale. What does it matter when the other option is believed to be a life not worth living?

Imaginary Unreality

To accept a life that you dislike could mean that you’ve decided that there isn’t anything better for you. There’s peace when there is no one to fight. It may be true that this is as good as it gets but a lack of an imagination can take you to the end of the line prematurely. If you can imagine the reality of an idea then it’s likely to be realistic especially if it’s been done before. To not be at peace with the life you have may indicate that you believe there is something better for you. You don’t ever hate yourself for what you do not think is possible or expected of you.

A life of torment is referred to as an unimaginable hell not because it wasn’t a possibility but because it was a life one hoped would never happen to them. One who dreams for better possibilities than status quo is considered to have a good imagination but it’s not meant to be a compliment.

There’s a life we imagine for ourselves but we often set limits based on our environment and cultural conditioning. It’s like writing science fiction fantasy novels but not allowing the stories to ever leave Earth…you can only go so far.
Daily Prompt: Imaginary