Thinking

How well you do in life and who you associate with comes down to what and how well you think. Whether your thoughts are rational or not, people won’t like you as much if you don’t think the same way they do. Life though, does not care if you think your beliefs are well-thought-out when they’re not because it will hand you what you deserve.

The term “think” is used as loosely as “good,” “bad” or “friend.” In order to claim that you think this or that, means that you should have at least thought about it. Many people do think but often only to the benefit to what makes them feel better. Not everyone thinks they are the smartest but they always tend to think that they’re right. People who are certified crazy think they are right just as often as anyone else. Some people are stronger than others and some think better than others but you can’t bash a person’s brains out with your words and claim victory. In the end they can just say, “we’ll have to agree to disagree.” Unless if you’re a certified expert in a field you won’t get any credibility for being more knowledgeable and thought-out in a particular subject than some chump off the street you’re arguing with.

I often avoid interactions longer than 5 minutes with some people because then I’ll probably have to hear what they “think.” The difference between conversing with a child versus an adult is the expectation. For some reason you expect someone’s thoughts are relative to their age. Thinking is like anything else…the less time you spend doing it effectively the more you’ll suck at it. All one needs to do to make themselves think that they are making sense is to create a weak idea that supports their theory and not challenge it.

When you’re accused of overthinking it could be because you’re overthinking or maybe that person just doesn’t like what you have to say. Everything can seem like overthinking to someone who doesn’t think. When you’re not thinking you’re blindly following.

 

Advertisements

Amazon World

wp-image-1573604875

Every time I order a product from Amazon I feel as if I’m selling out or contributing to the demise of society. The way it’s looking, Amazon is trying to take over the world. I can support my local big-boxed store but the only reason why I would do so is if I believe I’m helping local people keep jobs or because I hate Amazon. Then again, why should anyone feel sorry for big-boxed retailers when they put mom and pop shops out of business. When you can get the same thing for cheaper there’s always that voice that tells you that you can get it for cheaper. One day you’ll find a reason to give in to those voices.

Resisting Amazon will probably only hurt me in the end. 50% of American households have an Amazon Prime membership. If you refuse to drive an automobile other people are still going to drive. All that will happen to you is that you’ll lose 2 hours of your day, have wet socks and no watermelon because you didn’t want to carry it home. With all your efforts that polar bear will still end up dead. With Amazon’s recent acquisition of Whole Foods you can now get watermelon delivered to your home.

They’re also hoping to get those delivery drones working one day but for now they have their own couriers. He freaked out when my dog weaseled her way through my legs and darted towards him. She has killed before.

wp-image-454810536

Painful Relief

Absence makes the heart fonder just as pain turns the absence of pain into pleasure. Joy for many people is not about pleasure but instead the glimpses of relief from the pain in their life. I’m glad it’s over becomes the daily mantra for life which extends to the dying breath.

Pleasure can become muted out by the pain that spills over when you momentarily punch out. Reaching heaven is difficult when the gravity of pain is always pulling you back down to hell.

The great escape is only great while it’s an escape. When the pain is absent long enough to fade into the past, it’s common to voluntarily revisit it because any stimulation seems that it would be better than none. There’s more people living on the inside than out.

A relatively pain-free life can lack stimulation. When you’re floating on calm waters you can choose to dive down back to darkness or wait until the forces push you down. The other choice is to try and climb a wave.

The upward movement in mood is what we’re all seeking. When you’re drowning beneath the surface all that you wish for is to float. When you’re flatlining long enough you need a wave to bring you up.

Snoring

The dog is snoring right now and for some reason coming from her it’s adorable. When a human snores, all that you want to do is put a pillow over their face. A person snoring is like someone playing a trumpet poorly when no one wants to hear it. You give them a break though because it’s supposedly not their fault. Fault or not, in many circumstances in life the person of annoyance has to go or be killed. It’s not some psychopath’s fault that they love to kill people.

In a more uncivilized environment I’m sure the snorers would be the first to die by the hands of their own tribe. You would lay there at night hearing the rumbling and murder would come across your mind. Do we really need him? In the darkness of night no one would see and by morning no one would care. Celebration with silence. Goodnight.

20170701_112759

Caring

Someone caring about you is one thing and how much they care about you is another. Whether they do or not, and how much is a matter of belief. Perhaps there are people who care about me but more importantly to me is what does their caring do for me. When you’re not #1 in anyone’s life then you might as well be tied for 10th place with 5 other people. This is why people go to great lengths to have a partner in their life because in our culture the unwritten rule and assumption is that you will be each other’s #1.

To care about someone is just as vital to one’s existence but the feeling has to be believed to be mutual. Sometimes we may find ourselves in denial so that we can continue the train of caring. Once it stops there’s no steam and nowhere to go. Having only yourself to care about takes you only so far.

Feeling important is almost the same as people caring about you. If no one cares about you then it means you’re not important. If you’re not important then it feels that you have no reason to live. The further we move away from dependence with humans the less motivation we have to care about people.

When desperation kicks in, sometimes the standards are lowered and self-respect is up for sale. What does it matter when the other option is believed to be a life not worth living?

Poor Outcomes in Life

If you are unaware or don’t believe in statistics then you are likely to become one. I grew up with the same group of guys and continued the friendship well into adulthood. I know enough about every stage of their lives to make sense of them.

In the beginning you all appear to be at the same level mostly because grade school and the legalities of age confine you. Sure, Mike might have all the swimming badges but who cares. John is an honour roll student but his grades aren’t doing anything for him right now. Dave’s grades suck and he’s good at nothing except thievery but he’s still in the same grade as Mike and John. Everyone’s future is still speculative.

Once you’re out of high school you’re free to fly as much as you are free to do nothing. From there it’s a slow rise or descent which makes being able to see the future vast disparities of inevitable outcomes difficult especially with the large dose of ego of a 20 -something-year-old.

Once time has somewhat settled the dust it all starts to make sense. It may have always made sense but to make sense you need knowledge and rationality. Broken homes and poverty is a killer combination. If you have one or the other you can get by at least with the appearance anyway. If you have both you’re a coin toss. You’re either in trouble or at best on the low-end of average. If you become the latter they’ll say, “you turned out okay.” What they really mean is that you could be a lot worse.

The few guys in the group from disadvantaged upbringings show the same thing in common. None of us had that strong enough desire or the capability to become successful or even that average guy in society. Perhaps it’s having no one to disappoint or to impress, having less fear of failure or some kind of brain wiring. Maybe if you don’t get what you need when you were young you can’t move on. I think the pitfall was using average as the barometer for success and competency.

Everyone else is living that typical life of marriage and a career. Even if they are miserable doing it or will be that’s considered normal. For them the want is there and strong. You don’t have to be happy to be considered a functional and competent adult in society.

Your early upbringing can retard your development or point it in a different direction. It might not necessarily be a bad thing but it’s not like most people. If you want to function well with society though you have to be like most people.

 

 

 

The Last Day at Work

It was the last day of my 2 week resignation notice and I was hoping to get away without many colleagues knowing about my departure. There’s a morning meeting every day when management announce what they think needs to be said and I guess people quitting fits into that category.

“It’s his last day today so wish him good luck.”

You could hear some gasps within the circle of people. A few of them rushed to my vicinity eager to hear what was waiting for me but hoping to hear I wasn’t going on to something better. People can cope with their dreadful existence if they believe no else around them can do better.

“It’s either quit or stay here forever,” I said.

Perhaps no greater words have been spoken before but it wasn’t promising enough to spark widespread envy. Having perceived to have opened myself to life’s fury soothed their souls. To many there that job was a godsend for the unambitious. “Put in your years and you’re golden.” That way of thinking should have expired at least 30 years ago.

Some people probably had the idea that I thought I was too good for the job and would be sorry once I realized how “life really works.” Company nerds can take offence that someone would leave for what they perceive as nothing.

“You just have to accept it,” one said.

“Sometimes acceptance is the same as giving up.” 

 

The words people will say to you depend greatly on the actions that have transpired. When the damage has already been done, thoughts on what you should have done go unspoken. As stupid as they might think you are all that’s left to be said are well wishes.

“Good luck, nice working with you.”