Reading Books

My former Amway sponsor said if you don’t read books you might as well be illiterate. I responded by saying I would still need to read restaurant menus, but I get his point. I don’t believe that people who read abundantly are more intelligent because it depends greatly on what you read and how you process the information. Finishing a large catalogue of books from the teenage vampire genre doesn’t make you an intellectual.

In the past couple of years I have been trying to make it a habit to read more and I have been failing at it for the most part. In a book that I have been slowly reading over the past few months it suggested that when it comes to progress anything is better than nothing, just don’t give up. So I made a promise to read at least 2 pages a day no matter what. I’ve been failing even at that but I never mentally called it quits.

I’m on a quest towards self-improvement and progress. For $20 or free you can get a lifetime of information from people who are smarter, more educated and more experienced than you are. All you have to do to absorb their powers is to read what they wrote.


I don’t know if I’d recommend any of the books I’m reading to many people. Marilyn Manson’s book is the most entertaining…surprise surprise. The other 3 books have good information but can be boring too. Reading internet articles seems to be more practical. I believe books have to be a certain number of pages so that the publisher or whoever can justify a higher cost, and in return you get a bunch of filler pages and paragraphs.

If you want to improve in a particular area in your life, reading the appropriate books is a must. If you’re not seeking out information to improve in a particular subject it means you’re not interested in improving or you think you know it all.

If I was a parent I would be reading books on parenting, children, social sciences or at least a stripper’s autobiography for lessons on what not to do. There’s books to help you with your career but a good sign that you don’t like your job is if you have no interest in doing it better. Who wants to read books on something they hate doing? If you’re not interested in seeking information on raising a better child then maybe you don’t really want to be a good parent?

Today I read 20 pages. I deserve a cookie.


The Dark Side

In the circle of people I grew up with, selling drugs has had a few types of doors. There’s the revolving door where someone quits but returns in the future. There’s a few reasons why they quit but the most common is because they weren’t making enough money. They’ll tell you it’s because of something else but ultimately it’s because the money stopped coming in.

Hoods never stop, they just take a break.
– City of God(movie)

Transitioning from the world of drug dealing to legitimate life can be difficult. Your education, work experience and people skills can be comparable to that of a 12-year-old. Even if you do power through, your possibilities seem limited. During a period when life puts its squeeze on, some tend to break and walk back over to the dark side.

Most assume that if you have made it past your 20s without having given into the temptation of making easy money then your remaining years of life will be entirely a legitimate path. When life bends you over and gives it to you then you might just walk through that new door. You know how life lived for over 30 years on one side of that door is and it has sucked with a bleak outlook going forward. At least maybe on the dark side the stars will align for you.

You are the sum average of the 5 people you spend the most time with
Jim Rohn

Associating regularly with drug dealers but never taking a bite of the sinful fruit seems somewhat impressive but it’s like herpes. The dormant virus is in you and it only takes a single occasion to produce an outbreak. When you say you’ll never do it but you’re always around people that do, you’re sending mixed messages to the universe. One day it’s going to give you the only answer that makes sense.



Dear Diary: Binging/Addiction

On The Doctors they featured a woman who for many years was addicted to physical exercise. I’ve been experimenting with different workout regimens trying to find one I can stick with. As with most things in life it’s been a trial of trying to find an acceptable level of pain for reward(loser’s attitude). If I could just develop 1/10th of that woman’s addiction I’d be better than 9/10ths of the population. Having 1/10th of a crystal meth addiction would be perfect. The exercise-addicted woman discovered one day that her addiction was a means to block out childhood trauma from sexual abuse.

Many people binge watch television shows not to block out memories of a perverted uncle but often they’re blocking out something. It could be as innocent as procrastinating housework or maybe something else more sinister like wasting life. It’s easy to throw in the towel and decide that there’s nothing else to life besides a job and maximum screen time. Maybe sometimes you just run out of 91 octane for life.

The last 2 days I binge watched a docuseries on the Roman Empire. I usually feel a bit like a loser when I binge watch TV shows but I convinced myself that I was binge learning. I was educating myself while being entertained at the same time. It may not have been about the Roman Empire as much as it was a story about the Roman Empire because it’s anyone’s guess what really happened 2000 years ago. A person’s propensity for bullshitting can have no limits especially in certain situations. Like the saying goes, history is written by the winners. 





Decision Making

The ones who make better decisions will do better in life. Most people don’t do so well in life. They do okay, satisfactory maybe, average. In other words, they would do things much differently if they could do it over again.

If you could figure out how to make good decisions then you would be set. Some figure it out but often only after they have handcuffed themselves to the consequences of a series of bad decisions.

Since I have no positive residuals to show for from any decisions I made in my 20s then I may have made no good decisions during that era. My path in life during that time may have been attributed from the lack of a decision. Like the saying goes, not making a decision is still a choice. 

To be able to make good decisions requires the appropriate knowledge, experience and objectiveness. Too often the beliefs, ego and emotions interfere with rational decision making by ignoring statistics, science and math. 2 + 2 = 4 except when you want it to equal 5.

Fear is often the constant emotion involved in bad decision making. Being blinded by love is more often a case of being plagued by fear. The occupation that one chooses is often a decision based on a perceived probability of not losing. Settling too soon for too little feels safe but the guarantee you’re also promised is that you’ll never win.

An immediate catastrophe is often not the consequence of our decisions which allows people to prolong the idea of an improbable rosy outcome. There can be substantial comfort in the time between a bad decision and the day of reckoning.

If your life has not gone or is not going the way you would have liked it to then you have to question your decision making ability. If your main priority in life is to not feel down on yourself which is often the case then you will make many bad decisions. The universe does not care about your feelings.

Make your decisions as if the right or wrong answers would mean life or death the next day.


All Things Cannabis

You may or may not have heard that Canada will be the first G7 country to federally legalize marijuana for recreational purposes on Oct 17th, 2018. It may sound sad to some people but to me this is the most significant Canadian political event in my lifetime so far. I’m so in tune with what’s going on that I didn’t even know about it until after the prime minister who promised to make it happen was elected. What? They’re going to legalize marijuana? If I knew I might have voted.

You would have to be a shitty gambler to bet that the rest of the world is not going to follow to some degree. About a dozen other countries have federally legalized marijuana for medical use. With more than half the states in America having state legal medical and/or recreational cannabis it’s hard to believe they won’t be fully legalized one day. Who knows though. America has funny drug laws.

When the founder of Canada’s largest marijuana business first pitched his idea before recreation legalization was even thought of, the first 4 people said,  ‘Are you crazy?’

I thought, that’s terrific. That means there will be even fewer credible people that want to start them because the ones I spoke to think it’s horrible, not because of the business, but because of the reputational risk. I thought, ‘If you sit around and do nothing, isn’t that also reputationally bad?’


He also said when people called his idea crazy he then knew he was on to something. It’s another story of ‘crazy’ about to be normal. If hardly anyone is criticizing your ideas and actions then you’re probably not doing anything worthwhile. This only applies though if you’re a sane and rational person.

The provincial cannabis warehouse will be operating fairly close to my home and they’re hiring. It’s a government job so it has all of the offerings an average schmuck could ask for. I thought about applying for a job there but that would just be going back to the same vicious cycle I used to be in. No one would tell me I’m crazy for wanting to work there so it must be a bad idea.



Craigslist Stalking

When I receive a reply for an item I have listed on Craigslist I’ll sometimes Google the person’s name if it’s available. A few weeks ago some guy was interested in my vintage stereo receiver. Searching his name brought me to an article about a few people who had their prison sentences shortened. In this article it stated that this guy served time for illegal possession of a firearm, cocaine possession and aggravated assault. Looking over a Facebook page of the account of the same name and close proximity to me, a photo of the probable man in question had tattoos up to his neck and two tear drops under his eye. Just because the name was the same doesn’t mean it’s the same person but let’s just say his name was not John Smith. His first and last names are not unheard of but I doubt most people personally know anyone with either name. In case you’ve never heard, the number of tear drop tattoos under your eye is supposed to signify the number of people you have murdered. I replied to tell him that the item was no longer available and then deleted the listing. Maybe I’m an asshole for doing so but I don’t want to be another reason for him to cry.

Last week I had an ad for a free bag of lightly used dry dog food. You’ll be surprised with the amount of people who replied to this post. The guy left his full name and phone number but I didn’t investigate him until after he picked up the dog food. He drove 20 minutes to my place on a Sunday night after his daughter’s birthday dinner. Maybe that was her birthday present.

“Nothing else to do,” he said.

My investigation found that he’s a high school teacher who teaches computer geek stuff. My conclusion is that he’s a cheap Asian and/or he needed an excuse to get away from the family for an hour. I’m curious if I would get much interest if I listed a “lightly soiled mattress” for sale.

Men Sitting Down to Pee

Several years ago I was at someone’s place for dinner when he served us a defence on why sitting down to pee is better than standing. They weren’t irrational reasons he was giving but I clearly remember what was going on in my head.

  1. I’m not going to say anything
  2. His wife makes him sit down to pee

Some men claim they sit down to pee because it’s cleaner, easier or because it allows them to use their smartphone. If it’s always been cleaner then why do these men only start sitting down to pee when they are married? They had a sudden epiphany once married? If I was a betting man, and I am, I would put my chips on the wife telling them that they now have to pretend that they have a vagina.

How is it easier unless if you are old or have a medical condition? You have to push your pants down to your ankles, sit down, stand up and then pull your pants up. And I’m not buying that these guys can’t put the phone down for 10 seconds to take a piss.

But what man is going to admit that he sits down to pee because his smaller significant other commands him to? If a man’s wife expects or even gives her blessing for her husband to assume the pussy position then it means she doesn’t really respect him.