A Canadian in Las Vegas


The first time I went to Las Vegas was in August of 2008 for a friend’s stag who never ended up getting married. It was kind of pathetic since I didn’t even walk the strip or see a show. Most of the time was spent with strippers, alcohol and taxi drivers trying to bring us to hookers. This time around I planned to be a legit tourist…walk the strip, see a show, visit the Hoover Dam and buy overpriced tourist souvenirs.

A small poll that I conducted has me to believe that a significant population of Las Vegas are people who have found southern California too expensive. Apparently, Las Vegas is a relatively cheap place to live that has jobs. It’s what people have been doing since the beginning of time…when a place becomes unlivable for whatever reason people find some place else. Some people refuse to leave though and hope that the government or crystal meth will make things better.

There’s no black people where I live so talking to black people was a highlight of my trip. Hey, you sound like TV. I could listen to an American black woman talk all day. Another highlight was paying $5 to the 2nd least attractive woman on Fremont St to take a picture with me. It was like a circus there full of people looking to make a buck by dressing outrageous. I fell victim to typical human behaviour. For $5 I could have taken a picture with her and her 300 pound friend who was also dressed skimpily but I automatically settled for good enough. The lesson is to always ask yourself how can you make it better.


Fremont Street Experience

Final thoughts: Las Vegas is a cool place. Being required to tip is a stupid concept. Las Vegas is expensive. I’m surprised at the amount of people who play $25 a hand casino games. I gained weight. Use Uber or Lyft instead of taxis. Speaking of black people I caught a glimpse of Mike Tyson.





Spending Money and Loser Habits


When it comes to giving up bad habits people tend to find alternatives rather than quitting altogether. An alcoholic might go from hard liquor to wine and then beer until they realize there’s no happy medium. I’ve went the other direction. I bought my first bottle of hard liquor last week. The idea is that I’ll be able to pretend that I’m a mixologist, it’s more cost effective and it’s also low carb if I use soda water as a mixer.

I also bought a $10 crystal glass so that I can drink it in style like I’m a somebody. It’s made in Germany and fit for royalty. If I use it 1000 times then it’ll work out to be 1 cent a use.

I believe by using soda water as a mixer I’m counteracting some of the negative effects of alcohol such as dehydration. This all sounds like a bad idea but I’m not capable of being an alcoholic not because I can quit anytime but because I have acetaldehyde dehydrogenase deficiency. Most east Asians have this condition. Basically, it makes drinking alcohol less pleasant.

I like red wine but it’s expensive and you can’t open a bottle and come back to it in 3 days. Beer is okay too but sometimes I just don’t want to drink that much liquid plus it contains more calories and carbohydrates.

Every time I’ve had applewood smoked bacon it just tastes like regular bacon. I’m convinced applewood is just a marketing gimmick. Every time I eat potato chips I feel like a loser.


When you feel life has betrayed you then you build a workshop to make bombs. I watched the Unabomber show on Netflix recently and several times I thought, that sounds like something I would say or do. Luckily for the world I’m not smart enough to construct mail bombs. Why is it that when a perceived mad man writes something it’s always referred to as a manifesto?

The real reason why I assembled this tool display was because I saw it on some TV show and thought, hey, I think I have a peg board. I had a lot of fun doing it. Now when a robber comes in my home he’ll have an easy time finding the tools he needs to torture me. Man, there are countless horrible ways to torture a person. Any one of these tools could be effective for torture even the LED light. You could force someone’s eye open and shine the light in close proximity to the eye. Tell me where the gold is!

If you don’t tell him where the gold is then he could tape your hand to your face and bang 2 hammers together right beside your ear for an hour. If you think your life is bad now just think about that possibility and you’ll be grateful for your boring existence.



Stock Tips

The stock market is often seen as a vehicle for getting rich quick. It happens but far more often that approach leads to horror stories.

It always starts off the same way. Someone they know who is supposedly smarter than them gave them a “stock tip.” My tip to you is to be careful about stock tips. The thing about stock tips is that it does something to a person psychologically. The monkey brain wants to believe that it stumbled upon something special that no one else in the tribe knows about. This unique circumstance will hopefully catapult their rank among their peers and take them away from that average schmuck status.

A woman I know in my neighbourhood told me how when she was younger she put in some money into a stock that was supposed to make her rich. A wealthy relative had given her this tip and the fact that he was wealthy gave him more credibility. He was wrong and she owed $10,000 to her credit card because of it. She said, “it took me a long time to pay that one back.”

Lesson #1: Be careful about stock tips and don’t use your credit card to buy penny stocks.

In the year 2009 a guy I knew told me he was putting some money into the natural gas market because it was at an all-time low. Like a monkey seeing a banana in an alligator’s mouth I saw it as an opportunity even though it was based off basically nothing. The funny thing is that I knew that this guy had been consistently losing money in the stock market since 1999 and yet I thought this time would be different. Well, I wanted to believe that anyway. In a month I was down 75% of my money. Eight years later and the price of natural gas is roughly the same. If I stayed in that stock I would be down 90-something percent today.

Lesson #2: Be careful about stock tips.

Shortly after high school a guy I knew informed a handful of us of this new tech stock that was going to begin trading soon on the public markets. If we got in early we would see our money go up 100 times. They piled in with their money and some of them with their parents money. Everyone was talking about the islands they were going to buy. This company never went public. This company wasn’t even real. They gave all this money to some guy who had nothing but a story and some suckers who bought into it. The question is why didn’t anyone do any research or ask for some kind of proof of existence? I don’t know, maybe they didn’t want to discover any information that would give them doubts.

Lesson #3: Be careful about stock tips. And you’ll never be able to afford an island.

This is not to discourage anyone from getting involved in the stock market. Actually, I encourage it in most cases. Just don’t bet the farm on penny stocks or companies that have not been around for very long. A long-term approach investing in solid companies or just the S&P 500 index has historically proven to work well.




Reviving the Dead

When I don’t sleep a full 8 hours it’s enough for me to put off everything which was what I was going to do today.

David Goggins is a retired Navy SEAL and former USAF Tactical Air Control Party member who served in Iraq and Afghanistan. He is an ultramarathon runner, ultra-distance cyclist, triathlete and world record holder for the most pull-ups done in 24 hours.

I thought I’d listen to a Joe Rogan podcast while laying in bed and the outcome was motivation. I’m not going to wuss out today became the mantra. I was so fired up I couldn’t believe it. After breakfast I was at the park doing pull-ups and chin-ups. I didn’t break records but I did them until I couldn’t do another rep.

-Walked the dogs(there’s another one staying with me right now)
-Did the laundry
-Did more laundry

I want to include that I took a shower after jogging but it doesn’t sound very impressive. Then I took a nap like someone had knocked me out cold. Afterwards I watched an hour of business television where some guy in a suit talks about stocks. I’m blogging right now and afterwards I plan on practicing piano.

History shows that the motivation will fizzle out by the time I wake up tomorrow. The mind decides whether to do something or not, and it is really good at making up reasons for taking the currently easy way out. After listening to the podcast my thoughts are that the only way to keep going is to not give yourself a choice even though you have it. Nike said it best, Just Do It. What if all I have to do is listen to something or someone inspiring every day? I might even employ some stretching before I go to bed tonight.

How to be Less Successful in Life

The driving force behind the daily routine comes from the consequence of not following through. Take away the consequences then you’ll need to compensate with discipline. Other than my couple of weekly appointments, I can put off everything anywhere from a few hours to forever.

I could brush my teeth once I wake up or I could do it at 3 PM. I could wash my clothes today or wait until I’m on my last pair of semi-clean underwear. I could read that book I said I was going to read or never do it at all. No one is going to give me shit for anything I don’t do and only I lose.

At 7 PM yesterday I was just going to start watching a show on Netflix after a non-productive day then I thought to myself I could at least put in one hour of doing something I said I would do. If most people are suffering for 8 hours at work plus a commute then I can fight past the inertia for an hour.

I thought about how it was Thursday and my next piano lesson is on Sunday. I don’t want to look like a loser to my piano teacher. If it wasn’t for that I probably wouldn’t have practiced last night. I also decided to finally vacuum. I’ve been blaming the dog for the mess instead of my procrastination.

If I set a schedule and stick with it then I’ll be better off. I can make it a 3 hour work day. For example, 11 AM: exercise, 12:30 PM: practice piano, 1 PM: read 10 pages, 2 PM: talk to strangers.

I’m not sure if people are lazy or if it’s just a biological instinct to not want to use calories unless deemed necessary.

I need a life coach.



Back to School

Late last year I was enrolled in a stock market investing course which was a disappointment. It may have been a satisfactory course if you knew absolutely nothing and if Wikipedia didn’t exist like in 1995. Half the class didn’t even show up for the last lecture. This instructor was relevant 20 years ago. Another example of humans becoming obsolete but still hanging on with 2 fingers. I find it odd how there is only one course in this city on stock market investing but handfuls on subjects such as pottery, photography and cooking.

Yesterday marks my third piano lesson. My piano teacher says I’m the worst student she has ever had and wonders how I even got this far in life without losing a body part. She said she has 5-year-old students who play better with their toes. She may not have said any of that only because she’s happy to take my $37.50 Canadian dollars for 45 minutes of instruction.

When I was a kid my mother offered to put me in Kung fu lessons stating that I could fall back on teaching for money if I had to. I declined and she more than willingly accepted because it would save her money.

I bought the best cheapest digital piano from Costco online. If I wasn’t home at the time of delivery I wonder if the UPS guy would have just left it in front of my door.


If nothing else it makes for a decent piece of decorative furniture.


No Sweat

I wonder how much of the issues that occur from getting older are really from neglect and not from natural ageing. You always hear people 40 and up say, “that’s what happens when you get older.”

Am I supposed to believe that you just get fat because of age?…”your metabolism slows down when you get older.” I think it’s more accurate to say that it’s easier to get fatter as you age, but some people give you the idea that it’s not a choice.

Another thing I’ve been told is that when you get older you just don’t sleep as much. It’s easy to believe because you always hear of old people sleeping at midnight and waking up at 5 AM and working stiffs in their mid-life running on 5 hours of sleep a day.

I’m not sleeping as well as I used to and I think it has to do with not doing anything. My body might be sending adaptive signals to my brain telling it I don’t need to sleep much. The only time I sweat is when the steam from hot food hits my face. Sure, I walk fairly long distances sometimes but there’s still no sweat.

When does the average person exert maximum force on a monthly basis? Carrying groceries? Running to the toilet?

Sleeping was never an issue when I was working my previous job. I’d be moving all day and sweating on most days, profusely sweating every day in the summer.

Not perspiring regularly can’t be good, in my opinion. Sweating because you’re overweight doesn’t count.

I started jogging recently and the goal isn’t distance or time but to sweat. My recent purchase of one of those Under Armour shirts that are supposed to wick away sweat has found early use. I only bought it because it was on clearance. I was thinking I would wear it in the summer when I would be sweating while doing nothing.