Non-active Gym Membership

When doing the math, $4.99 plus tax every 2 weeks on a 1 year commitment could only be so bad. I suspect this gym had the same idea. A week after I signed up for the gym membership I crashed my car which resulted in a total loss. I walked to the gym a few times after but eventually gave it up. Now I’m the best type of customer that they have…one who pays but never goes. The bad customers take up space, stink up the place and contribute to wear and tear of the equipment. They should throw customer appreciation parties for customers like me.

It’s a classic case of human behaviour. Optimism is at its highest when an idea is just an idea. People often rationalize the high likelihood that they will commit. Everything works in theory. Once the idea requires physical effort it no longer seems like such a good idea. Now you rationalize ways on how it’s okay to stop going and how the money that will be wasted isn’t that much. You tell yourself that walking your dog is plenty of exercise and the money wasted is only half of what you received for Christmas. I’d like to see the stats of active memberships versus non-active. I’m sure it’s part of the business plan.

There’s a reason why businesses make you sign contracts. They know that people are losers and will often fall into the trap of convenience and laziness. When video stores were around they thrived on late fees. People would often put off returning videos until the last day and when that day came they forgot or their house burned down. With enough life experience you start to say “no” to every enticing offer not because it’s not a good deal but because you know your loser tendencies. Accepting offers are often a bet with yourself.

In the past I have made good use of my gym memberships but it just didn’t happen this time. It’s just been too inconvenient without a vehicle(excuse). I do mini-workouts by randomly dropping and giving myself 20 or doing pull-ups on the monkey bars when there’s no children around. I still have half a year to redeem myself with my gym membership so we’ll see what happens(rationalizing hope).

 

Craigslist Shopping

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$40

The last old white guy who sold me a rotary phone told me how great his was, “they don’t make them like they used to.” After bringing it home I found out it didn’t ring like it used to either because it was missing the bell. His kid probably yanked it for a science experiment.

This other old white guy gave me his “word” that this one was fully functional. “If it doesn’t work you know where I live.” I told him I would be too lazy to come back to look for him(50 minute drive). I had full confidence in him though and turns out his word was as good as a golden toilet(I was just listening to a radio program talking about Saddam Hussein’s gold toilets). In other words the phone was fully functional!

You might be thinking that I picked up a piece of shit for $40 but I’ll have you know I found a gem for a bargain.

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$50

A couple weeks ago I picked up a leather heavy bag made in USA, USA, USA. If you have ambitions of beating and dragging small Asian women this would be an ideal exercise equipment to have weighing in at 80 pounds.

During my bag workouts I picture various people that I do not like and sock them in the lip and then in the solar plexus. It’s a great workout and stress reliever. Far more enjoyable than the hamster wheel treadmill.

I felt that not sweating regularly besides from the hot steam from hot meals hitting my face was probably unhealthy. I hate jogging because it’s kind of boring and torturous like most other cardio exercises. You know you live in a good country when you run aimlessly to burn extra calories.

 

 

Torturous Recreation

Almost anything could seem like a good idea if you haven’t done it before. I like to get out of the house everyday and today I felt that lugging a 5 gallon water bottle full of water uphill from the supermarket to my home would be a fulfilling activity.

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With my calculations, this water bottle is close to the equivalent of 5, 1 gallon milk jugs which weigh 10 pounds each. I remember this because when I was a kid I weighed a jug of milk on the scale at home. This would be my version of a trek to an African water well to bring back water for the kids except that I’m not carrying it on my head, not walking as far and do not have to worry about hyenas.

I was curious if I could do it or how it would be like. Every block or two, I took a 1-2 minute rest as expected. My goal was to eventually make it back home. I carried the jug in every way except on my head. You get creative and find little ways to alleviate the strain by shifting the weight of the jug by just a little.

On the way, some middle-aged Asian guy laughed at me, as expected but he gave me a thumbs up. I’ve never seen another idiot in my life walking around carrying a 5 gallon water jug.

It actually wasn’t that difficult but it would make sense since there are people out there who deliver these jugs all day for a job. Before I started walking 5-10 km, the idea of having to park my car 2 blocks away from my destination was considered a failure. I was thinking if I could lug this water bottle for just over a mile uphill it would make other tasks that seemed dreadful before, easy.

Before the popular Japanese hot dog eating champion came around, the winners from the previous 30 years were winning with 10 to 25 hot dogs. The first time Takeru Kobayashi entered the contest he downed 50. On a podcast he spoke about how people don’t improve because they set mental limits for themselves.

To be honest, I carried that water jug for something to do and not for the intention of bettering myself besides the exercise. But if it leads to a better version of myself then I’ll happily take that side effect.

 

Daily Prompt: Water

 

 

 

Walking 10 km For Shits and Giggles and a Crepe

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The above excerpt from Mike Tyson’s autobiography was what inspired me to walk 10 km (6 miles) on Saturday.  I had a craving for a crepe but the only places in this city that offer crepes are in the nicer part of town.  I guess crepes aren’t for low class people.  My plan was to take the train down there and walk it back.  It’s a 10-15 minute train ride and about 2.5 hour walk back. While on the train ride this seemingly sexyish girl got on the train.  She was about 5 foot 2 inches, wearing a nice dress, big sunglasses and she was showing off her tattoos on both arms.  I started staring at her hand cause it was the closest part to me because she was holding the pole.  Her hand looked pretty big.  I was thinking if she punched me, she could inflict some decent pain.  They looked like hammers.  I mean, they weren’t just big, they looked strong too.  I started looking at her tattoos after and I noticed how hairy her arms were but the size of her forearms caught my attention.  Again, they weren’t just big, they looked dense too.  Hmmm..I think she is a he!  Trickery.  I started staring at his breasts and that pretty much convinced me she was a he because she/he was pretty flat chested.  No picture.

It was a busy day downtown.  Sunny weather, lots of people out, street bands, food trucks.  You know, a scene for good times for normal people. So I get this Nutella and Banana crepe but also get upsold to add nuts and Grand Marnier.  High class!  It was a rip off.

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Looks kind of gross.  Sorry.  I felt kind of bad for throwing down so much sugar in one sitting but it motivated me to walk.  I pretty much took off after eating my crepe.

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I could not agree more

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A few dogs jumped over this ledge so they put up a sign

 

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This is where the rainbow ends

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This is a house made from what looks like a desk, 2 pallets and other stuff.

 

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A couch made of something with colourful tiles glued on.

A couch made of something with colourful tiles glued on.

 

It is kind of cool how there are random water fountains.  Well, it is not that random really since it is on a bike path.

It is kind of cool how there are random water fountains. Well, it is not that random really since it is on a bike path.

 

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Another one and it is midget/dog friendly.

 

You can pick up some donuts after buying a plunger and use that plunger after eating the donuts

You can pick up some donuts after buying a plunger and use that plunger after eating the donuts

 

This walk was good exercise but it was also very meditative.  After half an hour to an hour, you start to feel a physical effect.  You keep walking and it becomes difficult for any negative thoughts to penetrate your mind.  You might think of them but they don’t stick around.  They say exercising is a very good anti-depressant and it makes sense.  Unfortunately, it’s easier to pop a pill than it is to do moderate exercise all day.  I always feel good after exercising.  I think I’d like to do this more often.  I like it because it’s a brainless activity, free, enjoyable and it gives me justification to eat something not so good for me beforehand.

 

Garlic Butter Prawns, Medicine Balls and Spending Money

Last week I came across this idea to buy shrimp and cook it up.  At $10 a pound it’s not exactly inexpensive.  They weren’t frozen but I doubt they were fresh either otherwise it would have said so.  Previously frozen and thawed is my guess.  I justified spending the money cause it was the weekend and I wasn’t going to go out anywhere.  I fried them with the shells peeled in a cast iron skillet using butter and minced garlic.  Sounds good except I couldn’t taste the butter or garlic.

Today I decided to give it another try.  As I approached the seafood section I noticed something different.  There were 2 large tanks of British Columbia Spot Prawns.  They just came into season and were on sale for $14 a pound which was $8 off.  I didn’t want to pay that much but I did.  I justified it by telling myself that they were live and only in season for a short time.  I think it ended up costing about $1 a prawn!

Heads Ripped Off

Heads peeled off

I tried the whole garlic butter thing again but this time I added butter and garlic near the end.  I still failed. I ended up melting butter in a bowl in the microwave.  I’m concluding that it’s difficult to get the garlic butter taste just by frying with garlic and butter.  If you know the way to Zen garlic buttery mastery, please let me know.

Heads (head parts were still moving after I tore them off from the bodies)

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Prior to my prawn escapade, I was at a grassy field discovering the joys of exercising with a medicine ball.  There’s this place near me that sells exercise equipment that is owned by Chinese people.  I’ve been contemplating getting this leather medicine ball from there and since he “give good discount,” I decided to get it.  I needed something to do today anyway.

It cost more than I’d like to admit even with the “good discount” but it’s really nice.  It’s nice leather and it’s handmade here too.  I know this cause their factory is on my delivery route.  If you had a chance to look inside the factory, it looks just like a sweat shop.  A bunch of Chinese people who can’t speak English, making things with their hands.  I justified this purchase by telling myself it will last a long time, it’s nice and it will benefit my health and fitness.  They guy told me half the cost is for the leather and there’s 2 hours of work put into it so I figured $65 (no tax if paid by cash of course) was worth the product.

My New Leather Medicine Ball (6 – 8 lbs)

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Medicine ball exercises are better suited for 2 people but being the expert at being a loner, I came up with the idea of using a hill as my partner.  I stand near the grassy hill and throw the ball towards it.  Being the cooperative partner the hill is, the ball rolls back to me.  Who needs friends when you have the law of physics.  Physics doesn’t eliminate the possibility of dog shit on my ball though.

One of my other motives for getting a medicine ball was to encourage myself to be more active.  I figure I will feel better if I spend more of my day outdoors exerting energy.  To be honest, I do feel pretty good right now.  I think when you tire yourself out from full body exercise, it makes it more difficult to feel mentally shitty after.

Old Chinese Lady Cashing In Recyclables 

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I see this lady on my route regularly.  When people put out their stuff for Recycling Day she will go around picking out whatever the recycling depot will take for money.  I think all neighbourhoods have someone who does this.  She’s not homeless she’s just looking to make a few extra bucks.  I don’t think you will ever see a homeless Asian person in the western world.  We haven’t arrived to that stage of evolution yet.  We’ll get there though, just give us some time.

This lady would probably think I’m retarded for spending the money I did today.  Just because I’m able to justify spending money doesn’t mean I actually believe it’s a good idea.  Not much of what I do is ever a good idea.  I take some opportunity to not be so frugal now in case I don’t get the chance in the future.  That’s how I justify it anyway.