Dumping Rice

When you’re Asian, you live your whole life eating white rice. You eat so much of it that you buy it by the 50 pound bags. Some will say that they love rice but how can you really love something that tastes like nothing. What they really mean is that they like rice when it’s soaked with sauce or mixed with meat.

I don’t know the origins of rice consumption but I would bet it has something to do with cost efficiency for the number of calories. Other than being a filler, white rice has not much else to offer besides type 2 diabetes. This is why I might be giving up this poverty grain for the more nutritionally dense russet potato.

Old habits die hard but to live in a developed country and still be eating white rice every day is like taking a bath with your siblings to save hot water. Thank goodness I’m an only child.

When I revert back to white rice it means I failed in life. What kind of a loser can’t even afford a russet potato lifestyle? I’m buying a sack of potatoes tomorrow. I can feel your envy through the blogosphere already.

Tonight’s dinner: Spare ribs, russet potatoes in a sauce comprised of vinegar, coriander spice and chili powder. I should add some cilantro so it doesn’t look like dog food.

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Asian Privilege

In recent years there’s been a lot of talk around the internet about ‘white privilege.’  It’s funny how a lot of topics that are popular online don’t get much exposure in real life.  I guess the internet allows people to feel safe to talk about whatever they want.  The online world is almost like the dream world of real life and slowly becoming real life.  If most of your life is lived online then it’s pretty much real life.

There’s a lot of disadvantages to being an Asian living in a white country.  You’re probably shorter, smaller and not that many white women are attracted to you.  This makes you inferior to white people but I guess all races are generally inferior to white people.  But if you were black you could at least be feared by the white man because you might be bigger and also have the possibility of having his wife lust after you.  I don’t think any white guy ever fears coming home early from work to see his wife naked in bed with some hairless Asian dude.

Unlike aboriginals and black people in North America, Asians didn’t get their humanity and culture crushed.  Sure, there’s equal rights now and opportunity for everyone but only if you can get to that level to take advantage of it.  Anyone can get into a good university but you still need the money and environment for that to even be a possibility.  When you want a group of people to become something from nothing, it’s asking quite a lot.

The vast majority of Asians immigrated to North America and took their momentum of being uncomfortable with them.  Asians never had that mentality that the white man was going to keep them down.  They came here thinking as long as there was a job, everything could be okay.  ‘Fun’ wasn’t in an Asian’s vocabulary.  It was work, work, work and save, save, save.

I guess on paper it worked.  Asians are considered the ‘model minority’ and right now is the equivalent to the Post War Economic Boom for them.  The dream for most of the world is to become that stereotypical middle class white person and have security, comfort and some luxuries.

It’s hard for an Asian to see a homeless or poor white person and not think that they fucked up.  When you come to a white country with no English and no money and see poor white people, to an Asian there’s no excuse.  Of course, no one sees evolution past themselves.  One often evolves when they have experienced something long enough.  It gets boring and they seek out the next adventure in life.  You can call it evolution or laziness but nothing ever stays the same for very long.

In general, only white people have experienced money and comfort.  The rest of us are just getting used to it.  There hasn’t been a majority of Asians here that have experienced comfort from birth to death.  My generation didn’t feel a semblance of comfort until our teen years.  The generation after me will probably be the first.  So soon you will see Asian strippers dancing to the equivalent of Warrant’s, Cherry Pie and guys like me living in a trailer fucking my second cousin.

Chinese Buns

Chinese buns are the equivalent to..hmmm.  I don’t know what it would be the equivalent to in the western world.  Rice is the equivalent to potatoes.  Soya sauce would be the equivalent to ketchup. I suppose Chinese buns would be the equivalent to donuts or danishes or something between a donut and a sandwich.

It is super common to walk into a Chinese home and see a box of Chinese buns.  It is just something that gets picked up over the weekend while grocery shopping.  

Last week, during work, I was hungry in the afternoon and decided to pick one up from one of the few bakeries in my area.  The first one I walked into didn’t get my money because the Chinese woman at the front counter grossed me out.  Between customers she would shovel greasy noodles in her mouth.  It was mainly witnessing the greasy noodles getting shoveled into her mouth that turned me off but being fat and grumpy looking didn’t help either.  I couldn’t imagine her caring about anything that she sold so I took off out of there.  I went to the place just around the corner and bought a BBQ pork bun for $1.

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Don’t ask me what’s in there.20140807_143526_resized

 

There are many kinds of Chinese buns.  They are almost like crepes in that some are more savoury like this one but many are sweet like pineapple buns and coconut buns which don’t have any pineapple or coconut but instead an impersonated flavour.

If you have never tried any Chinese buns I think that you would like them.  There is nothing freaky about the taste or texture.  Many white people that I have spoken to have reported to like them.  It’s possible they were just saying that though because they were scared to be mistaken as a racist.

The KKK once catered one of their meetings with Chinese buns.  Okay, maybe not.  

I have a feeling that this post will generate some hits from disappointed people who are looking for pictures of Chinese rear ends to masturbate to.  Who knows, maybe they will settle for this. 

 

Why Asians Do Well in School

The statistics and stereotype would indicate that Asians in developed nations achieve higher academic success than the rest.  It just might be true.  Some media outlets have reported how some universities are ‘too Asian’ and that also some schools discriminate against Asian enrollment even if they have the required grades.

There’s two popular theories on why Asians seem to excel better academically.

1) Asians are just smarter

I wish I could believe that.  If that had a good possibility of being true then my dumbass friends and I would have breezed through high school.  I failed 5 out of 8 courses in Grade 8.  It’s true that I ditched class about as often as I was there but if I was naturally smart, I probably could have achieved better grades than I did.  It would have been 6 courses that I failed but my Social Studies teacher gave me a last minute chance.

2) Asian parents put more pressure on their kids to get good grades

I would say this is pretty accurate.  Asian parents who come to a 1st world country want nothing more than to see their kids seize the opportunities available to be the best they can be.  To them an education is your way out of ever having to worry about being poor and their rationale is that you cannot be poor and happy.  The idea is if the opportunity is there, you would have to be a fool not to go after it.

There’s another reason though that doesn’t get any attention for some reason.  Or maybe I wasn’t paying attention when they said it.  Number 3 is that Asians have less fun.  Possibly this is never stated because no media outlet wants to say anything negative towards any group of people.

In the university and college age group, partying and being social can take a toll on your grades.  It can ruin your motivations to attend post secondary altogether.  There’s 2 things that many Asians lack that prevent them from being able to succeed in ruining their post secondary hopes.

1) A lot of Asians are shy.

It’s extremely difficult for many Asians to be in a social setting and also be social.  Talking to strangers just isn’t their forte.  When you are raised with parents who are even more socially crippled, there isn’t much knowledge in that department to pass on.  So if you’re not out meeting people all the time and have little urge to attend social events, it really lessens the chance of having distractions.

2) A lot of Asians suck at drinking alcohol

What do a lot of young people do?  They drink alcohol and sometimes lots of it and sometimes too often.  Around 50% of Asians have this gene that processes alcohol differently than in most people. I have this gene.  It prevents you from being an alcoholic, yes, but it also prevents you from being comfortable after even 1 drink or 2.  It’s basically an allergy to alcohol.  You get drunk easily and your face turns all red.  The party ends half an hour after it starts.  You can read about this phenomenon here.

Yes, I continue to drink even though I lack the army to fight the good fight.  I took a different route by forcing alcohol in my body and building a better tolerance over the years.  I still suck compared to other people but I’m good enough to be able to stick around without puking. 

People who can and enjoy drinking alcohol do not realize that their life would be so much different if that wasn’t the case.  The people you associated with and the things that you did/do for fun would be much different.  All those drinking nights would have been traded for studying, board games, milk and cookies.  Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten pregnant?

Okay, so now you suck at being social and you also suck at drinking which might also be part of the reason why you suck at being social.  We all need something in life to keep us going and for a lot of Asians that thing is, doing well in school.  Studying doesn’t seem very stimulating but a volleyball by itself isn’t either until you are stranded on an island with no one and nothing else.  Now the volleyball has a name and he’s your best friend.

I think it’s also true that more Asians let their career define them.  A lot of Asians believe that if they don’t have a respectable career and earn decent income, they will have to feel shame from family, friends, potential partners, everyone, and live a sad lonesome life.

For this Asian, I get the worst of both worlds.  I never had any academic pursuits and my social ability may not be that horrible but I’m no butterfly.  Perhaps I was born in the wrong era.  I should have been born in the era when working at a supermarket could afford you a home and racism gave you a purpose in life.

 

Note: For this post, when I say Asian I am referring to the lighter skinned kind with black hair.

 

 

Bruce Lee – The Coolest Asian Ever

 

As far as I’m concerned, Bruce Lee is still #1 when it comes to the most coolest famous Asian.  I don’t even know who the distant second place would be.  Jet Li? Jackie Chan? Chow Yun Fat? Not even close.  It’s been 40 years and no one has even come close.

I wasn’t alive during his time but from what I hear there were tons of people from all cultures that were crazy about him.  He came to popularity at a time when being Asian was not cool or even that normal in a western country.  I could be wrong about that but when I was a kid in the late 1980’s it still kind of sucked and I live in a  city where there’s a crapload of Asians so it must have really sucked back then.

It was so ridiculous before.  David Carradine got picked to play an Asian martial artist over Bruce Lee for that show “Kung Fu.”  They almost picked Bruce Lee but he was too Asian or not white enough or something.  I guess it somehow made sense back then.

How did so many around the globe come to love him?  I think it was cause his skills were so impressive but also something else.  He was cocky and had this fearless look about him.   The way he moved was so fast and athletic.  His physique was insane.  It’s still used as a comparison today.  “He’s ripped like Bruce Lee.”

To add to his impressive resume he did something that was probably unheard of back then and is still difficult to accomplish today.  He got a white woman!  She wasn’t fat or anything either.  That’s how freaking cool he was!  I guess it didn’t hurt that he didn’t look like a dork with glasses.

He was way ahead of his time too.  He saw that using only one type of martial arts for every situation was not the way to go so he developed his own kind of mixed martial arts.  30 years later mix martial arts fighting is one of the most popular sports everywhere.

I don’t know, I don’t think there will ever be another Asian who will even come close to Bruce Lee’s coolness.  The guy is a legend.