Pretending to Care About the Less Fortunate

People will generally tell you that they want world peace and for every human being on this planet to not live in deplorable conditions.  It seems like the right thing to say because saying the opposite would make you sound like an asshole.  As always, our words hardly ever match our actions. The amount of money that most of us donate to any type of charity or to bums on the street is laughable in comparison to the money we spend on ourselves.  We only want the less fortunate to prosper if it doesn’t affect our preferred lifestyle.

For a while now there’s been much discussion about the lack of decent paying jobs because of outsourcing and immigration. Think of it this way…if jobs have been taken away to give to the poor in another country then it’s one step closer to ending poverty.  I mean real poverty not, “I’m so poor, I haven’t gone on vacation in 2 years.”  But people don’t care because they want their scheduled unionized coffee break and $60,000 a year salary for doing what an immigrant can do in 2 months.

Canada has sent $5-million worth of aid to Nepal which I guess is supposed to be a worthy amount.  I don’t know.  $5-million only equals to 500,000 people donating $10 each.  Maybe it is a lot of money but it probably pales in comparison to the amount of money the country spends on coffee everyday.

Each of us like to think we are good people when we donate $100 a year to any charitable organization but all that really is for most people is a way to buy a ‘good person certificate.’  If most people donate nothing then your $100 puts you on top of them.  Many people would say they are too broke to donate anything but that’s because they donate all their money to themselves and their fat asses.  Think of all the shit that you spent your money on.  To you, all of that was more important than giving the money to someone else less fortunate.

Often times you will hear about celebrities donating large amounts of money to charitable organizations.  That’s their way of one-upping their buddies.  Anyone in their circle can buy a mansion or a Bentley so the only way they can appear better than the person beside them is to look like a nicer person.  Angelia Jolie trumped all of them by adopting a third world Asian kid.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to come off as self-righteous.  I haven’t donated crap all in my lifetime.  I’ve given a dollar to bums here and there, $3 to Wikipedia and the loose change I get from buying sausage & egg mcmuffins to the Ronald McDonald charity.  I’m a piece of shit like you.  I obviously don’t care much about poor strangers.  Even if I donate $100 for aid in Nepal, I’m still a cheap son of a bitch.

I don’t think people who don’t donate to charities are bad people.  But let’s not play pretend.  We obviously don’t give a shit about anyone but ourselves.  For all of those people who spend most of their time doing humanitarian work in or outside of their country…you give a shit.  For those of you who donate a sizable amount of your income to charity…you give a shit.  For everyone else…you don’t give a shit.

Metallica in Vancouver 2012

This is going to be my unprofessional review of the August 25th Metallica show in Vancouver. I went to the second of 2 shows at Rogers Arena on Saturday and ya, ummmmm… it was super kick ass.  Best concert I have ever been to and I’m almost certain the best I will ever see.  It was the concert of all concerts.  If you ever wanted to see a rock concert just for the experience that would have been the one.

I think the reason why it was so freaking awesome was because for whatever reason Metallica decided to film the Vancouver shows for their 3D movie so they had to go all out and my goodness they went all out.

Show was suppose to start at 7pm but it didn’t get going until 8:30.  They wanted everyone seated and that wasn’t going to happen at 7pm cause everyone gets all beer crazy.  $8.50 for a beer!  That’s like an all time high price.

As we went in one of my friends got searched and inside his cigarette pack he had a few joints.  That got thrown out but luckily for them our other friend had one on him.  Not sure why they only searched the one friend.  Must have looked like an asshole or something.

The opening act was some dude who I think was suppose to be some sort of stand up comic or someone to get the crowd all reved up.  I guess he was alright.  It was somewhat entertaining.  He brought a 12 year old on stage for some shits and giggles.  I thought that was kind of fun.  I’m sure the kid pissed his pants with joy.

Once Metallica came on it went nuts of course.  They had a couple very sophisticated cameras on huge metal arms going back and forth around the arena all night.  I flashed my tits but I don’t think it will make it to the movie.  I think my nipples are too small.

The stage was this huge platform and Metallica played all around it for all angles of the arena.  The pyrotechnics were pretty rad and they had giant props from some of the album covers like the blindfolded statue, the toilet with the thingy coming out of it, coffins and a bunch of crosses coming out of the stage.  Trust me, I’m not doing it much justice with my lame description.  If you saw it you’d be in awe.

They played a lot of the favourites like Fuel, One, Enter Sandman, Nothing Else Matters and quite a few more.  But ya the stage work was crazy.  They had a stage crew on doing stuff all the time while the show was going on.  There was so much stuff going on.

I’m somewhat ashamed to say this but I was high on something and ya, it made the show even more spectacular.  I can’t say I regret doing it either though.  The row behind me had some cool people I interacted with all night.  Oh crap, how can I forget to mention this.  2 rows behind me was a chick who decided to take off her top and exposed her tits for quite a decent amount of time.  She was pretty sexy too and I must admit she had a nice pair.  I must sound like a sicko.  I’m just a guy who was high and likes titties.  So sue me.




Slash in Vancouver 2012

Saturday I was at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre watching……..Slash!  Guitarist from the original Guns n’ Roses for those of you who don’t know.  If you didn’t know that then you’re probably kind of young so you might know him from Guitar Hero 3.  Yes, it was awesome!  I was row 10 in the center.  Wicked seat.  Sound was awesome and Slash was awesomer.  Played a lot of GNR favourites like, It’s So Easy, Sweet Child O’Mine, Paradise City, Mr. Brownstone and I’m on the “Nightrain!”

Todd Kerns who is the bassist sang a couple songs and he can freaking sing.  I’m like one of the biggest Slash fans out there.  I’ve seen him 4 times in Vancouver and 2 times in Washington.  I’m a borderline groupie.  I have his toy figures, all the albums, videos and I’ve dressed up as him on Halloween like 3 times.  I don’t know, I’m just in love with his guitar playing.

After the concert I searched for something to eat but had a lack of choices cause it was getting late.  I reluctantly settled for A & W and bought 2 Mozzas for $6 and got them to pack one to go.  Unfortunately, the second one didn’t go anywhere except down my food tunnel.  I guess I was feeling daring cause it was Saturday night.

Ya man, he ripped it up.  I wonder if any ladies showed their titties.  I would have.