Slash in Vancouver

I am absolutely convinced that it is not possible to have any vivid memories from a concert.  I try my best to capture a moment so I can take something home with me but it doesn’t happen.  It’s not the drugs or alcohol either that cause this failure because I have gone to concerts sober as well.  


I didn’t even know there was a Hard Rock franchise here. It’s a casino/hotel with a theatre.

This picture was taken after the concert was over but before the concert it would have been the same picture with a brighter sky.  They tell you the concert starts at 8pm but it never really does until an hour later.  For that hour or 2 before people just drink alcohol. I went into the casino to get a beer.  $7.50 for a bottle of Heineken!  I didn’t care how much cleavage she was showing, I wasn’t going to throw anything in her tip jar. For what?  Handing me a bottle of overpriced beer?  Plus I knew I wasn’t going back.  

After doing a random check in my pockets, I got that feeling that you get when you think you lost your wallet.  Except I don’t carry a wallet but I didn’t feel my car keys.  I felt like an idiot because I had just arrived 10 minutes ago.  I know I had them because I remember arming my car.  I remember thinking how amazing it was that I remembered that I armed my car.  But even more amazing is that the lost and found already had my keys in their possession.  

I just ended up walking around for a bit, looking at old people gamble their kids inheritance away before I decided to go into the concert. 

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There were a lot slutty looking middle aged white women who probably used to touch themselves while thinking about Axl Rose.  The thing I hate about being at a standing section with a bunch of white people is that I’m shorter than most of them. There should be a handicap section for me somewhere near the front.  I am kind of exaggerating for entertainment purposes because the view was still pretty decent.  I think if I was tall, I would still complain because I would feel bad for standing in front of people.   


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He is almost godlike in that he gets to always wear a top hat and sunglasses everywhere he goes.

Halfway through the concert I was really high and for whatever reason it seemed like everyone else was having more fun too. I don’t remember anything very vividly from the concert but I remember that I was there and I had a really good time.   

I will leave you with this short video clip that I took

Walking 10 km For Shits and Giggles and a Crepe


The above excerpt from Mike Tyson’s autobiography was what inspired me to walk 10 km (6 miles) on Saturday.  I had a craving for a crepe but the only places in this city that offer crepes are in the nicer part of town.  I guess crepes aren’t for low class people.  My plan was to take the train down there and walk it back.  It’s a 10-15 minute train ride and about 2.5 hour walk back. While on the train ride this seemingly sexyish girl got on the train.  She was about 5 foot 2 inches, wearing a nice dress, big sunglasses and she was showing off her tattoos on both arms.  I started staring at her hand cause it was the closest part to me because she was holding the pole.  Her hand looked pretty big.  I was thinking if she punched me, she could inflict some decent pain.  They looked like hammers.  I mean, they weren’t just big, they looked strong too.  I started looking at her tattoos after and I noticed how hairy her arms were but the size of her forearms caught my attention.  Again, they weren’t just big, they looked dense too.  Hmmm..I think she is a he!  Trickery.  I started staring at his breasts and that pretty much convinced me she was a he because she/he was pretty flat chested.  No picture.

It was a busy day downtown.  Sunny weather, lots of people out, street bands, food trucks.  You know, a scene for good times for normal people. So I get this Nutella and Banana crepe but also get upsold to add nuts and Grand Marnier.  High class!  It was a rip off.


Looks kind of gross.  Sorry.  I felt kind of bad for throwing down so much sugar in one sitting but it motivated me to walk.  I pretty much took off after eating my crepe.


I could not agree more



A few dogs jumped over this ledge so they put up a sign



This is where the rainbow ends


This is a house made from what looks like a desk, 2 pallets and other stuff.



A couch made of something with colourful tiles glued on.

A couch made of something with colourful tiles glued on.


It is kind of cool how there are random water fountains.  Well, it is not that random really since it is on a bike path.

It is kind of cool how there are random water fountains. Well, it is not that random really since it is on a bike path.



Another one and it is midget/dog friendly.


You can pick up some donuts after buying a plunger and use that plunger after eating the donuts

You can pick up some donuts after buying a plunger and use that plunger after eating the donuts


This walk was good exercise but it was also very meditative.  After half an hour to an hour, you start to feel a physical effect.  You keep walking and it becomes difficult for any negative thoughts to penetrate your mind.  You might think of them but they don’t stick around.  They say exercising is a very good anti-depressant and it makes sense.  Unfortunately, it’s easier to pop a pill than it is to do moderate exercise all day.  I always feel good after exercising.  I think I’d like to do this more often.  I like it because it’s a brainless activity, free, enjoyable and it gives me justification to eat something not so good for me beforehand.


Elisa Lam’s Strange Death

“You’re always haunted by the idea you’re wasting your life.”

— Chuck Palahniuk

The story of 21 year old Elisa Lam’s death is a chilling one.  I was reading about it a couple nights ago and it made me afraid to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.  My mind started wandering and I was scared something out of a horror movie would pop up in the mirror.  I’m such a pussy.  However, I did end up brushing my teeth.

If you want to look it up, you can find the story very easily.  The short version is, she travelled to California from Vancouver for reasons unknown but it wasn’t a secret at all.  Friends and family knew about it and she posted updates about her trip on the internet.  Not too long after she arrived in LA, she was found dead on the roof of the hotel she was staying at in one of the water supply tanks.

It has been ruled a death by accidental drowning because there was no trauma found on the body and no drugs found in her system.  What they are saying is that she made her way to the roof of the hotel and then climbed into the water tank and drowned.

It’s really weird though.  Normally, to be able to get to the roof, you would have to bypass a locked door to the roof which is also equipped with an alarm.  The other possibility is to use the fire escape.

When they found her dead in the water tank, she was naked but it’s been reported her clothes were nowhere to be found or that they were in the tank.  Either situation is still odd because if her clothes were nowhere in the vicinity of her body then it would mean she climbed up there naked.  If they were found in the tank that would mean she took them off and threw them in the tank before jumping in.

To get to the top of the tank she would have had to climb an attached 10 foot ladder and then open the metal cover and then close it after getting into the tank.  I suppose it’s possible but she would have had to been very determined.

So why would anyone think she would even do something like this?  They are pointing the finger mainly at her alleged bipolar disorder.  I’m not sure if she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder or if they concluded this by viewing the famous elevator video recording where she does act very strangely for a few minutes.  I don’t know anything about bipolar disorder so I can’t comment if someone with that disorder would go to those lengths just to kill themselves or jump into a water tank on the roof of a hotel for whatever reason.

The quote at the beginning of the post was taken from her alleged blog and tumblr.  I read most of this blog and in the later posts of the blog she writes more about life and being depressed.  I felt a connection to her words.  She seemed intelligent but also disconnected with the people and ideas that she was surrounded with.  To be at that young of an age and so aware without much life experience is probably very frustrating.  It would just all seem fucked up.

I guess it’s difficult to conclude that it was a murder when there is no physical evidence of murder.  When ever there is a naked woman’s body though, it’s almost always murder.  If there was no trauma to the body, how could it be murder?  Did some guy cover her mouth and carry her up to the roof? Did she go to the roof willingly with some guy and then get dumped into the water tank?  Was there drugs involved but maybe the drugs could not be detected because of the length of time her body was in the water tank?  Doesn’t it seem more plausible that her body was in the water tank because someone was trying to hide her body instead of her jumping into the tank herself and drowning?  I don’t know.  It’s always easy to just blame mental illness because to the general public, mental illness can make anything possible.

This is the link to her alleged blog

Teachers on Strike….Again

Every time the contract for teachers nears its end, the talk of strike always comes up.  It’s always the same issue.  More money and smaller classroom sizes, meaning less students not less square footage.

To me it’s more of an issue of having the option to get more than it is deserving more.  Teachers in Canada make pretty good money for what they do.  The average is about $70,000 here in my province of British Columbia.  Of course this is not starting salary but it’s not the top rate either.  If you have a master’s degree and 10 years of service your salary is higher.  It’s not that the government is not offering more money, it is apparently not enough.  Teachers are asking for 15.9% over 4 years and the government is offering 7.25%.  I’d love to get that much of raise just for holding a sign for a few days.

What the teachers are doing is borderline extortion.  Our society needs teachers to babysit the children so that parents don’t have to pay for daycare.  It’s considered an essential service like Emergency Service Workers and Police Officers.  It’s really all it is, a daycare, cause we all know we don’t learn shit in school.  17 years out of high school and my aboriginal studies still have not done anything for me.

$70,000 a year plus benefits sounds pretty good already but on top of that they get about 3 months off a year.  Some of them say it’s not enough money but that’s because they took on a lifestyle they couldn’t easily afford.

If teachers wanted more money they should have went into another field.  Aren’t teachers suppose to be teachers because they care about the children?  All the teachers that I had were glorified daycare workers who helped perpetuate a system of close mindedness.  They didn’t care about anything except making their own lives as easy as possible.

The honest truth is that most public school teachers never set out to be teachers.  They went to university, didn’t know what they wanted to do and obtained an impractical degree where being a teacher was their best avenue to making an above average income.

If I was a parent, I would say screw this, go ahead and strike for 6 months.  I’ll give the kid the remote control to the TV, tell them not to go out,  study these multiplication arithmetic flash cards and read one page of the dictionary because everything else you learn in school is useless.  It’s just training to be a good slave when you ‘grow up.’

It’s rare that I side with the government but this whole situation is pathetic.  I realize teachers aren’t all to blame since it is their union that represents them as well.  It’s always the same story though.  People will always take advantage of any power they have.


Dairy Queen “Mushroom” and Swiss Burger

Yesterday evening I was laying in bed and thought about a mushroom burger.  There’s this burger joint, Wally’s Burgers, that has quite a long history here in Vancouver.  I became kind of excited cause I realized their new location is not too far from where I am.  I Googled it and the hours said it was open until 8:00pm and it was 7:15pm so I had time.  So I jumped out of my bed, into my car for a 10 minute drive to find out that it was closed at 7pm.  No fair.

The next closest reputable burger place was another 5 minute drive but they charge over $10 for a burger.   That’s no fair either.  So I decided to go to DQ cause it was on the way home and for whatever reason thought I’d be satisfied.  I ordered my burger ‘for here’ but they put it in a bag so I was like whatever I’ll just take it home.  I get home to inspect the burger and this is what I got.

DQ Swiss Mushroom Burger

When I get the feeling of being ripped off I often try to rationalize it and try to make myself feel better.  I couldn’t this time.  To me this was pathetic.  If it was any worse it would be a real disgrace.  There I sat staring at this burger thinking if I should just eat it or get back into my car to go get my money back.  I imagined myself eating it and being really dissatisfied so I drove back there.

Me: Who’s the boss today?

Worker: Is there something wrong? Is there something left out of your burger?

Me: Does this look like an acceptable amount of mushrooms?

Worker: All the ingredients are pre-portioned.

Me: Would you be satisfied with this?

Worker #2: Is there something the matter?

Me: Does this look like an acceptable amount of mushrooms?

Worker #2: I’ll add some more for you

Me: I’d rather have my money back

Worker #2: I’ll get some more mushrooms for you

Me: I’d rather have the money back instead

Worker #2: OK

Once I got my money back I took the burger and I threw it in his face and pushed a little girl out of my way as I left.  Just kidding.   I said “thank you” and left.  The funny thing is that neither of them would answer me when I asked them if they thought there was an acceptable amount of mushrooms.  I think they’re trained not to admit fault and not to apologize.  When I worked at a call center for a gigantic American corporation they taught us to never say “sorry” cause it’s like admitting fault for the policies they had.

To tell you the truth I don’t know for sure if the amount of mushrooms were considered acceptable or not since I don’t recall ever opening up my burgers in the past to inspect them.  To me though, it looked pathetic.  How could someone not feel like shit giving a paying customer such a laughable product.  If there were any less mushrooms it would have looked like the mushrooms accidentally fell into the burger.

This is the first time I’ve ever returned a burger at a fast food place or any place.  I’m easy going and let everything slide usually.  If my burger was cold or ugly looking I would have just ate it.

Mission was not yet completed.  I still needed to get my burger so I went to this other place which is a Canadian chain, Triple O’s and ordered their Mushroom and Swiss Burger.  It was better but a dollar something more expensive. $6 and change.


Nothing to get excited about but satisfactory.  No wonder why Harold and Kumar went to such great lengths to go to that White Castle place.  Harold is like the most famous Asian actor in his age group and below I think.  He’s not even that famous.  He’s like a C list actor.  I think math, badminton or table tennis have to become really popular in pop culture for there to ever be more famous Asian actors in Hollywood.  The idea is we’re not funny or sexy enough and can’t grow a decent beard.   The Middle Eastern actors lucked out cause of all the real life terrorism and wars going on with them.  The amount of TV shows and movies that revolve around Middle Eastern terrorism is a abundant.  Maybe that’s the real 9-11 conspiracy.  The Middle Eastern Actor’s Union were behind it all.


Metallica in Vancouver 2012

This is going to be my unprofessional review of the August 25th Metallica show in Vancouver. I went to the second of 2 shows at Rogers Arena on Saturday and ya, ummmmm… it was super kick ass.  Best concert I have ever been to and I’m almost certain the best I will ever see.  It was the concert of all concerts.  If you ever wanted to see a rock concert just for the experience that would have been the one.

I think the reason why it was so freaking awesome was because for whatever reason Metallica decided to film the Vancouver shows for their 3D movie so they had to go all out and my goodness they went all out.

Show was suppose to start at 7pm but it didn’t get going until 8:30.  They wanted everyone seated and that wasn’t going to happen at 7pm cause everyone gets all beer crazy.  $8.50 for a beer!  That’s like an all time high price.

As we went in one of my friends got searched and inside his cigarette pack he had a few joints.  That got thrown out but luckily for them our other friend had one on him.  Not sure why they only searched the one friend.  Must have looked like an asshole or something.

The opening act was some dude who I think was suppose to be some sort of stand up comic or someone to get the crowd all reved up.  I guess he was alright.  It was somewhat entertaining.  He brought a 12 year old on stage for some shits and giggles.  I thought that was kind of fun.  I’m sure the kid pissed his pants with joy.

Once Metallica came on it went nuts of course.  They had a couple very sophisticated cameras on huge metal arms going back and forth around the arena all night.  I flashed my tits but I don’t think it will make it to the movie.  I think my nipples are too small.

The stage was this huge platform and Metallica played all around it for all angles of the arena.  The pyrotechnics were pretty rad and they had giant props from some of the album covers like the blindfolded statue, the toilet with the thingy coming out of it, coffins and a bunch of crosses coming out of the stage.  Trust me, I’m not doing it much justice with my lame description.  If you saw it you’d be in awe.

They played a lot of the favourites like Fuel, One, Enter Sandman, Nothing Else Matters and quite a few more.  But ya the stage work was crazy.  They had a stage crew on doing stuff all the time while the show was going on.  There was so much stuff going on.

I’m somewhat ashamed to say this but I was high on something and ya, it made the show even more spectacular.  I can’t say I regret doing it either though.  The row behind me had some cool people I interacted with all night.  Oh crap, how can I forget to mention this.  2 rows behind me was a chick who decided to take off her top and exposed her tits for quite a decent amount of time.  She was pretty sexy too and I must admit she had a nice pair.  I must sound like a sicko.  I’m just a guy who was high and likes titties.  So sue me.




My place isn’t even 400sq feet!

So I live in a 1 bedroom ground level suite in a fairly new Vancouver Special house.  I’ve always known it to be small but when I figured it was less than 400 square feet it felt really small.  My bedroom and bathroom are normal size but my kitchen and living room are combined so I guess that’s where the smallness comes in to play.

There’s some good news out of this.  I used to think 500 or 550 square feet apartments were too small but it would be just fine for me so this could be in the cards one day if I ever purchase property.  Smaller places are more affordable but this Vancouver BS real estate market doesn’t make it easy.

I pay $600 a month with everything included except cable.  I think about finding another place sometimes but there’s some definite perks living here.

1. I always get a parking spot in front and never have to parallel park.
2. There is no one living beside me in the other suite so it’s quite.
3. It’s less than 10 minutes away from work.
4. I deliver stuff in my area so I get to go home for lunch.
5. It’s pretty close to 2 major supermarkets and 1 smaller one and there’s a handful of big box stores near by.
6. I don’t have any beefs with my landlord.
7. The landlord ain’t moving anywhere so I don’t have to worry about getting kicked out with short notice.
8. No one on this block annoys me or is crazy.

Wow, that’s a lot of reasons.  After some  years of living I’ve realized the grass isn’t always greener somewhere else and that you have to realize what you have already is pretty good and hard to find.

I’ll take you on a tour of my crib.


This is the view from my bedroom door




This is the view from the outside door.  Hope you enjoyed your stay here.  See you next time on Small Cribs.


Slash in Vancouver 2012

Saturday I was at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre watching……..Slash!  Guitarist from the original Guns n’ Roses for those of you who don’t know.  If you didn’t know that then you’re probably kind of young so you might know him from Guitar Hero 3.  Yes, it was awesome!  I was row 10 in the center.  Wicked seat.  Sound was awesome and Slash was awesomer.  Played a lot of GNR favourites like, It’s So Easy, Sweet Child O’Mine, Paradise City, Mr. Brownstone and I’m on the “Nightrain!”

Todd Kerns who is the bassist sang a couple songs and he can freaking sing.  I’m like one of the biggest Slash fans out there.  I’ve seen him 4 times in Vancouver and 2 times in Washington.  I’m a borderline groupie.  I have his toy figures, all the albums, videos and I’ve dressed up as him on Halloween like 3 times.  I don’t know, I’m just in love with his guitar playing.

After the concert I searched for something to eat but had a lack of choices cause it was getting late.  I reluctantly settled for A & W and bought 2 Mozzas for $6 and got them to pack one to go.  Unfortunately, the second one didn’t go anywhere except down my food tunnel.  I guess I was feeling daring cause it was Saturday night.

Ya man, he ripped it up.  I wonder if any ladies showed their titties.  I would have.

My Sunday

Decided to head to the Vancouver Flea Market to check out any cool am radios if they had any.  Since I lost tv I decided to listen to news/talk radio in the morning while I get ready for work.  There were quite a few vendors selling old ghetto blasters for pretty much retail price.  Don’t ask me how or why but that’s what they want.  One guy was like “this one’s got cassette and cd player.”  Am I suppose to drop my pants for that?

I have this assumption that they have their own kind of culture there and there own kind of customers.  Perhaps customers that don’t make it out to big box stores to see how much things really cost.  There’s some cool stuff but mostly crap but if you need an old cellphone or a charger that’s the place to go.

I did actually come across a nice vintage Sony radio that was at least 30 to 40 years old.  The guy was asking $50.  I’m a rookie to vintage radio prices so I didn’t jump on it but now I regret it.  Looking around on Craigslist and Ebay I have now discovered it was a good buy.  Like Mike Tyson said in his documentary, “smart too late, old too soon.”  I’m going back Saturday to pick it up if he’s still got it.  Cross your fingers for me.