Live Post….Metallica

It says “share my story here.”

I’m high as fuck. I took an MDMA pill 4 hours ago. The free drugs swam it’s way here afterwards. What? You going to say no to fentynal free drugs? I’m having a good time!
PS….i drank uncountable overpriced beers.

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Accepting a Blogging Award

blogger-recogntn-award

I’ve been doing this blogging thing for a few years now and have never accepted any awards. I don’t know, I guess I felt weird about awards for blogging. It just goes to show you that you might try anything if it gets offered to you enough. I hope no one offers me heroin.

Accepting an award gives me something to write about and it makes me feel like I’m moving one step away from being a cynical grouch. So thank you Steffietopia for your persistence.

The Rules:

  • Select 15 other blogs you want to give the award to.
    Do some digging if you must! Find those blogs. You cannot nominate yourself or the person who has nominated you.
  • Write a post to show off your award! Give a brief story of how your blog got started, and give a piece or two of advice to new bloggers.
  • Thank whoever nominated you, and provide a link to their blog.
  • List who you’ve nominated in the post.
  • Make sure to also attach the award itself! (You can do this by right-clicking, saving, and uploading the image above).
  • Comment on each blog and let them know you’ve nominated them.
  • Provide a link to the award post you created.
  • Provide a link to the original post on Edge Of Night. That way, anyone can find the original guidelines and post if needed, and we can keep it from mutating and becoming confusing!

How this blog got started?

I started a WordPress account because I was bored. I didn’t write anything until a year later. It started innocently with just short posts about nothing then life handed me the loner card which expanded my consciousness. The type of thoughts I was having could only be tolerated by a screen that let me impregnate it by using a keyboard. This has been my most consistent activity ever. Maybe us blogger friends can grow old together?

Advice to new bloggers

You might believe you have nothing interesting to write about but everyone has a personal story that is unique and people like to read about a life that is not their own. Pictures of your life are also cool. And don’t be shy, reply to comments.

Nominate 15 bloggers

If you’ve read this post then you have been nominated. Sucker!

So beautiful but so illegal

i have left and gone somewhere else.  i feel as if my whole life  never even existed.

i am in a world where i’ve only taken what i want.

the ‘baggage’ is left behind and not taken with me on this trip.

that luggage full of clothes is no longer desired

i picture someone painfully lugging that suitcase because they think they have to.

i get it now

if those fuckers got on this trip that i’m on they would never bad mouth drugs or even think to make something so beautiful so illegal

So beautiful but So Illegal

while on mushrooms

I never really thought about why they call it a trip but now I get it.  I get it.

i’ve been everywhere in no time flat. Forget proofreading because nothing looks as it should. The moment i think i am in reality i am taken back. i feel like all those sci fi movies. Avatar.

i’m fucking helpless to this thing

but i get it. yoga, indian sculptures…love…religion.. someone bigger than yourself.. i am so restless yet so lazy at the same time… i cried so many tears..not sure if they are from laughter. i am helpless.

those indian tattoos..i see them.   …… they are flowing on my skin like snakes. poetry. …i get it…i think…

sanscript or whatever yo   call it…  the indian writing..

all past conceptions of definitions are gone

no judgment even towards lifeless objects which at one time was just nature.

realizing that i’m high,,,,submission..submission

in and out not like the burger

love

peaceful\

my hand is not mine

realizing and not that what is happening is insane it seems.

reality is based on trips from this world.

just realizing that i don’t know what’s happening.

i was inside a world that was great.  it’s too bad you couldn’t join.

no jealousy…   i am where it’s at.. right now..

My Foolish Writing Errors

When I read over a post that I wrote whether it be from 2 years ago or the day before, I will often come across some kind of error in grammar, spelling or missing words.  I don’t feel so bad about some of the grammar and spelling errors because most of the time it’s obvious and there’s no confusion.  What bugs me is when I screw a whole sentence up by writing the opposite of what I wanted to say. It just spoils any greatness if there was any.

You can blame this on my lack of ambition in English class, immigrant family, regular alcohol consumption, recreational drug use or my poor proofreading efforts.  You can also blame the editor of this blog who is me at my best.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t show up to work very often and just drops in whenever he feels like it.  If I waited for him to look over my posts before I could publish them, not much would ever get published.

Although I do proofread, somehow shit just sneaks by me.  After writing a post, my brain and eyes are a bit tired.  I’ve found that the best method is to walk away from a post you have just written and then read it over again after some time has passed. It’s hard to care that much though when your reputation isn’t all that important.  It’s a bit of a loser attitude though.  I think ‘loser’ is the most used noun on this blog.  It’s equivalent to the ‘F word’ in the movie Goodfellas.

Eating by yourself. What Does it Mean?

If you feel too awkward to go out and have a meal by yourself at a restaurant then you are basically saying you need to have people in your life forever or that you don’t mind not ever eating out again.  I think subconsciously people fear being alone in life because it equates to never being able to go out again.

If you can’t enjoy going out by yourself then people will always own you.  You will let them get away with treating you poorly because you think you need them in order to live.  As long as they can sense that then they will continue to treat you poorly.

I go out by myself a lot and eat at restaurants alone.  Once in a while I will bump into someone I know and they will give me a perplexed look and ask me who I’m waiting for.  I tell them ‘no one’ and they don’t know what to say.  It’s like I just told them I came back from trying on woman’s underwear or something.

What’s the difference between eating alone at home and eating alone at a restaurant?  The only difference is that there are people there at a restaurant.  If that makes you feel uncomfortable then it means you think they are judging you.

Another weird thing about eating alone is that some people will do it if they think they have a legitimate reason like it’s their lunch break.  As long as it’s socially acceptable people won’t feel so ashamed.  But if it’s a Saturday and you’re not working then you have no excuse and that alone makes people feel insecure about being out alone.

To be honest, a lot of people will judge you poorly when they see you eating alone, going to the movies alone or anything for that matter.  They think this because they assume if you are alone it means that you are incapable of finding someone to be with you.  Of course this might be the truth sometimes but other times it just means that you’re not ashamed of being in public places alone.

I used to feel kind of awkward eating out alone but now I feel more awkward for the people sitting close to me.  When someone is eating alone at the table next to you, you can’t help but have those moments where you think that person is staring at you.  When that time comes, I am thankful that smartphones are available.  If I’m looking at my phone at least everyone else will feel more comfortable.

Hiding Your Highness

Once in a while I will get high because like most humans, I gravitate towards stimulation.  I did some drugs earlier today after dinner.  Every time I induce a MDMA high I like to write.  Most of those posts get pretty good reception.  After writing a post today, I invited myself over to a friend’s house.  It’s sad that the only time I seek out human interaction is when I’m high.

“Hey, can you get me a cigarette”

“Sure.”

There I am at my friend’s house with a couple of beers.

“Why are your hands shaking?|

“Ummm…hmmm… I don’t know.. I was drinking before I came here…ya, weird eh?”

We went to go eat after and my friend comments on my appetite.

“You’re full already?  You usually finish all your food.”

“Ummm..ya, I don’t know.”

I order a beer and he comments,

“Holy shit, you’re drinking a lot today.”

“Ummm..ya..beer tastes good today..ummm..ya.”

“You’re really not going to finish your food, eh?”

“Guess not.  Just wanted to nibble, I guess.”

The answer to all his questions and concerns was that I was high but no one is the wiser.

Coming down now but I’m at home laying in my bed.  One of the secrets to getting high is doing it earlier in the day instead of midnight.   If you get high in the late hours you will be up all night into the morning hours and that’s what really messes with you.

Our government brainwashes you to never want to get high.  They want you to hold back on all your urges so that you have no chance of deviating from being a model citizen.  Just go to work, come home and repeat for 40 years and then die.