How well you do in life and who you associate with comes down to what and how well you think. Whether your thoughts are rational or not, people won’t like you as much if you don’t think the same way they do. Life though, does not care if you think your beliefs are well-thought-out when they’re not because it will hand you what you deserve.

The term “think” is used as loosely as “good,” “bad” or “friend.” In order to claim that you think this or that, means that you should have at least thought about it. Many people do think but often only to the benefit to what makes them feel better. Not everyone thinks they are the smartest but they always tend to think that they’re right. People who are certified crazy think they are right just as often as anyone else. Some people are stronger than others and some think better than others but you can’t bash a person’s brains out with your words and claim victory. In the end they can just say, “we’ll have to agree to disagree.” Unless if you’re a certified expert in a field you won’t get any credibility for being more knowledgeable and thought-out in a particular subject than some chump off the street you’re arguing with.

I often avoid interactions longer than 5 minutes with some people because then I’ll probably have to hear what they “think.” The difference between conversing with a child versus an adult is the expectation. For some reason you expect someone’s thoughts are relative to their age. Thinking is like anything else…the less time you spend doing it effectively the more you’ll suck at it. All one needs to do to make themselves think that they are making sense is to create a weak idea that supports their theory and not challenge it.

When you’re accused of overthinking it could be because you’re overthinking or maybe that person just doesn’t like what you have to say. Everything can seem like overthinking to someone who doesn’t think. When you’re not thinking you’re blindly following.



Live Post at the Pub.

My unemployed colleague has just left the pub leaving me alone with my half a pint. It’s almost 3 PM, eight people including myself are occupying the pub. 

Minus 2. The couple of cougars are leaving after spending an unknown amount on lottery tickets for the last 2 hours. 

A lone man calls for “another.” The guy 3 seats from him around the bar is a regular. I see him here every time I pass by. He’s on at least his 4th pint. He’s neatly groomed with clean, well-fitting clothes. He doesn’t look like a loser.

A table of 2 other men appear to have just finished their shift of laborious work. One of the guys is using a flip phone. They don’t look like winners. That could be my future.

Baseball playoffs on TV is the main attraction today. One could use that as the excuse to sit around and drink beer all day. 

I’m the only Asian guy here as usual. All the other Asians are working or studying. No one ever imagined their life to be where it is. It’s always worse or better.

Homeless Writer

A local newspaper had an online article written by a homeless man living in the same city where I live. I found that arrangement to be interesting so I clicked on his name and it went to his WordPress blog.

On his “about” page he had written a short biography chronicling what many of us want to know about homeless people. So how’d you get here?

He had a career that sustained him for 24 years but he lost the drive to be able to do his craft well enough to satisfy his clients. He said he could not work a regular 9-5 job after for unspecified reasons other than personal ethics. It sounds like his brain just checked out and he said fuck it.

Most homelessness stories are plagued with drugs, alcohol and/or mental illness. He’s always been substance-free but many may argue he has a mental illness of some sort but there is no mention of it.

For some I wonder if homelessness was a series of baby steps and with each step taken marked a new level of acceptance and comfort. One day you miss a day of flossing and by the following year you’re brushing your teeth over a public water fountain.

You can check out his story with the link below.


Two Years of “Unemployment”

“If you’ve got nothing worth dying for, you’ve got nothing worth living for.”

While others are going about with the regular life or finishing up, I’m at a loss or unmotivated with what to do on most days. The motivation to pop out of bed or to perform the usual morning rituals doesn’t exist. The lack of drive to devote a life to working a job or catering to other people forces your imagination to work overtime.

The consensus of my thoughts is that people are psychologically surviving off the momentum of their beliefs that may have been running on fumes for the last decade. But then again what do I know about what goes on in other people’s heads because they definitely don’t know what’s going on in mine.

As much as I hated working a full-time job it fueled a dream that I would one day make an exit. Now I have nothing left to quit. To look at this situation positively my life can now be directed towards building instead of demolishing.

After 2 years of not having a typical job I still have zero ambition to find regular full-time employment. This might be due to the fact that I have been “making” tax free money through the stock market. Some may be disgusted with me dodging taxes even if it’s legal but in the words of the great Donald Trump, that makes me smart.

There’s significantly more money in the bank account than there was when I quit my job but surprise surprise, money alone does not make you happy. I was happier the first year after I quit my job than I am today. The detoxification from the daily grind was enough for my spirits to live off.

The initial significant gain from the stock market the following year produced euphoria and feelings of hope similar to when the first time anything happens in your life. The high has worn off and I’m back to my baseline happiness which is discontentment. I’m going to need a much larger dose to replicate that high. Like a bad drug habit I think the highs and lows of the stock market have messed with my brain. Still, it’s better than grinding it out at a job 5 days a week plus I’ve learned a new skill that will probably be practical for the rest of my life.

I’m waiting for the day when I’m convinced that the future is going to be mostly rosy. A cloud of anxiety follows me on most days punishing me with fears of perpetual discontent, and I’m not enlightened or dumb enough to vanquish them.

How can I not have some faith though since unexpected fortunate circumstances have  occurred in a situation when most people would have written me off. Hopelessness comes from the perception of what you believe to be true. Imagination and faith keep the lights on.






Poorly Educated

There was a 72-year-old legally blind man I was assisting a while ago. He told me he used to stare at the sun because he thought it was good for the eyes. This guy is someone’s father.

Growing up, the advice from the familial elders was to go to university and work hard. The vagueness of this advice is as ineffective as giving someone a fish instead of teaching them how to fish.

Like technology, advice becomes antiquated as quickly as fashion trends. Years of university can leave you deeply in debt with only a useless degree to show for. Working hard by itself is for suckers. If all you’re good at is working hard then you’ll be working hard forever.
Daily Prompt: Educated


Amazon World


Every time I order a product from Amazon I feel as if I’m selling out or contributing to the demise of society. The way it’s looking, Amazon is trying to take over the world. I can support my local big-boxed store but the only reason why I would do so is if I believe I’m helping local people keep jobs or because I hate Amazon. Then again, why should anyone feel sorry for big-boxed retailers when they put mom and pop shops out of business. When you can get the same thing for cheaper there’s always that voice that tells you that you can get it for cheaper. One day you’ll find a reason to give in to those voices.

Resisting Amazon will probably only hurt me in the end. 50% of American households have an Amazon Prime membership. If you refuse to drive an automobile other people are still going to drive. All that will happen to you is that you’ll lose 2 hours of your day, have wet socks and no watermelon because you didn’t want to carry it home. With all your efforts that polar bear will still end up dead. With Amazon’s recent acquisition of Whole Foods you can now get watermelon delivered to your home.

They’re also hoping to get those delivery drones working one day but for now they have their own couriers. He freaked out when my dog weaseled her way through my legs and darted towards him. She has killed before.