Food and Acidic Thoughts

In the recent past, Monday would have me stroll to the Vietnamese restaurant for 10% off Mondays. Also recently, they’ve raised their prices 10% after raising them 10% not too long ago before that. Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world. For $14.95 I would rather eat somewhere else that was nowhere near economical when compared to Vietnamese food 10 years ago. It has reached the point where I’m seriously considering making my own pho. Also, ever since COVID began, every restaurant wants a tip for nothing. “We don’t have cockroaches. 15% tip please.” A tip is another way of saying, “give me free money for nothing.” The world eventually removes uneconomical gigs such as overpaid union jobs and hopefully tipping jobs. At some point someone says, “okay that’s enough” and sends the $60/hour toilet paper forklift driver on his way home.

On Friday I tried some of that LSD that the young guy gave me. I took half the tab of acid and I think next time I’ll only do a tenth of a tab. Like mushrooms, I find it more interesting than enjoyable. During my trip I came to the conclusion that intentionally filling your life with misery is not the way to be. Unintentional misery is not much better either. Many young people don’t know what they want to do with their life but they figure anything miserable with a potential reward is better than nothing even if nothing is only temporary. “I’ll do this just for now until I find something better.” The issue with that thinking is that the path of misery does not lead you to something better, it just leads you to more misery. The crux of the matter is that people don’t want to do nothing but they also don’t want to try something that is seemingly risky. They want something in the middle which I call a miserable medium. As Elon Musk said, when you’re young you have nothing to risk so just go for it. Common folk who have never had ambitions to build space rockets don’t seem to see it this way. The biggest risk to them in their minds is if they don’t take the traditional miserable path they will potentially become left out from their group of friends and society. They won’t admit it because it sounds pathetic but it’s the truth. When the smoke clears they will use their kids as an excuse as to why they didn’t take any meaningful risks in life.

“The more neatly you fit into society, the less free you actually are.”

-Naval Ravikant

This has no relation to the rest of the post. I just find it amusing enough that I feel compelled to share it.

Betting On The Communists

I’ve decided that having outdoor plants on the home property are a waste of water especially the ones that need to be watered every day. My prediction is that one day there will be artificial plants available that look just as good but require minimal to no watering. People will say, “I like the real kind because I feel a connection when I water them.”

For your entertainment I’ll reveal that I’ve been adding shares of the Chinese company, Alibaba, in this price range of $213 USD. Chinese publicly traded companies have been receiving negative sentiment due to fear of Chinese government intervention. My opinion is that if the Chinese government favours their largest companies to be considered investable then they won’t enforce any of their communist tactics that will solidify uncertainty. This sounds “risky” but I’m optimistic that the Chinese government prefers the direction away from squat toilets and instead towards toilets with heated seats and water squirters.

Label me a gambler if you like, and in some ways this is gambling. Regardless, I need some day-to-day juice and I tell myself I have an edge in this stock market game. It’s not a huge edge but I believe my downside risk is limited. We’re all oddsmakers for ourselves in our everyday lives so it’s beneficial that we learn how to create them well and execute accordingly. If you’re a horrible oddsmaker for yourself then your life will suffer greatly. So if this stock plummets then you can refer to this post and comment that my mother gave birth to a retard full of hubris.

These Chinese/American tensions will last for the foreseeable future spawning American films where today’s equivalent of Chuck Norris saves the world from the evil superpower. “USA, USA, USA” they’ll chant while the new Chuck Norris brings back the jobs from China to the lazy American union worker. Americans will rejoice on company time and then take a well-deserved paid coffee break. That’s how the west was won.

For Fun Is Reality Without The Reward

Back in Oct 2020 I made use of my practice investment account for fun. My selection of stocks were based on the companies that I regularly use and were all purchased the same day. They are all well-known large market capitalization companies. It is much more comfortable to invest $100,000 in one sitting when it is not real money. To date, the portfolio has appreciated 19% since inception. When my investing journey ends, it’s entirely possible that my practice account will exceed the gains of my real investing account. Often when investors attempt to achieve superior gains, the result ends unfavourably. I don’t care, I’m still going to try. To the moon!

Accumulation of wealth favours rich people because they are more likely to be willing to throw money around. “Sure, why not.” To them real money is like practice money for most people. Sometimes all you have to do is to just do it instead of agonizing how it will not work out. One thing I learned is that pessimists don’t make money. Pessimists don’t make anything except pessimism.

Most people mistake risk for uncertainty. Someone that I know says he doesn’t invest in the stock market because he doesn’t know anything about it. He rides a motorcycle, smokes cigarettes and engages in illegal activity. The stock market is too risky for him though. It might be another example of how when you know enough people doing something then it becomes more comfortable to do it. Also, if everyone else is doing it then you have to as well. Otherwise you risk being left out.

Many people are comfortable with investing in property, driving automobiles, signing their life away to a job that they hate, having children and even borrowing from the bank to start a business. This is all considered “normal.” If you can’t see the multiple risks involved from these activities then you’re not using your brain.

People get married knowing that the divorce rate is half or close enough to it that they should be seeking a marriage counsellor before even getting married. But the stock market is too risky because their parents, grandparents and friends didn’t grow up thinking they were going to one day grow up, buy stocks and have their stocks create little dividends of joy. People tend to only have confidence in math, science and conformity. When you combine room for doubt with thoughts of financial ruin, you will get major resistance.

Many people know someone or heard of someone who lost their investment in a stock but that person more than likely bought a penny stock or a very speculative company. This would be the equivalent to marrying a seasoned prostitute with a meth problem and hoping for long-term success. For the last 90 years the S&P 500(500 of America’s largest companies. You may be familiar with many of them) has continually made new highs including this week. Will it one day go to ruin? I can’t say it won’t. But for now and for the foreseeable future, this stock market thing needs to continue to exist just like our sanitation system and electrical grid. Historically, not investing in the stock market in a prudent manner has been the equivalent to dedicating all of your resources to doomsday prepping in case the world ends.

I view the progress of a stock market as progress of human evolution and innovation. As long as humans continue to progress as we have then the stock market should continue in a similar trend. It is the slightly abstract design of the stock market that dissuades people from accepting it as a working apparatus. Uncomfortable perceived risk will have people automatically searching for an acceptable reason to not participate.

DISCLAIMER: This blog post is more of an insight on human behaviour and social conditioning than it is information on investing in the stock market which seems to not be suited for some people’s temperament. If you’re a Vulcan though, the decision to invest is an easy one.

Don’t Be A Pussy

“It’s hot as fuck” is what many people are saying and thinking around here. They’re also saying, “ohhh, tomorrow is going to be even worse.”

When the weather becomes extreme I can’t help but feel relieved that I will not be delivering parcels in it. Icy conditions are far worse because there’s an element of danger and anxiety. Heavy rainfall is preferred over temperatures in the 30 degree Celsius range. It’s ironic that dry temperatures instead of rainy ones cause wet underwear.

In the winter when I woke up to snow on the ground the first thought that entered my head was that it was a good day to quit this job. By not quitting, I’m not sure if that meant I was manning up or if I was being a pussy.

“You quit because of the snow? You’re such a pussy.”

“Why are you afraid to quit your parcel delivering job? You’re such a pussy.”

“In life, you have to do what you have to do. Don’t be a pussy.”

“In life, you have to take chances. Life is too short to hate your job forever. Don’t be a pussy.”

I’m going to use the word “pussy” a lot because I know “they” are going to make it socially illegal soon to use it.

Last night around 9 PM, there was an electricity outage for roughly 2 hours. I was sitting in front of the home with Baby the dog getting hunted by mosquitoes when I decided to get in the car and drive. We did a highway run so that I could excessively speed in a safe manner while listening to Heart. On the way home we drove by the movie theatre and I was delighted to see that the parking lot was mostly full.

In the spirit of practicing gratitude, tomorrow I’m going to have a nice sushi lunch approximately the same time as my former co-workers are lifting boxes in the extreme heat. Cheers to not having to wear thick polyester shorts in the blazing sun.

Garbage 2.0

While searching for personal belongings to sell or dump I became aware of how the survivalist mentality activates. Knowing that I haven’t used an item for 10 years wasn’t sufficient enough for me to convince myself that I won’t need it one day. “You never know, maybe this, maybe that, maybe I’ll need these blank CDs one day to ward off evil spirits.”

I dug up stacks of used and unused blank CDs, some of them from 15 years ago that contain files of photos or pirated software. There was a big box of DVDs, Blu-rays and CDs that I forgot I even had. There’s some good titles but I wouldn’t bet that I’ll ever be dying to play any of them. At least half of my clothing could be donated but I like that logo on that shirt, and that one too. Basically, I’m trying to get myself in a position where if I was forced to live in a van I would be able to fit all of my belongings in there. Perhaps there’s some foreshadowing happening here.

Also in the bag of unwanted items is a 1st generation webcam. It crossed my mind that maybe one day it’ll be a collectors item but it also crosses my mind that if I buy a lottery ticket I might win. The last time I used that webcam was in 2007.

Other items nearing the usefulness of a rotary telephone:

-16 GB USB 1.0 drive
-720p webcam
-2.4 GHZ wifi booster
-Sony 2 GB digital music player

They seemed like a cool idea at the time but not quite. It was a gift from my former employer for having nerd attendance or maybe it was my 5 year anniversary. I used them for like an hour in total. I don’t think I could even give these away.

My last home cleanse was 10 years ago when I also had a big box of DVDs which I donated to the library. The manager there was delighted with my donation. “There’s some great titles here. Think of us again please,” he said. I told him DVDs were going to be obsolete soon but he disagreed. If I brought the same box of DVDs in today he’d probably tell me to screw off and direct me to the garbage bin.

One of the used crystal ashtrays I recently bought is parked on my bedside. In my imaginary life the first thing I do when I wake is light up a cigarette to help me brace for the long day ahead at the factory. As I slowly smoke my cigarette hoping the seconds on the clock follow my pace, I remember that I forgot to pack my lunch. “Darn it,” I think to myself. Now I’ll be 5 minutes behind my regular schedule. Oh well, I won’t scrape the ice off the rear windows of the should be okay. Oh my, life.


There was a piece of dental floss stuck between my molars for 2 days that found its way out today. Of course I had to smell it and I guess of course it freaking reeked. It had been marinating in bacteria with the help of acidic saliva. It stunk so badly that I had to smell it multiple times. I suppose it’s similar to having a cotton ball stuck up your ass for 2 days — it’s going to stink really bad. The first thing I did after was brush my teeth and then rinsed with mouthwash. The second thing I did was walk to the supermarket to buy another bottle of mouthwash as I intend to use it regularly again.

The manager at the volunteer office emailed me today to inform me that I have reached 1000 hours of community service. Let’s see Jesus deny me entry through the pearly gates once I show him my credentials. I don’t think he can.

My recent behaviour is leading me to believe that I might give up on life sooner rather than later. There’s been an increase in consumption of microwavable frozen meals. At least with fast food I would have to make a trip and expend calories each time I wanted food. With MFMs I can stockpile them until the zombies come home and never have to venture out into the dangerous world for fuel for weeks. To add to this trend I have been contemplating supplementing with meal replacement drinks which don’t even need to be microwaved or chewed. What’s stopping me is that I don’t like the price for a 6-pack of Boost or Ensure. I believe it would be much cheaper if I just drink a glass of milk with a multi-vitamin.

Lately, I’ve been working but not working hard, on trying to not be such an ungrateful son of a bitch. People typically believe that they will be happy forever once they get what they think they want. In many unfortunate cases, people achieve their ‘dream’ by unknowingly signing their life away to a temporary high. Nothing will make you happy forever but many things can make you miserable forever. Hopefully, you like some of what you have, and if you don’t, hopefully you have a way out.

I like the following comment from a YouTube video:

I’m near their age. I’m 81 years old. One thing that brings you happiness in old age that is hard for a young person to understand, is however my life has played out, I got the chance. By the time you’re 81, you know dozens of people that died much younger, in their 30’s and 40’s and 50’s from accidents, suicide, rare diseases, you name it. So just by being alive still, my heart fills with gratefulness that I got at least 81 years to experience life. When I was young, I would have thought that sounded pathetic, to be so easily made happy that waking up and having chats, or reading the paper, or walking outside would fill me with joy. When you’re young, that’s never enough. You feel like you need to leave your mark and make a big name for yourself. But a funny thing happens as you age. You live long enough to see some people you know become big shots, became rich or famous in some way, but most aren’t made much happier by it, and some become lost when the notoriety fades. And then loving life for the small things starts to shift from feeling pathetic and small, to feeling wise and full. In fact, if life has taught me anything, it’s that the reason we’re here is to be present with the priviledge of each moment, as much as possible. Thinking about your goals tomorrow matter of course, and cherishing yesterday’s memories. But more than anything, I think what has kept me healthy and happy is appreciating the priviledge of each moment. When you’re a little kid, that’s how you think. You appreciate recess at school, or going down a sliding board, or a walk through the woods. DON’T LOSE THAT. That, whatever that is, is the reason we’re here. Being connected to small moments so strongly that they feel large. If you can do that well, you can enjoy being 80 as much as 40 or 20.

So, if there is an absence of a good reason to hate your life then don’t hate your life. If your life could easily be much worse then be thankful. Today may be as good as it gets. Something to remember when your mind starts spiraling towards negativity for no useful reason.

Friday Defeat

After eating a chocolate bar for dinner while laying in bed, I felt like such a loser I had to write about it. My previous meal to that was microwavable frozen macaroni & cheese. I just referred to the chocolate bar as a meal. I’m withholding additional information because I’m too embarrassed to reveal it publicly. My only redeeming action today was that I took Baby the dog to see an old lady who adores her. Baby doesn’t much like the elderly because they have dry and shaky hands.

While eating dinner in bed tonight, I was scrolling through this woman’s Twitter feed. She’s often griping about everything including her self-proclaimed shitty life. She’s in her 30s and poor. The future of this world could have a lot of her type roaming around. She hates capitalism and every 10 days or so she’ll ask strangers on Twitter for money.

“buy me a drink?”

“want to buy me breakfast?”

“I ran out of money. Anything would help.”

Every now and then I check out her Twitter feed mostly because it makes me feel better about my life. I’m less embarrassed to admit to this than the Doritos I ate after the macaroni & cheese. It may appear low of me to get good feelings from the misfortunes of others but it’s just another form of practicing gratitude. I wouldn’t get as much pleasure from this though if she wasn’t such a miserable human being who also blocked me on Twitter.

After seeing the many tweets from many Twitter users regarding not having money, I have concluded some thoughts:

  • Don’t not have money
  • If you don’t have money then you’re going to have to cut costs regardless of what you believe you’re entitled to

If you live in a developed country then chances are you have the opportunity to earn more than enough money. Often, it’s a matter of if your want for more money exceeds your desire for your present comfort. It’s a free country, you get to choose.

It’s been over 5 years since I quit my most recent full-time employment. Since then I could have studied and worked to be a certified plumber, as an example. You, also, could be a certified plumber who could charge someone almost anything when they take a giant shit and clog their toilet. “I bet you like taking shits. I’d bet even more that you would pay a lot of money to be able to do it again.” That’s how impolite you can be when you’re a plumber. “Pay me or forever hold your shit.”

Much of the woes that non-old people feel from their financial hardships are attributed to seeing the elders in their family spank the monkey their whole lives and be able to live a comfortable existence with a pension in the end. Life was really hard for a long time and then fairly easy and now not as easy. People have difficulties adjusting on the way down. So anyone want to buy me a chocolate bar?

Disclosure: The author owns shares of Twitter and laziness. The author may have also laid in bed for 3 hours after waking up in the morning.

Shots & Bears

In previous Canadian generations, people were forced to fight wars and risk getting their balls blown away. The closest resemblance to war for myself has been having to wear a mask for a year and getting a vaccine shot not in my balls. The morning of my vaccine shot appointment I woke up with a sore right shoulder. That same day I retired with a sore left deltoid from the shot. Sleeping has been slightly more difficult. Woe is me. Do you feel sorry for me yet? This is what trench foot must have felt like. Maybe in 20 years people will wear poppies on their deltoid to give thanks for our sacrifices.

Immediately after my vaccine shot they put a small bandage on me which reminded me today of how Uncle Bill thought bandages were for pussies. He didn’t use that terminology but it must have been what he thought since he always advised me to not wear one. “If you wear one of those the wound won’t scab up.” I took the bandage off today to find there wasn’t even a dot of blood.

With cameras everywhere anyone of us can get our 15 seconds of fame. If you wear a bear costume and steal parcels off of people’s doorstep, you’re almost guaranteed to get on the news. If you don’t want to be a thief in a bear costume then you can take a shit on people’s doorstep instead. If it’s not illegal to wear a bear costume in public then what’s stopping any of us from wearing one every day? If I had an employer and a bear costume, I would wear it to work and say to my manager, “if he can wear a dress and she can wear makeup then why can’t I wear my bear costume?” They’ll pause because they’re afraid of a lawsuit and bad publicity. They’ll call their legal department to confirm if wearing a bear costume violates any contract that I signed but they’ll be lost with the definition of “inappropriate.” Does my bear costume offend anyone? Probably not. It’s unorthodox but so was Marvin’s dress 5 years ago. I identify as a bear so go F yourself. They’ll be lucky if I even speak at all because on most occasions I’ll just roar.

Thrifty Conquests

If there is a duty to be fulfilled I will gladly get out of bed in the morning without any resistance. Much can be done while laying in bed with a smartphone including phoning stores to inquire about peanut brittle. My second call proved successful with the clerk at the chocolate factory answering enthusiastically, “yes, we do.” So I drove the 20 minutes to pick up 2 lbs of peanut brittle made on-site. Goddamn is this stuff good. I bought 4 bags to give some away to friends that I don’t have which means I bought them all for myself. I could gift them to some people in the neighbourhood but I don’t want them thinking that I like them or that I want us to be friendlier to each other.

On my way home I stopped by a thrift store to look for crystal ashtrays. I didn’t want to add to my collection. I just wanted to know that they didn’t have any available or that it wasn’t cheaper or better than the ones I bought. I’m a neurotic son of a bitch. While I was there I had a glance for something similar to my childhood milk glass. God was on my side twice today.

You wouldn’t believe what I also came across at the thrift store. I recognized a wedding favour from a wedding I attended over a decade ago. It was a shot glass with the name of the bride & groom with the year on it. Why wouldn’t someone keep a shot glass? It’s small and has utility. Does that attendee now detest the married couple? Did they die and have their belongings donated? Did this attendee pick up the shot glass and say, “meh, fuck em.”?

In other food news, I ate pork rinds for the first time yesterday and if I had to categorize them under “gross” or “not gross” I would put them under the former. They’re dry and gross which would go well with beer. If I had to guess they’re something poverty stricken American southerners eat. They’d go well with some sauce but you can say that about dog shit too. As unpalatable as they are I can eat them because I’m used to eating gross shit. The one thing pork rinds have going for them as a snack is that they’re super low on carbohydrates but so is dog shit.

Watching the El Chapo series on Netflix makes me feel like a pussy. These guys walk around life risking everything including having their eyeballs taken out and I think twice of jaywalking on a sunny day. It must be such an incredible feeling to go for it all while not giving a shit about your life. Sometimes the fewer options you believe you have the more freeing life is regardless of how poor the options might be. In our comfortable civilization, people voluntarily shackle themselves to safety only to sacrifice life. They tell themselves that they “made it” when in reality they made nothing.

New and Used Shopping

At the time of writing there is a premium meat pie in the toaster oven waiting for my attention. I had just been sitting around having trouble deciding what I wanted to eat in a world where you can have anything you want. This state of mind is similar to having difficulty deciding what to watch on Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, or YouTube. “I don’t know what I want to watch,” in a whiny voice is thought by millions every second of the day.

My money tree has grown out of its original planter and needed an upgrade. Planters are expensive. They’re expensive enough that they’re worth stealing from someone else’s property. Even on Craiglist it is troublesome finding one that is cheap and close enough that you’ll ignore its flaws. So I reluctantly bought brand new.

Planter: $20
Plant Stand: $20
Soil: $8

Leaving the tag in case I want to return it in 3 years for a store credit

Today I met up with a Craigslist seller to look at ashtrays. I seldomly smoke cigarettes but maybe I will have guests that will. Or maybe I just wanted to buy an ashtray for I’m nostalgic for the 1980s where an ashtray could be found on every table of the home next to a rotary telephone. “Hello? Marvin, it’s for you!”


I’m so nostalgic that I bought 3 for $10 each. The seller said they’re made of crystal, brand new and made in Germany but I’m not convinced. Before meeting up with a Craigslist seller I always ask myself would I still be interested if anything that could be a lie is a lie. Who even smokes cigarettes in the home anymore? I was thinking of who I could give an ashtray to for a gift but as I scanned the neighbourhood in my head there weren’t many eligible possibilities because hardly anyone smokes cigarettes. People have pussied out by engaging in vices where no one can see or smell them like taking painkillers and eating too much cornbread.

My plan for the night is to continue watching El Chapo on Netflix. It’s similar to Narcos and every other drug cartel story where the main character is an ugly Mexican or Colombian who is engulfed in a world of betrayal and bribes. I’m a sucker for shows based on a true a story no matter how loosely based on a true story.

This blog post is brought to you by needing a distraction while I wait for my $10 frozen pie to be heated.