Living with Your Parents Forever

Me: Why is it so shameful to live with your parents forever?

Him: It’s socially unacceptable

Me: Other than that?

Him: (Perplexed look to the sky) Nothing really.  There’s no real legitimate reason

That was my conversation with a 26 year old white boy at work.  On the internet, you can find the answers or at least different perspectives for almost any question you have, even something as odd as, “how to pee while driving” but nothing or not much on “living with your parents forever.”

You can find articles and webpages dedicated to the shame of having to move back in with your parents, when to move out of your parents home and temporarily moving back in with your parents.  Perhaps living with your parents forever is equally as shameful as tutorials on “how to be an adult man running around a primary school with his pants down” that even the internet won’t host such an idea.

I guess the situation that needs to occur for an adult to live with their parents forever is not very common.  The adult child needs to be or at least probably needs to be not considering a serious intimate relationship for their whole life and his father has to be dead at an early age or out of the picture.  As a male, there’s little hope of living with your parents forever if the father is still around.  The father is likely to outright ridicule you or will do so passive aggressively. Having your father rule over you forever feels more childish than wearing diapers.  You can root it to some kind of alpha male bullshit.  The father is always going to want to be the man of the house until he has to give up his reign when he can no longer stand himself up off the toilet.  That’s when you get him to sign over the power of attorney and send him to a geezers home.

Socially unacceptable for a male, more or less means that most women won’t accept you, so not living at home with your parents can be summed up to being afraid that no women will want anything to do with you.  That’s when you either have to accept your fate or do the equivalent of makeup for a woman which is lie.

This is my house and my parents live with me

My mother has cancer so I have to take care of her

This is just temporary while my mansion is being renovated

Hey, I’ll tell her the truth when I see her real face.

If your father is out of the picture and your mother has no one, it would seem like the right move to take over as the man of the household.  The way our society thinks they should live is kind of silly.  Most people struggle with money yet everyone tries their hardest to have their own space when it’s not necessary.  It’s ridiculous that there are people who live in a house with 3 or 4 empty rooms. The fact that this kind of lifestyle was very attainable at one time shows you how easy life was.  This is my office, and this one is our games room, here is the guest room and this is the room for junk.  All mine!

The other issue is that you might be causing your parents some inconvenience.  I guess some people still want to live life when they are in their 50’s and 60’s without having their kids around.  My question is, why even have kids if you want them out so badly?  If you kick them out then they’re going to stand over you and laugh when you are old and can’t wipe your own ass.

Society seems to be regressing because of how far a dollar can go these days.  If it continues people are going to have to stay close and help each other out.  New parents will have to live at home or at least have their parents babysit.

Of course there are other reasons why you wouldn’t want to live with your parents forever but socially unacceptable is the oddest of them all.  It’s like you’re in high school life and afraid everyone is going to make fun of you.  If your parents did a poor job of raising you then their punishment should be having to take care of you forever.

A Mutt Post

The first thing I do when I get home from work is pour me a glass of red wine.  I think about it during work and it brings a bit of joy to my life.  Most of the time I am in denial about my wine drinking.  I’ll be at the liquor store and only buy one bottle cause I tell myself that I won’t need to drink more than 1 bottle a week.  I almost always regret it and by mid-week I’m back at the liquor store buying more wine.  It’s stupid cause the busiest time at the liquor store is when everyone is heading home from work.  Plus it’s against company policy to buy liquor while wearing your uniform and it makes you look immoral in front of everyone else buying liquor (I work for a big courier company).  Although most of them are probably borderline alcoholics anyway.  It’s always amusing to see other couriers lining up with you.  You see each other and you get this sense of fellowship.  You both know what the other probably went through that day and how much you are looking forward to ingesting alcohol.

Last week I had a reattempt delivery to a residential address.  I wasn’t the one who attempted the first time but this older Japanese woman who answered the door wanted me dead.  She didn’t say anything when she opened the door, grabbed my handheld machine and hastily signed for the package.  I couldn’t help myself and asked, “is everything ok?”.

Her:  Why you give me this paper saying ‘final attempt?!?”.

Me: We only do 1 attempt now.

Her: Howcome!?!

Me: (I don’t even remember what the hell I said)

Her: (staring at me like I killed her dog and ate it) Why you ask me to pick up at your place?!?

I kept trying to be polite with this crazy woman but she wouldn’t have it.  Her English sucked so she resorted to giving me death stares.  I’m not even sure why she was so mad.  I think she thought I only did 1 attempt just to spite her.  I delivered to that house more than a few times before and everyone in her household including her always seemed great.

She said some other ridiculous stuff but at the end of it she said something in Japanese and slammed the door.  I have this feeling they weren’t loving words.  I wasn’t even upset cause I couldn’t understand why she was so mad.  Whatever.  Little does she know I live 2 blocks away from her.  I could egg her house and be back home in 1 minute.  Not to mention the next time I get a package for her I could shove dog shit in it.  I wouldn’t do that though but since she’s so close by I could possibly egg her house out of boredom.  Yes, I’m 33 years old and have juvenile thoughts that have a high possibility of being carried out.

A couple days before that incident I had a delivery and on the box it stated to deliver to the back door.  Alright, so I walk to the back and there’s no door except a garage car door. I walk all around the house and there’s no other doors besides the front.  The front door was open and the woman said, “I don’t know where the backdoor is but I know there’s people living downstairs.”  Sounded kind of weird but whatever.  I want to get this package to this guy so I knock a few times on the side window on the lower level.  No response.  I walk to the back once more and the garage door is open now with 2 guys standing by the man door to the house.  The one guy was pissed off.

“Who the fuck knocks on the window and wakes someone up?”

I went from calm to ready to bite this guy’s ear off.  I couldn’t believe he was yelling at me.

Me:  I couldn’t see your door cause this garage door was shut.

Him: Doesn’t mean  you should knock on the window and wake someone up.

Me:  Where should I knock then?

Him:  I don’t know but not on the window man.

I think they were boyfriend and boyfriend cause they both sounded kind of gay.  He was just pissed off cause I woke him up and the package was for his boyfriend and not him.  They also live very close to me.

People are idiots.  If someone knew where I lived I wouldn’t try to be confrontational with them but maybe I think like that cause of all the delinquents I associated with all my life.

Here’s some pictures for you

You can’t see it really well but she’s walking like 7 dogs.

dogwalker

This is a common statue of a lion that you will see at Chinese houses except this one has a customized paint job.  Like makeup.  It never lets anyone see its face without makeup on.

lion

Just after lunch a rainbow appeared when I was walking out of my home.  I’m sure those two dudes enjoyed it.

rainbow

Life’s a bitch and then you die
That’s why we get high
Cause you never know
When you gonna go

Another day at work

Mondays suck a big fat one.  So do Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and sometimes Fridays.  But Mondays tend to suck the biggest fattest one.

Marijuana dispensaries have been popping up everywhere on my delivery route and I’m intrigued with them.  I’m not a pothead but to be able to have access to so many different strains and edibles seems special.  This one place had little brochures outside so I grabbed one and put it in my shirt pocket.  An hour later I noticed what a stoner my customers must have thought I was.

budbrochure

I didn’t realize that it was sticking out like that.  Whoops.

The day goes on.  After checking out the address on one of my packages I realized it was for someone from my group of friends that I used to be much affiliated with.  I cussed out loud.  I already had a good idea of what the conversation was going to be like.  Luckily, he wasn’t home.  Unluckily his wife was and she took his place with the question asking.

“How are you?”

“Where have you been?”

“How are you?”

“You never come out to the gatherings anymore.”

“How are you?”

I’m serious. She asked me “how are you?” 3 times during our 2 minute conversation.  I think those words just came out every time she felt awkward or uncomfortable.  I’ve often seen it asked 2 times during a short conversation but never 3.  I’ve always thought of her as somewhat nice so I spared her the cynicism(truth) and gave her the short and polite version of my thoughts.  “I just don’t have any desire to hang out no more.”  She replied, “it’s like that when you get older.  All you want to do is sleep and work.  Everyone is too busy now.”    I guess that’s the ‘so no one feels like a bad person’ explanation but the truth is that no one wants to hang out.  It’s not important.  That was the past life.   People generally won’t let themselves even get close to the unromantic truth.  It’s probably better that way.

My friend’s wife and I went to the same high school.  She had 4 other friends in her group and they all married within the same year or 2 and had kids all around the same time.  I highly doubt it was coincidence.  It was like copying a storybook life.  I think when we’re young we’re always aiming for some kind of storybook kind of life.  We can usually mimic the first few chapters with glee but the rest of the story often becomes a tale no one ever expected.

There’s this feeling that you get when you see and speak to someone that you’ve known for almost forever and haven’t seen in a while, that can’t be replicated with the new people in your life.  They knew you in your past and you knew them.  No one you meet in the future will ever have that.  I guess it’s a bit of nostalgia.   Often though the nostalgia dries quickly and you’re back to being almost strangers.

I don’t know about these people working at this marijuana dispensary I did a pick up at.  It’s like they are super super stoned or they dropped out in the 4th grade.  They write down addresses that don’t make any sense and there’s this one guy who refuses to fill out the airway bill form himself.  I’m not sure if it’s cause he’s too stoned or if he’s illiterate.  But ya, they all seem pretty happy in there all the time.

 

 

 

 

Dairy Queen “Mushroom” and Swiss Burger

Yesterday evening I was laying in bed and thought about a mushroom burger.  There’s this burger joint, Wally’s Burgers, that has quite a long history here in Vancouver.  I became kind of excited cause I realized their new location is not too far from where I am.  I Googled it and the hours said it was open until 8:00pm and it was 7:15pm so I had time.  So I jumped out of my bed, into my car for a 10 minute drive to find out that it was closed at 7pm.  No fair.

The next closest reputable burger place was another 5 minute drive but they charge over $10 for a burger.   That’s no fair either.  So I decided to go to DQ cause it was on the way home and for whatever reason thought I’d be satisfied.  I ordered my burger ‘for here’ but they put it in a bag so I was like whatever I’ll just take it home.  I get home to inspect the burger and this is what I got.

DQ Swiss Mushroom Burger

When I get the feeling of being ripped off I often try to rationalize it and try to make myself feel better.  I couldn’t this time.  To me this was pathetic.  If it was any worse it would be a real disgrace.  There I sat staring at this burger thinking if I should just eat it or get back into my car to go get my money back.  I imagined myself eating it and being really dissatisfied so I drove back there.

Me: Who’s the boss today?

Worker: Is there something wrong? Is there something left out of your burger?

Me: Does this look like an acceptable amount of mushrooms?

Worker: All the ingredients are pre-portioned.

Me: Would you be satisfied with this?

Worker #2: Is there something the matter?

Me: Does this look like an acceptable amount of mushrooms?

Worker #2: I’ll add some more for you

Me: I’d rather have my money back

Worker #2: I’ll get some more mushrooms for you

Me: I’d rather have the money back instead

Worker #2: OK

Once I got my money back I took the burger and I threw it in his face and pushed a little girl out of my way as I left.  Just kidding.   I said “thank you” and left.  The funny thing is that neither of them would answer me when I asked them if they thought there was an acceptable amount of mushrooms.  I think they’re trained not to admit fault and not to apologize.  When I worked at a call center for a gigantic American corporation they taught us to never say “sorry” cause it’s like admitting fault for the policies they had.

To tell you the truth I don’t know for sure if the amount of mushrooms were considered acceptable or not since I don’t recall ever opening up my burgers in the past to inspect them.  To me though, it looked pathetic.  How could someone not feel like shit giving a paying customer such a laughable product.  If there were any less mushrooms it would have looked like the mushrooms accidentally fell into the burger.

This is the first time I’ve ever returned a burger at a fast food place or any place.  I’m easy going and let everything slide usually.  If my burger was cold or ugly looking I would have just ate it.

Mission was not yet completed.  I still needed to get my burger so I went to this other place which is a Canadian chain, Triple O’s and ordered their Mushroom and Swiss Burger.  It was better but a dollar something more expensive. $6 and change.

tripleo

Nothing to get excited about but satisfactory.  No wonder why Harold and Kumar went to such great lengths to go to that White Castle place.  Harold is like the most famous Asian actor in his age group and below I think.  He’s not even that famous.  He’s like a C list actor.  I think math, badminton or table tennis have to become really popular in pop culture for there to ever be more famous Asian actors in Hollywood.  The idea is we’re not funny or sexy enough and can’t grow a decent beard.   The Middle Eastern actors lucked out cause of all the real life terrorism and wars going on with them.  The amount of TV shows and movies that revolve around Middle Eastern terrorism is a abundant.  Maybe that’s the real 9-11 conspiracy.  The Middle Eastern Actor’s Union were behind it all.

 

My day at work

Somewhere in the afternoon I was driving and saw a guy walking with his dog without a leash.  It was some sort of chihuahua.  I was thinking how cool it must be to be able to walk your dog without a leash and was also thinking how paranoid I’d be walking my dog without a leash.  About 10 seconds later I see this dog just start running across a main road and just missed being smoked by a car.  The guy yelled for it to come back but the dog didn’t even look back.  I think it saw its other owner across the street and darted for her.  Damn that could have been a horrific sight.

Later I was witness to a crow chasing a squirrel.  I didn’t know that happened.  The crow was in the air trying to grab the squirrel with its claws but the squirrel managed to hide in a bush.  The crow stood on a fence post making crow noises.  I wonder if it was trying to call for back up.  Research on the internet tells me the crow might have been protecting its nest of eggs or baby crows.

After doing a pick up I jump into my truck, slide open my cab door and I was like….”shitttt!”   I had a nice view of everything outside cause my rear door was slid all they way open!  I must have left it open from my previous stop.    Luckily nothing fell out of my truck and the worst thing to come out of this was that I looked like an idiot for a few blocks.  Really lucky cause I was driving up this really steep hill.  Can’t believe no one tried to get my attention.  Or maybe they did and I was in space like usual.  I thought about it for a minute and the stupid thing is that I actually remember not shutting the door.  My freaking brain.  It’s never in the moment.  I walk around all day like a zombie thinking about crazy stuff, never concentrating on what I’m actually doing.  That meditating stuff works in some way.  When I feel that my brain can’t stay focused very easily I do this meditating thing where I only concentrate on what I am doing in that very moment and I make sure my brain does not float away.  It’s quite calming even if I only do it for a few minutes.  Below is the type of truck I drive.  3510276 is the prisoner number.

 

truck

Skitching

Have you ever heard of ‘skitching’?   I’ve seen it before but never found any reason to look it up until today.  I drive one of those postal trucks for work and this afternoon this not so old but not so young guy decided to skitch onto my truck without telling me.  ‘Skitching’ is when you hold onto a motor vehicle to get a ride while you’re on a skateboard, roller skates, bicycle or whatever.  In my situation this guy was on a skateboard.

So I’m stopped at a red light and just before it turns green I for some reason decided to glance at my passenger side mirror and I see this guy right next to my rear tire trying to get a grip on something.  There’s not much to grasp onto besides the wheel well and maybe the placard holder.  I’m pretty easy going so I’m like whatever even though I know this is totally not allowed.  I’m driving for 2 blocks before I have to make a right turn so I have to stop and get this guy off my truck otherwise who knows and I don’t want to find out.  I’m signalling but he can’t see cause he’s on the side of my truck so I yell to let him know that I have to turn (my passenger door is slid all the way open) and he can’t hear me cause he’s got his headphones on like an idiot.  Seriously?  You’re going to do something not so safe and have your headphones blasting at the same time.  It’s rush hour on a busy street too.

After being stopped for 10 seconds he’s finally aware that I’m not going anywhere.  He skates on and says “thank you” not having any idea that he could have ruined both our lives.  Well, at least his.  Usually I don’t look at my side mirror if I’m driving straight so it was almost fluke that I knew he was even there.  He probably wasn’t even thinking I was going to turn off so soon.   If I had not known he was hanging onto my truck like a retarded monkey I would have just whipped a right turn and who knows.  I could have just changed lanes and that could have been enough for shit to go wrong.  Just yesterday 2 long boarders were seriously injured here going downhill and then swerving to avoid an oncoming car but crashing into a parked car instead.  2 weeks ago some other long boarder suffered serious head injuries colliding with a van.

This guy should have hung on to the back of my truck just off to the side where there’s a handle he could grab.  Honestly he could have just got off his board, jumped onto my bumper, hung onto the handle and it would have been safer.  I bet you that guy or other skaters would have said something like he was watching and would be ready to bail if I turned.  “Us skitchers know what we’re doing.  You just don’t know man.”  How about if I test out this theory next time?

Skaters sometimes have this attitude where they think they have to live on the edge and show how gutsy they are, thinking it’s only their life at danger so no one else should care.  They don’t think about how much trouble it will cause the other person who is involved in the accident with them.  When I saw that guy hanging on my truck it instantly made me feel that I was responsible for his life.   Yes I should have told him to get off right when I saw him but it didn’t occur to me how dangerous it really was until after.   I guess I’ll know better for next time.

I Didn’t Vote….Screw you

Yesterday was the provincial election here in BC and the voter turn out was shitty.  52% of people in this province did not vote.  The first conversation I had this morning was with a guy who got on my case for not voting.  My reasons?  I told him what does it matter?  Everyone complains about the government in power no matter what.  They promise all these things and don’t deliver or end up doing something shitty out of left field?  So I should vote for the lesser evil they say.  Which one is that and how do you know?

The real reason is though..I don’t care enough.  Not that I don’t care about this country and its people but there’s no issues they are raising to inspire me enough to vote.  And what if there is, it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.  There’s nothing any government is promising that is going to change my life.  If 52% of people did not vote they must have not been very inspired.  People aren’t going to vote just so they can be like these other self righteous fuckers who vote just to say they did and that they fulfilled their civic duty.  They think they’re better citizens of this country cause they vote.  Cause they are taking part in this system that is the backbone of democracy.  “You want it to be like the Middle East?”  Of course not but that’s not the issue.  If it was I would vote.  I guess some people are trying to convince everyone that if they voted it would somehow make this country and our lives better.  Not seeing how that would be the case.

Maybe there are some reasons from a political party that I’m behind but obviously it’s not big enough for me to care.  Anything I care about is not going to change.  Bring in a 32 hour week and you have my vote.  That statement, “you’ve got my vote”…  you have to change issues that people care enough to get their vote.  All they are doing is offering a different trim on an automobile to get you to buy a new car.  “What?  You don’t think this or that is important?”  I guess not or maybe I think none of us really know for sure what’s good or bad when it comes to economics and other issues.

This self righteous 4 letter word of a person was giving me a hard time at the end of the day.  “52% of people didn’t vote cause they’re this and that and this.”  She’s pretty much calling me derogatory names to my face.  People think they are so fucking great cause they stand behind some age old idea that might have meant something before.   What the hell is democracy anyway?  The right to vote for 1 of a few governments that will suck?  She goes on to say, “if you can find one reason to vote for a party than you should.”  I can find 1 reason to do anything doesn’t meant I have to or should do it.  I can find 1 reason to punch you in the face.  I can find 1 reason to shoot heroin tonight.  I can find 1 reason to shoot my neighbor.  I can find 1 reason to run around in my underwear at a near by school at 3pm.  Maybe I don’t want to vote cause I’m afraid I’ll end up shooting myself in the foot.

It’s common courtesy to not push your religious beliefs on others but everything else is fair game apparently.  You know how all this started?  I decided to talk to a person.  I’m am going to retire from saying anything to anyone except, yes, no, maybe, uh huh, hehehe, oh, ok, you are right.  That’s how I’ve gotten by these last few years at work.. being a quiet, mind your own business kind of guy and it’s worked.  I never had to drag any shit with me.

“If you don’t vote, you can’t complain.”  Whatever.  Like complaining would get me anything anyway.

Stuff around my home

Pretty bored these past couple of days and I don’t got much drive to do anything.  Freaking sounds like depression.  I really don’t think I’m depressed though.  I just don’t believe in anything.  Denial? I think the list of symptoms of depression are long enough that everyone has 1 or 2.  The ones that got me thinking about it recently are loss of interest for usual activities and withdrawing from friends and family.  Isn’t it possible to just become tired of your usual activities, friends and family?  I never really liked what I usually did for “fun”, I just did it cause I thought I was suppose to.  The same goes for friends and family.  Maybe I’m not happy but at least I’m not lying to myself anymore and there’s some peace to that.

This was suppose to be a post about stuff around my home wasn’t it.  Let me get back to that.

 

This is a plant that has been deceased for 3 years.  Someone gave it to me but I couldn’t keep it alive.  It was just too demanding.  I promised never to love again until I was ready.

plantdead

 

This is my new plant.  I found it at the supermarket and the label said it didn’t need much light or water.  I was like holy shit, I can do this.  A year later we’re still together.  This thing goes weeks without water and I keep it inside where there’s not much light.  I wonder sometimes if it’s even real.

The ceramic Indian inspired elephant was something I got off Craigslist.  I love these things.  There’s nicer ones but I don’t know where to go to get them.  $50 for 2 of these.  He stays outside and guards my front door.

plant

 

 

This is my weed grinder.  I hardly ever even smoke weed but this thing is so cool.  It’s suppose to be a decent quality one too.  I figure I could keep this for life anyway even though I’ll probably lose it one day.   The operation of it is really smooth.

grinder2

 

This is the grinder taken apart.  It has 4 pieces to it.  The weed gets grinded and the finest particles go to the bottom.

grinder1

This is my radio I turn on every morning while I’m getting ready for work.  I listen to news, weather and traffic.  I don’t really need to listen to traffic cause work is only 5 minutes away but it makes me feel good to hear all those suckers are stuck somewhere in a highly congested route.  I don’t mean it, they’re not really suckers but it still feels good.  I get a little joy from other peoples misery, so what?  Not like I can do anything about the traffic.   I bought the radio from a flea market for like $50.  Ya I know, it looks like something you would have to pay someone to take away.  It’s made in like 1970 or 1980.  It’s not that easy to find a decent radio these days.  They’re starting to become extinct.

radio

This is my plant again closer to its actual living spot.  Behind it is my Buddha statue.  I bought this when I got all into Buddhism and spiritual stuff.  Got kind of boring.  Hahaha.  I’ve spent a lot of energy throughout my life looking for some kind of meaning or direction.  I even opened up to the Jehovah Witnesses and hardly anyone is ever that desperate.  They were so excited when I showed interest.  Now I can’t fully get them off my back.  They write down your address and give it to whoever is doing that route that day.  One day these 2 younger guys knocked on my door which is in the back of a house cause I rent.  I accused them of having my location on their list and they denied it.  They said, “no we don’t, we go to the back of houses all the time.”  I know they have a list cause when I see them walking around they’re looking at this piece of paper all the time.  This other time there was this older Jehovah Witness guy and he would come around during my lunch break.  He knew I was home cause my truck was parked outside.  I told him next time to come on a weekend.  So what does he do?  Next week he knocks on my door while on my lunch break again.  I didn’t answer and he never came back.  Hehehe.  When they found out where I worked they informed the Jehovah Witnesses at work and then they started bugging me.  I just act all grumpy when they start inviting me to things.

I like Buddhism better cause you’re not obligated to try very hard and they’re so forgiving.  Not sure what I will explore next.  Maybe crazyism.

 

buddha2

When you’re not feeling so great it’s good to get some exercise and fresh air.  The shitty thing is when you don’t feel so great you don’t feel like doing anything.  It’s like trying to get a job when you don’t have any work experience but every job asks for work experience.  The End!

A day on the road with my manager

I deliver parcels for a job.  Once a year my manager comes out with me on a ride along to sort of score me on how well I’m supposed to do my job.  I knew it was going to happen around this time of year but he surprised me yesterday morning.  I wanted to get it over with but I wish I had some notice the day before or something so I could make sure I wouldn’t be hung over for the ride along.  Lately, I’ve been slightly hung over most mornings cause of the red wine and that day was no exception.

The first thing he pointed out was that my parcels should be on the top shelf of my truck.  My excuse was that I’m not tall so I prefer the lower shelf.  That didn’t fly.  When you work for a big company they have all these rules on how you should do your job to execute as much efficiency as possible.   I was breaking rules all day but I’m not going to get into detail cause it’s probably boring as hell.  Here’s the short version.  Did not turn on blinkers when parked, did not shut window, did not lock door, did not shut cab door, forgot addresses, misplaced package and had to back track.  Those are just the ones he made me aware of.

He was telling me about his tenant who rents his basement and how he feels sorry for him cause he just works, comes home, watches TV and surfs the internet.  He tells me the guy doesn’t seem to have hobbies and is really overweight.  I guess that’s suppose to be the poster boy for loser.  The person we’re all suppose to be scared of becoming or being.  Lonely, unattractive, no wealth.  The automatic thought in your  head is that this guy must be unhappy as hell.  Sure sounded like my manager was thinking this.  I would have thought the samething before but now I think, who knows if that guy is unhappy or not. Maybe he’s in a better place than most of those people out there who painstakingly dedicate their lives trying to fit in with society.  The truth is the majority of the population are not attractive, not rich and somewhat lonely but put every ounce of energy they have to not appear this way.  That must be tiring.

Halfway into the day I guess he felt it was time to ask if I found that “special someone” yet.  People always have to work into that question.  You can’t just fire that question right away but it will always be asked.  I replied with something about sucking at standard relationships and not liking commitment.  He chuckled and told me, “you’ll find her.”

Later he was telling me how he’s going to see a Motley Crue concert and I asked if he was going with his wife.  “Nope. No more wife. Ex-wife now.”  I didn’t know what to say but I was thinking how I wish I didn’t ask.  Then I thought… what the heck?  He just got divorced at 50, after at least a decade of marriage but he’s telling me how I’m going to find that “special someone.”  I don’t know, maybe he just wanted to be polite.  It surprised me his marriage didn’t work out.  I don’t know shit about his wife or him but he’s always been a really nice guy with not much of an ego.  Best manager I’ve ever had in my life.  He seems like a guy who wouldn’t get together with a crazy bitch either and would always be a decent partner.

Two pieces of advice that he sent my way that I’ll never forget cause he said it in such a way that it seemed really genuine.

1)  Enjoy your single years.  There’s no rush to get married.  Once you get married it’s done.  All  you’ll hear is “yap yap, blah blah.

2) Be careful with your back.  It only takes once and it’s wrecked forever.

During the ride I asked him how much I would get paid if I demoted myself to a lower position with less responsibility.  He answered, “Don’t go lower. You’re supposed to go forward, not backwards.”  I suppose that’s the case if you are “normal.”  He probably thinks I’m retardedly abnormal now.

Having a more difficult day than usual at work makes you like your job more when it’s back to normal.  It’s always like that.  You can’t be thankful for what you have until it’s taken away.  Being thankful for the good things or not so bad things in your life for no reason is just fantasy talk.  You might as well tell a human they can fly if they flap their arms fast enough.  We’re always made to believe all things in the mind are possible if we just tell ourselves it’s possible.  Obviously can’t be true but there’s no science to disprove it like there is for chemistry or physics.

Caffeine is Cocaine!

Caffeine should be in the same class as cocaine!!! It was around 10am on Monday and I was looking for stimulation while working.  One of the benefits of being on the road all the time is that you can stop off at places and buy stuff.  I bought a medium sized Americano with no sugar added.  All I wanted was a slight jolt.  Holy shit, in about half an hour it was so obvious to me I was high.  I mean high like when you do illegal drugs or prescription drugs.

I didn’t feel safe.  Kind of paranoid.  I really felt kind of dangerous being on the road.  It was like paranoia and anxiety.  You know that feeling you got when  you were a kid walking somewhere and a group of loud and aggressive kids were walking behind you?  You just knew they were talking about you and it made your adrenaline pump?  That feeling! Interactions with customers felt so weird.  I was all smiley and something was totally not the same.

This shit lasted for 2 hours.  It was only after the 3rd or 4th hour that I started to calm down.  I think what I felt in the 3rd and 4th hour is how most people feel when they drink coffee.  Never again on a working day!  Screw buying illegal drugs, I’m just going to drink coffee to get high.  I felt like Beavis from Beavis and Butthead when he turned into Cornholio.

This caffeine stuff is like junk food and prescription drugs.  It’s not frowned upon to use them cause it’s legal and everyone uses them.  I bet if I crushed a coffee bean into a powder like substance and snorted it up my nose it would make me go nuts.  Caffeine is a psychoactive drug like cocaine and all those other illegal drugs that make you go “whoooooooo!”

From Wikipedia – “Caffeine is the world’s most widely consumed psychoactive substance, but unlike many others, it is legal and unregulated in nearly all jurisdictions. In North America, 90% of adults consume caffeine daily.”

It got me thinking about how addicted people are to coffee.  They will go out of their way during morning rush hour, every morning, line up, pay money, just so they can get their fix.  It’s just like going into a crack house to get crack.  Starbucks is like a crack house.  The mugs that they sell are like crack pipes.  Just another way to transfer the goods into your soul.  “I need my coffee.  I’m grumpy without my coffee uggghhhh.”  Junkie!!!!!  My mom’s a junkie.  My grandma is a 79 year old junkie!  They are all junkies!

You coffee junkies.  I’m on to you now.  Disguising your drug habit as a hot beverage and never admitting you’re high.