Living with Your Parents Forever

Me: Why is it so shameful to live with your parents forever?

Him: It’s socially unacceptable

Me: Other than that?

Him: (Perplexed look to the sky) Nothing really.  There’s no real legitimate reason

That was my conversation with a 26 year old white boy at work.  On the internet, you can find the answers or at least different perspectives for almost any question you have, even something as odd as, “how to pee while driving” but nothing or not much on “living with your parents forever.”

You can find articles and webpages dedicated to the shame of having to move back in with your parents, when to move out of your parents home and temporarily moving back in with your parents.  Perhaps living with your parents forever is equally as shameful as tutorials on “how to be an adult man running around a primary school with his pants down” that even the internet won’t host such an idea.

I guess the situation that needs to occur for an adult to live with their parents forever is not very common.  The adult child needs to be or at least probably needs to be not considering a serious intimate relationship for their whole life and his father has to be dead at an early age or out of the picture.  As a male, there’s little hope of living with your parents forever if the father is still around.  The father is likely to outright ridicule you or will do so passive aggressively. Having your father rule over you forever feels more childish than wearing diapers.  You can root it to some kind of alpha male bullshit.  The father is always going to want to be the man of the house until he has to give up his reign when he can no longer stand himself up off the toilet.  That’s when you get him to sign over the power of attorney and send him to a geezers home.

Socially unacceptable for a male, more or less means that most women won’t accept you, so not living at home with your parents can be summed up to being afraid that no women will want anything to do with you.  That’s when you either have to accept your fate or do the equivalent of makeup for a woman which is lie.

This is my house and my parents live with me

My mother has cancer so I have to take care of her

This is just temporary while my mansion is being renovated

Hey, I’ll tell her the truth when I see her real face.

If your father is out of the picture and your mother has no one, it would seem like the right move to take over as the man of the household.  The way our society thinks they should live is kind of silly.  Most people struggle with money yet everyone tries their hardest to have their own space when it’s not necessary.  It’s ridiculous that there are people who live in a house with 3 or 4 empty rooms. The fact that this kind of lifestyle was very attainable at one time shows you how easy life was.  This is my office, and this one is our games room, here is the guest room and this is the room for junk.  All mine!

The other issue is that you might be causing your parents some inconvenience.  I guess some people still want to live life when they are in their 50’s and 60’s without having their kids around.  My question is, why even have kids if you want them out so badly?  If you kick them out then they’re going to stand over you and laugh when you are old and can’t wipe your own ass.

Society seems to be regressing because of how far a dollar can go these days.  If it continues people are going to have to stay close and help each other out.  New parents will have to live at home or at least have their parents babysit.

Of course there are other reasons why you wouldn’t want to live with your parents forever but socially unacceptable is the oddest of them all.  It’s like you’re in high school life and afraid everyone is going to make fun of you.  If your parents did a poor job of raising you then their punishment should be having to take care of you forever.

Dollar Store Shopping

The Dollar Stores are the best places in the city for buying stuff you need around the house.  We must have been getting robbed all those years by the Walmart type stores who sell the same kind of items for 2 to 5 times the price.  Dollar Stores are like the Robin Hood of stores.  They steal the profits from big box stores and give to the poor.

The thing I like most about shopping at Dollar Stores is that you can kind of just throw stuff in your shopping basket and not get hit with a big bill.  It’s like heaven for the not so rich and cheapskates but also for people who don’t want to get ripped off.

Left to Right:

Cotton pads – for cleaning stuff

Firestarter – in case I need to start a fire  when SHTF

Sponges – cleaning dishes and stuff

Microfibre cloth – wipe dust off stuff

Dog treats – I see a lot of dogs while working

Twine –  part of my SHTF supplies

Gum – in case SHMM (Shit Hits My Mouth)

Matches – also part of my SHTF supplies

dollarstore2

Grand total $9.68!

dollarstore

The Dollar Store is definitely the place to go for birthday cards, audio & video wires, not as fresh potato chips, housewares, low quality tools and hardware, cleaning supplies and pretty much anything that doesn’t need to be high quality or fancy looking.  If I had kids I would bring them here and let them get anything they want.  They would think I’m the greatest father ever until they get to the age when other kids ridicule them cause of their cheap toys.

A Mutt Post

The first thing I do when I get home from work is pour me a glass of red wine.  I think about it during work and it brings a bit of joy to my life.  Most of the time I am in denial about my wine drinking.  I’ll be at the liquor store and only buy one bottle cause I tell myself that I won’t need to drink more than 1 bottle a week.  I almost always regret it and by mid-week I’m back at the liquor store buying more wine.  It’s stupid cause the busiest time at the liquor store is when everyone is heading home from work.  Plus it’s against company policy to buy liquor while wearing your uniform and it makes you look immoral in front of everyone else buying liquor (I work for a big courier company).  Although most of them are probably borderline alcoholics anyway.  It’s always amusing to see other couriers lining up with you.  You see each other and you get this sense of fellowship.  You both know what the other probably went through that day and how much you are looking forward to ingesting alcohol.

Last week I had a reattempt delivery to a residential address.  I wasn’t the one who attempted the first time but this older Japanese woman who answered the door wanted me dead.  She didn’t say anything when she opened the door, grabbed my handheld machine and hastily signed for the package.  I couldn’t help myself and asked, “is everything ok?”.

Her:  Why you give me this paper saying ‘final attempt?!?”.

Me: We only do 1 attempt now.

Her: Howcome!?!

Me: (I don’t even remember what the hell I said)

Her: (staring at me like I killed her dog and ate it) Why you ask me to pick up at your place?!?

I kept trying to be polite with this crazy woman but she wouldn’t have it.  Her English sucked so she resorted to giving me death stares.  I’m not even sure why she was so mad.  I think she thought I only did 1 attempt just to spite her.  I delivered to that house more than a few times before and everyone in her household including her always seemed great.

She said some other ridiculous stuff but at the end of it she said something in Japanese and slammed the door.  I have this feeling they weren’t loving words.  I wasn’t even upset cause I couldn’t understand why she was so mad.  Whatever.  Little does she know I live 2 blocks away from her.  I could egg her house and be back home in 1 minute.  Not to mention the next time I get a package for her I could shove dog shit in it.  I wouldn’t do that though but since she’s so close by I could possibly egg her house out of boredom.  Yes, I’m 33 years old and have juvenile thoughts that have a high possibility of being carried out.

A couple days before that incident I had a delivery and on the box it stated to deliver to the back door.  Alright, so I walk to the back and there’s no door except a garage car door. I walk all around the house and there’s no other doors besides the front.  The front door was open and the woman said, “I don’t know where the backdoor is but I know there’s people living downstairs.”  Sounded kind of weird but whatever.  I want to get this package to this guy so I knock a few times on the side window on the lower level.  No response.  I walk to the back once more and the garage door is open now with 2 guys standing by the man door to the house.  The one guy was pissed off.

“Who the fuck knocks on the window and wakes someone up?”

I went from calm to ready to bite this guy’s ear off.  I couldn’t believe he was yelling at me.

Me:  I couldn’t see your door cause this garage door was shut.

Him: Doesn’t mean  you should knock on the window and wake someone up.

Me:  Where should I knock then?

Him:  I don’t know but not on the window man.

I think they were boyfriend and boyfriend cause they both sounded kind of gay.  He was just pissed off cause I woke him up and the package was for his boyfriend and not him.  They also live very close to me.

People are idiots.  If someone knew where I lived I wouldn’t try to be confrontational with them but maybe I think like that cause of all the delinquents I associated with all my life.

Here’s some pictures for you

You can’t see it really well but she’s walking like 7 dogs.

dogwalker

This is a common statue of a lion that you will see at Chinese houses except this one has a customized paint job.  Like makeup.  It never lets anyone see its face without makeup on.

lion

Just after lunch a rainbow appeared when I was walking out of my home.  I’m sure those two dudes enjoyed it.

rainbow

Life’s a bitch and then you die
That’s why we get high
Cause you never know
When you gonna go

Another day at work

Mondays suck a big fat one.  So do Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and sometimes Fridays.  But Mondays tend to suck the biggest fattest one.

Marijuana dispensaries have been popping up everywhere on my delivery route and I’m intrigued with them.  I’m not a pothead but to be able to have access to so many different strains and edibles seems special.  This one place had little brochures outside so I grabbed one and put it in my shirt pocket.  An hour later I noticed what a stoner my customers must have thought I was.

budbrochure

I didn’t realize that it was sticking out like that.  Whoops.

The day goes on.  After checking out the address on one of my packages I realized it was for someone from my group of friends that I used to be much affiliated with.  I cussed out loud.  I already had a good idea of what the conversation was going to be like.  Luckily, he wasn’t home.  Unluckily his wife was and she took his place with the question asking.

“How are you?”

“Where have you been?”

“How are you?”

“You never come out to the gatherings anymore.”

“How are you?”

I’m serious. She asked me “how are you?” 3 times during our 2 minute conversation.  I think those words just came out every time she felt awkward or uncomfortable.  I’ve often seen it asked 2 times during a short conversation but never 3.  I’ve always thought of her as somewhat nice so I spared her the cynicism(truth) and gave her the short and polite version of my thoughts.  “I just don’t have any desire to hang out no more.”  She replied, “it’s like that when you get older.  All you want to do is sleep and work.  Everyone is too busy now.”    I guess that’s the ‘so no one feels like a bad person’ explanation but the truth is that no one wants to hang out.  It’s not important.  That was the past life.   People generally won’t let themselves even get close to the unromantic truth.  It’s probably better that way.

My friend’s wife and I went to the same high school.  She had 4 other friends in her group and they all married within the same year or 2 and had kids all around the same time.  I highly doubt it was coincidence.  It was like copying a storybook life.  I think when we’re young we’re always aiming for some kind of storybook kind of life.  We can usually mimic the first few chapters with glee but the rest of the story often becomes a tale no one ever expected.

There’s this feeling that you get when you see and speak to someone that you’ve known for almost forever and haven’t seen in a while, that can’t be replicated with the new people in your life.  They knew you in your past and you knew them.  No one you meet in the future will ever have that.  I guess it’s a bit of nostalgia.   Often though the nostalgia dries quickly and you’re back to being almost strangers.

I don’t know about these people working at this marijuana dispensary I did a pick up at.  It’s like they are super super stoned or they dropped out in the 4th grade.  They write down addresses that don’t make any sense and there’s this one guy who refuses to fill out the airway bill form himself.  I’m not sure if it’s cause he’s too stoned or if he’s illiterate.  But ya, they all seem pretty happy in there all the time.

 

 

 

 

Dairy Queen “Mushroom” and Swiss Burger

Yesterday evening I was laying in bed and thought about a mushroom burger.  There’s this burger joint, Wally’s Burgers, that has quite a long history here in Vancouver.  I became kind of excited cause I realized their new location is not too far from where I am.  I Googled it and the hours said it was open until 8:00pm and it was 7:15pm so I had time.  So I jumped out of my bed, into my car for a 10 minute drive to find out that it was closed at 7pm.  No fair.

The next closest reputable burger place was another 5 minute drive but they charge over $10 for a burger.   That’s no fair either.  So I decided to go to DQ cause it was on the way home and for whatever reason thought I’d be satisfied.  I ordered my burger ‘for here’ but they put it in a bag so I was like whatever I’ll just take it home.  I get home to inspect the burger and this is what I got.

DQ Swiss Mushroom Burger

When I get the feeling of being ripped off I often try to rationalize it and try to make myself feel better.  I couldn’t this time.  To me this was pathetic.  If it was any worse it would be a real disgrace.  There I sat staring at this burger thinking if I should just eat it or get back into my car to go get my money back.  I imagined myself eating it and being really dissatisfied so I drove back there.

Me: Who’s the boss today?

Worker: Is there something wrong? Is there something left out of your burger?

Me: Does this look like an acceptable amount of mushrooms?

Worker: All the ingredients are pre-portioned.

Me: Would you be satisfied with this?

Worker #2: Is there something the matter?

Me: Does this look like an acceptable amount of mushrooms?

Worker #2: I’ll add some more for you

Me: I’d rather have my money back

Worker #2: I’ll get some more mushrooms for you

Me: I’d rather have the money back instead

Worker #2: OK

Once I got my money back I took the burger and I threw it in his face and pushed a little girl out of my way as I left.  Just kidding.   I said “thank you” and left.  The funny thing is that neither of them would answer me when I asked them if they thought there was an acceptable amount of mushrooms.  I think they’re trained not to admit fault and not to apologize.  When I worked at a call center for a gigantic American corporation they taught us to never say “sorry” cause it’s like admitting fault for the policies they had.

To tell you the truth I don’t know for sure if the amount of mushrooms were considered acceptable or not since I don’t recall ever opening up my burgers in the past to inspect them.  To me though, it looked pathetic.  How could someone not feel like shit giving a paying customer such a laughable product.  If there were any less mushrooms it would have looked like the mushrooms accidentally fell into the burger.

This is the first time I’ve ever returned a burger at a fast food place or any place.  I’m easy going and let everything slide usually.  If my burger was cold or ugly looking I would have just ate it.

Mission was not yet completed.  I still needed to get my burger so I went to this other place which is a Canadian chain, Triple O’s and ordered their Mushroom and Swiss Burger.  It was better but a dollar something more expensive. $6 and change.

tripleo

Nothing to get excited about but satisfactory.  No wonder why Harold and Kumar went to such great lengths to go to that White Castle place.  Harold is like the most famous Asian actor in his age group and below I think.  He’s not even that famous.  He’s like a C list actor.  I think math, badminton or table tennis have to become really popular in pop culture for there to ever be more famous Asian actors in Hollywood.  The idea is we’re not funny or sexy enough and can’t grow a decent beard.   The Middle Eastern actors lucked out cause of all the real life terrorism and wars going on with them.  The amount of TV shows and movies that revolve around Middle Eastern terrorism is a abundant.  Maybe that’s the real 9-11 conspiracy.  The Middle Eastern Actor’s Union were behind it all.

 

My day at work

Somewhere in the afternoon I was driving and saw a guy walking with his dog without a leash.  It was some sort of chihuahua.  I was thinking how cool it must be to be able to walk your dog without a leash and was also thinking how paranoid I’d be walking my dog without a leash.  About 10 seconds later I see this dog just start running across a main road and just missed being smoked by a car.  The guy yelled for it to come back but the dog didn’t even look back.  I think it saw its other owner across the street and darted for her.  Damn that could have been a horrific sight.

Later I was witness to a crow chasing a squirrel.  I didn’t know that happened.  The crow was in the air trying to grab the squirrel with its claws but the squirrel managed to hide in a bush.  The crow stood on a fence post making crow noises.  I wonder if it was trying to call for back up.  Research on the internet tells me the crow might have been protecting its nest of eggs or baby crows.

After doing a pick up I jump into my truck, slide open my cab door and I was like….”shitttt!”   I had a nice view of everything outside cause my rear door was slid all they way open!  I must have left it open from my previous stop.    Luckily nothing fell out of my truck and the worst thing to come out of this was that I looked like an idiot for a few blocks.  Really lucky cause I was driving up this really steep hill.  Can’t believe no one tried to get my attention.  Or maybe they did and I was in space like usual.  I thought about it for a minute and the stupid thing is that I actually remember not shutting the door.  My freaking brain.  It’s never in the moment.  I walk around all day like a zombie thinking about crazy stuff, never concentrating on what I’m actually doing.  That meditating stuff works in some way.  When I feel that my brain can’t stay focused very easily I do this meditating thing where I only concentrate on what I am doing in that very moment and I make sure my brain does not float away.  It’s quite calming even if I only do it for a few minutes.  Below is the type of truck I drive.  3510276 is the prisoner number.

 

truck

Skitching

Have you ever heard of ‘skitching’?   I’ve seen it before but never found any reason to look it up until today.  I drive one of those postal trucks for work and this afternoon this not so old but not so young guy decided to skitch onto my truck without telling me.  ‘Skitching’ is when you hold onto a motor vehicle to get a ride while you’re on a skateboard, roller skates, bicycle or whatever.  In my situation this guy was on a skateboard.

So I’m stopped at a red light and just before it turns green I for some reason decided to glance at my passenger side mirror and I see this guy right next to my rear tire trying to get a grip on something.  There’s not much to grasp onto besides the wheel well and maybe the placard holder.  I’m pretty easy going so I’m like whatever even though I know this is totally not allowed.  I’m driving for 2 blocks before I have to make a right turn so I have to stop and get this guy off my truck otherwise who knows and I don’t want to find out.  I’m signalling but he can’t see cause he’s on the side of my truck so I yell to let him know that I have to turn (my passenger door is slid all the way open) and he can’t hear me cause he’s got his headphones on like an idiot.  Seriously?  You’re going to do something not so safe and have your headphones blasting at the same time.  It’s rush hour on a busy street too.

After being stopped for 10 seconds he’s finally aware that I’m not going anywhere.  He skates on and says “thank you” not having any idea that he could have ruined both our lives.  Well, at least his.  Usually I don’t look at my side mirror if I’m driving straight so it was almost fluke that I knew he was even there.  He probably wasn’t even thinking I was going to turn off so soon.   If I had not known he was hanging onto my truck like a retarded monkey I would have just whipped a right turn and who knows.  I could have just changed lanes and that could have been enough for shit to go wrong.  Just yesterday 2 long boarders were seriously injured here going downhill and then swerving to avoid an oncoming car but crashing into a parked car instead.  2 weeks ago some other long boarder suffered serious head injuries colliding with a van.

This guy should have hung on to the back of my truck just off to the side where there’s a handle he could grab.  Honestly he could have just got off his board, jumped onto my bumper, hung onto the handle and it would have been safer.  I bet you that guy or other skaters would have said something like he was watching and would be ready to bail if I turned.  “Us skitchers know what we’re doing.  You just don’t know man.”  How about if I test out this theory next time?

Skaters sometimes have this attitude where they think they have to live on the edge and show how gutsy they are, thinking it’s only their life at danger so no one else should care.  They don’t think about how much trouble it will cause the other person who is involved in the accident with them.  When I saw that guy hanging on my truck it instantly made me feel that I was responsible for his life.   Yes I should have told him to get off right when I saw him but it didn’t occur to me how dangerous it really was until after.   I guess I’ll know better for next time.