Thrifty Conquests

If there is a duty to be fulfilled I will gladly get out of bed in the morning without any resistance. Much can be done while laying in bed with a smartphone including phoning stores to inquire about peanut brittle. My second call proved successful with the clerk at the chocolate factory answering enthusiastically, “yes, we do.” So I drove the 20 minutes to pick up 2 lbs of peanut brittle made on-site. Goddamn is this stuff good. I bought 4 bags to give some away to friends that I don’t have which means I bought them all for myself. I could gift them to some people in the neighbourhood but I don’t want them thinking that I like them or that I want us to be friendlier to each other.

On my way home I stopped by a thrift store to look for crystal ashtrays. I didn’t want to add to my collection. I just wanted to know that they didn’t have any available or that it wasn’t cheaper or better than the ones I bought. I’m a neurotic son of a bitch. While I was there I had a glance for something similar to my childhood milk glass. God was on my side twice today.

You wouldn’t believe what I also came across at the thrift store. I recognized a wedding favour from a wedding I attended over a decade ago. It was a shot glass with the name of the bride & groom with the year on it. Why wouldn’t someone keep a shot glass? It’s small and has utility. Does that attendee now detest the married couple? Did they die and have their belongings donated? Did this attendee pick up the shot glass and say, “meh, fuck em.”?

In other food news, I ate pork rinds for the first time yesterday and if I had to categorize them under “gross” or “not gross” I would put them under the former. They’re dry and gross which would go well with beer. If I had to guess they’re something poverty stricken American southerners eat. They’d go well with some sauce but you can say that about dog shit too. As unpalatable as they are I can eat them because I’m used to eating gross shit. The one thing pork rinds have going for them as a snack is that they’re super low on carbohydrates but so is dog shit.

Watching the El Chapo series on Netflix makes me feel like a pussy. These guys walk around life risking everything including having their eyeballs taken out and I think twice of jaywalking on a sunny day. It must be such an incredible feeling to go for it all while not giving a shit about your life. Sometimes the fewer options you believe you have the more freeing life is regardless of how poor the options might be. In our comfortable civilization, people voluntarily shackle themselves to safety only to sacrifice life. They tell themselves that they “made it” when in reality they made nothing.

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