At the time of writing there is a premium meat pie in the toaster oven waiting for my attention. I had just been sitting around having trouble deciding what I wanted to eat in a world where you can have anything you want. This state of mind is similar to having difficulty deciding what to watch on Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, or YouTube. “I don’t know what I want to watch,” in a whiny voice is thought by millions every second of the day.
My money tree has grown out of its original planter and needed an upgrade. Planters are expensive. They’re expensive enough that they’re worth stealing from someone else’s property. Even on Craiglist it is troublesome finding one that is cheap and close enough that you’ll ignore its flaws. So I reluctantly bought brand new.
Plant Stand: $20
Today I met up with a Craigslist seller to look at ashtrays. I seldomly smoke cigarettes but maybe I will have guests that will. Or maybe I just wanted to buy an ashtray for I’m nostalgic for the 1980s where an ashtray could be found on every table of the home next to a rotary telephone. “Hello? Marvin, it’s for you!”
I’m so nostalgic that I bought 3 for $10 each. The seller said they’re made of crystal, brand new and made in Germany but I’m not convinced. Before meeting up with a Craigslist seller I always ask myself would I still be interested if anything that could be a lie is a lie. Who even smokes cigarettes in the home anymore? I was thinking of who I could give an ashtray to for a gift but as I scanned the neighbourhood in my head there weren’t many eligible possibilities because hardly anyone smokes cigarettes. People have pussied out by engaging in vices where no one can see or smell them like taking painkillers and eating too much cornbread.
My plan for the night is to continue watching El Chapo on Netflix. It’s similar to Narcos and every other drug cartel story where the main character is an ugly Mexican or Colombian who is engulfed in a world of betrayal and bribes. I’m a sucker for shows based on a true a story no matter how loosely based on a true story.
This blog post is brought to you by needing a distraction while I wait for my $10 frozen pie to be heated.