Pet Project

Just a few weeks ago I began bringing my dog along with me to see the old guy who I shop groceries for. Not surprisingly he likes my dog immensely.

Some comments from him:

“Please, bring her over every time.”

“I fell in love with her the first time I laid eyes on her.”

Every time before we leave he says, “Bye Beauty. Love you.”

I’m not sure how my dog feels about him hugging and kissing her. I doubt she likes it but she needs to fulfill a purpose in this short life of hers. While he was torturing my dog with what he thinks is love, I thought of asking him if he wanted a photo with her which he happily agreed to. Later that day I came up with the idea to have various people pose for a picture with my dog and then put them together in an album, I mean, a physical one like in the good ol’ days.

The constituents of this album will only include people who have shown a genuine liking towards my dog. I’ll make exceptions for any female who is above average in physical attractiveness or any celebrity even if they are ugly. I’m a shallow human being.

There’s only 2 photos so far in the album and I’m struggling to nominate more than a handful of worthy individuals. It’s not outside the realm of possibility that I would travel to have pictures taken with my dog. It can be like an adventure like the Craigslist red paperclip saga where a guy bartered 14 transactions from a paperclip to a house. My tale will start with an old guy and end with Oprah. I can do this because I have time but I can’t do it because I’m kind of lazy.

An issue with orchestrating a photo to be taken with Oprah is that the Canadian/American border is closed to travellers unless deemed essential. An alternative is to attempt to contact Canadian icons such as Celine Dion or Bryan Adams. In my estimation though, Ryan Reynolds would be more likely to accept my proposal. There’s a fair to high probability though that none of them are residing in Canada since America is much more kind to people with fame and money. Canada only guarantees 2 things in life: Snow and high taxes.

If I can accumulate an acceptable amount of participants for my project then I can proceed to write a short biography of each individual. I will likely need a number in the double digits otherwise the large publishing houses will not consider my work. Once a best seller, my dog will be famous and part II of, Everyone Loves Baby The Dog ,will include an assortment of celebrities with all of them being good looking this time. When you move up in the world you’re allowed to forget about the little and ugly people even if they have helped you to get you to where you are. In life, you can’t let the bottom feeders hold you back from living your greatest life. They only exist so that the dominant species can always feel better about themselves. It is said that, comparison is the thief of joy, but that only applies if you’re a loser. When you’re on top, comparison is joy.

2 comments on “Pet Project

  1. Lkvy says:

    Your dog’s name is Baby? Aw.

    Liked by 2 people

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