Some nights you search for videos of women farting and other times you might be interested what the internet has to say on people regretting reproducing. It seemed that most results centered around the testimonies of regretful mothers.
People have a tendency to say they’ll do things when they don’t have to do them at the moment. Just as common, people will say they won’t do things in the future but when the future arrives their former convictions don’t age too well. Young women can be found saying that they don’t know if they want to have children but about 85% of women will end up having a child. The odds say that they’re probably full of shit.
When you’re young it’s much easier to speak and dream boldly because humans especially when young, often have an optimism bias, meaning they believe the future will turn out to their liking. The reality is that a person’s desires usually don’t become reality because their work ethic, skill, discipline and ambition are not aligned with their wishes.
Most people, if they work hard enough will be fortunate enough to live mediocre lives of conformity. In order to conform effectively one must have children. Conforming in your 20s is easy. All you need is a shitty job, a few friends and deodorant. When a person nears their 30s and they’re not close to being a person doing what they think a person should be doing in their 30s they feel a medium grip of fear around their necks. They might abandon their ship of dreams for the SS Panic that guarantees them the feeling of smooth sailing for the interim.
In one of the regretful mother articles I came across the term, anti-natalism.
“…a philosophical position that assigns a negative value to birth. Antinatalists argue that people should abstain from procreation because it is morally bad (some also recognize the procreation of other sentient beings as morally bad).”
The idea behind anti-natalism is that there is more suffering in life than there is pleasure or non-suffering. David Benatar, perhaps the most well-known anti-natalist proponent, says that chronic pain exists everywhere but no one’s ever experienced chronic pleasure. Why force someone into a game they can’t win?
The sad reality is that babies are often used by adults to serve themselves, sometimes for almost nefarious intentions. A more innocent reason to have a baby is the life long desire to have a family. A less innocent reason is succumbing to cultural pressures. An even less innocent reason is a woman trapping a man, any man, to be with her because her age, social standing and possibly financial situation puts her in a perceived precarious situation. It’s a little suspicious when a woman in her 30s accidentally becomes pregnant with a man she hasn’t been with for very long.
I don’t have a strong opinion if people should have babies or not. Definitely some people shouldn’t. Whether morally wrong or not the majority of people are going to continue having kids. Even if one believes it’s morally wrong they’ll still likely have children. Your actions are not considered bad if enough people engage in the same activity. As long as the fear of not having children is significant then people are going to continue on doing so. Fear by far is the biggest motivator in life.