When I was a young adult I wanted a handout. Everyone I knew got something significant for free and I wanted to be part of this club. It was such a desire of mine that I schemed up a plan to purposely get terminated from my call centre job in hopes of collecting employment insurance. I guess you can say I succeeded but many would argue that success and employment insurance should not be in the same sentence.
By the time I received my first handout which I worked for, some of my friends were already on their second free automobile with all the trimmings of free insurance and maintenance. A few had received down payments for a home. No one paid for their own education. I was way behind when it came to free stuff.
When everyone around you is way ahead of you because they’re getting a free tow you might start to play the role of a victim. Some never even had to look for their own job/career. The hardest thing they had to do in life was show up and the second hardest was to stick their hand out.
There’s no free lunch though. Everything comes with a caveat. When your life is made to not be very difficult you will not have healthy self-esteem or self-confidence — you’re a fraud. You didn’t become anything you were just put there. The spoiled are secretly aware of this but live in denial that they might be a grown infant. They do what all humans do when faced with realities they dislike — they rationalize.
People like certainty and parents want certainty for their children. On paper it would seem as though babying your child until they have the means to support what was given to them would be the best path. Receiving handouts and choosing some safe career is a path that desires conformity. There’s no rite of passage when certainty is involved.
Something I’ve discovered recently is that in order to build self-esteem and self-confidence you have to make difficult but calculated decisions, walk in to a world full of uncertainty and have it work out. It has to work out though otherwise you’ll just feel like a schnook. When you’re given the easy path you never have to make difficult decisions. You don’t develop philosophical foundations for decision making because sticking your hand out never required any deep thought.