Lost with Stoners

In the beginning of the decade I was regularly riding in a moving vehicle with a few potheads. At first they were a bunch of new people to hang out with but I was finding myself there too often for no good reason since I’ve never been much of a pot smoker.

Your life is rarely a coincidence. Your position in life and the people you associate with can almost always be thoroughly explained. To me, we were a bunch of guys who were filtered out and met at the bottom. It was a concoction of working stiffs and former drug dealers that didn’t make it.

From what I gathered this union assembled on a regular basis because of boredom and not having anything else going on in life. If they dropped this then there would be nothing else besides loneliness. Often I would be in the vehicle and wonder how much more of their life would they spend driving around, smoking weed, getting something to eat and then drive around some more and smoke more weed into the AM hours. There was never really much conversation and once the weed ran out whether it was 1 PM or 1 AM the consensus would be to go home. I would also wonder what is this saying about me and what am I going to do?

You never really know what is going on in other people’s heads. Were they planning on doing this forever or were they planning on being on this ride until they find a woman? I’m not sure if they thought it was a sad situation they were in but never talked about it or if they didn’t think much of it. Being in your 30s with no plan and in the same position in life as you were when you were 21 doesn’t get passed off as trivial, does it?

It was a confusing time for me as my good friend had recently passed away, other friends were getting married but most of all I was still directionless with what I wanted to do with my life besides put food in my mouth. As usual once I fully realized I was probably doing myself a disservice I cut myself off and opted for isolation, red wine and writing.

As with most groups a disagreement had split them up which was probably for the better. Often what holds you back in life is that one last piece of comfort you’re not willing to easily let go of.


7 comments on “Lost with Stoners

  1. Social convention rules so many choices. I believe the culture of pot smoking has evolved partly in defiance of authoritarian rules. I’ve mentioned this before, but it seems the repressive rules themselves seem to contribute to the problems.

    Also, we have this mindset that people should get on a certain career track, family track, or other prescribed “life plan” early in life. it that path loses its “heart” many feel like failures and don’t have the social support to redirect their lives and tend to give up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • MrJohnson says:

      The illegality of marijuana definitely had a large role in the pot smoking culture. It seems to me that it’s more of a method of escape now and also another form of socializing. Many people I know only bother to reach out to others because of their pot smoking commonality. “Meet up and blaze” they call it.

      Sadly, the mainstream culture will probably always dictate how people feel about themselves and others. The ultimate goal will always to be to not feel alone. I’ve only realized recently how important having support is. Not so much in the sense of having a shoulder to cry on but knowing that your failures don’t sway anyone’s opinion and connection with you.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Mr. J, The pot culture is only one of many sub-groupings we see in society. There are bridge-playing cultures, for instance, and other groupings that develop around shared interests. It is a way of relating, especially for shy people who don’t have easy social skills.

        Yes, and social approval is important, but it’s best to balance that with individual integrity. How far are you willing to go for social approval? At what point are you willing to stand alone on principle, even if it means your friends turn their backs on you and the whole world insists on proving you wrong?

        Beware predictions. The idea that something “will always” exist tends to blind people to alternatives. Yes, the world seems addicted to predictions, probably a natural uneasiness about the future. It’s a dangerous practice though, according to me, because people become invested in being right, even if they are predicting undesirable futures.

        It’s hard to know how the pot culture would evolve if we lived in a more tolerant society. Our attitudes are so skewed by “rules” (both laws and conventions) that we have forgotten–if we ever know–what freedom really means.

        Liked by 1 person

        • MrJohnson says:

          When it comes to gaining social approval I’m not sure what is best for everyone. I don’t know if many can handle a life that is abundant in solitude and social nonacceptance. I believe that some, maybe many, are better off living a life of stress and misery in exchange for the appearance of competency.

          It’s funny. At first I wrote “always” and then I changed it to “probably always” because just like you said you never know what is possible in the future. Culturally, so much has changed in the last 100 years. Human behaviour…not so much. What is taught to kids at a young age along with technology are going to be big factors in shaping future human society.


        • MrJohnson says:

          And what’s that saying? Freedom is when you have nothing to lose.


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