In the beginning of the decade I was regularly riding in a moving vehicle with a few potheads. At first they were a bunch of new people to hang out with but I was finding myself there too often for no good reason since I’ve never been much of a pot smoker.
Your life is rarely a coincidence. Your position in life and the people you associate with can almost always be thoroughly explained. To me, we were a bunch of guys who were filtered out and met at the bottom. It was a concoction of working stiffs and former drug dealers that didn’t make it.
From what I gathered this union assembled on a regular basis because of boredom and not having anything else going on in life. If they dropped this then there would be nothing else besides loneliness. Often I would be in the vehicle and wonder how much more of their life would they spend driving around, smoking weed, getting something to eat and then drive around some more and smoke more weed into the AM hours. There was never really much conversation and once the weed ran out whether it was 1 PM or 1 AM the consensus would be to go home. I would also wonder what is this saying about me and what am I going to do?
You never really know what is going on in other people’s heads. Were they planning on doing this forever or were they planning on being on this ride until they find a woman? I’m not sure if they thought it was a sad situation they were in but never talked about it or if they didn’t think much of it. Being in your 30s with no plan and in the same position in life as you were when you were 21 doesn’t get passed off as trivial, does it?
It was a confusing time for me as my good friend had recently passed away, other friends were getting married but most of all I was still directionless with what I wanted to do with my life besides put food in my mouth. As usual once I fully realized I was probably doing myself a disservice I cut myself off and opted for isolation, red wine and writing.
As with most groups a disagreement had split them up which was probably for the better. Often what holds you back in life is that one last piece of comfort you’re not willing to easily let go of.