Forced Minimalism

The car insurance company informed me that my car is a total loss. I knew I was going to be 100% liable but I thought there was a 75% chance my car would not be a write-off.

He said, “you don’t have to worry about picking up your belongings. We’ll send them to the nearest centre for you to pick up.”

I replied, “hopefully I didn’t leave anything embarrassing in there.”

“Don’t worry, there’s nothing we haven’t seen before.”

Now I don’t feel so bad about the rubber woman that was left in the trunk but I still have to worry about the brick of cocaine stashed under the backseat.

My plan was to drive my Kentucky Camry for many years to come. But like Mike Tyson said, “everyone’s got a plan until they get punched in the face.”

With no vehicle means no more volunteering driving old people around or paid driving gigs. I’m not sure if I want to get another vehicle right away. Perhaps I’ll take a break from contributing to the production of hydrocarbons to see what possibilities await me in the minimalist world.  I hardly ever have to be anywhere anyway. Besides, one closed door opens another one. Situations only seem bad because we’re often unable to imagine or believe in the positive unknowns.

Having access to an automobile allows you the opportunity to follow your unambitious distractions that usually results in nothing besides minuscule stimulation and a waste of an hour or two worth of monetary earnings.

Not having wheels is another step towards loserism…so they will have you believe anyway. I just need to lose all of my money and have my mother give me allowance for doing chores to completely be that guy no one wants to be. Extra shine on the kettle scores dessert after dinner.

I may get one of these for shits and giggles.





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