Lazy Nutrition

If I’m going to be trapped in this body for awhile then I should try to keep it running properly. With a bad diet comes aches, lethargy and possibly premature death(might not be a bad thing). A diet consisting of mostly plant based foods is the ideal way to eat for optimum health and just like with most things in life there’s always a drawback. Fruits and vegetables are good for you but they are not as fun as french fries with gravy, doughnuts, cake, pie, danishes or chocolate hedgehogs.

As much as I like smooth bowel movements and antioxidants, eating vegetables often feels like a chore. They don’t taste that good. Some people will say vegetables are delicious but that’s only after cooking and pouring sauce over them. The main attraction on the dinner table is never green and vitamin rich. You don’t impress anyone by inviting them to a gourmet broccoli dinner. Salads come at the beginning of the meal because you want to get it out of the way…it’s like finishing your homework before you can get dessert and can go out to play. People like the mood to have an upward trajectory.

Soups are a very efficient method for getting sufficient nutrients. You chop everything up, throw it in a pot and you’re set for a few days. With big supermarkets and small produce stores discounting the prices of almost expired vegetables you can brew up a big pot of soup for cheap.

Today’s special consists of pork neck bones, head of cauliflower, leek, celery root, celery sticks, carrots, brown turnip, radishes, mushrooms, red pepper. I couldn’t even fit all of the vegetables in the bowl! I believe if I didn’t dice them all up they wouldn’t have fit in the pot. I should have added some spices and herbs.

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This post may save your life or at least your digestive system.

 

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Being Alone

Being alone is probably the greatest fear of all. Centuries of hardwiring tells us being alone is the last thing you want. If putting food in your mouth is all there is to life, for the longest time you needed people to help you do that. 21st century life is full of gadgets and security but we’re all running on primitive wiring.

If you like going out to restaurants to dine and you find it impossible to do it alone then you’re always going to be a slave to people to some degree. I never realized it until recently but the reason I am able to live a mostly solitary life is because I can do things alone. I eat out alone, go to the movie theatres alone and even travel overseas alone. If I wasn’t able to do this then life would be totally different for me. Some call me weird and others call me independent.

What most people want is to neither be alone or always with people but unfortunately it’s difficult to have both. Separating from the tribe is an evolved way to be, I think. Tribes produce monkey behaviour no matter what age.

 

MGTOW?

Today was an exceptional day in the blogosphere for Mr. Johnson’s Blog. Someone started a thread on reddit with one of my blog posts that spiked my views to an all time high…over 700 views for one post and climbing.

Apparently there’s a movement named MGTOW…Men Going Their Own Way. I’ve only heard of this today but I think it’s a group of men who are pissed off with women because of bad relationship experience or them not being able to get a woman to love them. I’m not sure how that makes me feel.

[–]Zombocom1911 1 point 11 hours ago

Genius article full of pure truth.

[–]AcousticConfusion 1 point 9 hours ago

The job comparison was really eye opening

[–]vanets 1 point 8 hours ago

Good read 👏

 

[–]TheLoonyDuck 1 point 6 hours ago

Truth

 

I’m not sure if the comments from this particular group make me feel good or a loser. I never meant it to be an article against relationships. It was just an insight into what I think goes on in the minds of many males. Just like other posts it was meant to be part truth and part humor. It doesn’t matter though as long as people enjoy it.

Here’s the post if you want to read it…

https://nosajnawk.wordpress.com/2014/02/12/no-guy-really-wants-a-girlfriend/

Put Food in Mouth

Comedian Louis C.K. jokes that the only thing you should be concerned about in life is putting food in your mouth. Anything more complex than that should be left for philosophers and Elon Musk types.

It might be frowned upon to be a professional fat person these days but for most of human history not being able to put food in your mouth was a real concern that many died from. For hundreds of thousands of years even dog shit with a piece of corn stuck in it was appetizing. Food shortage was such a big issue that it’s still a problem in some parts of the world.

There probably was a time when you could tell a woman that you’ll give her all the food she wants to put in her mouth and she would marry you just for that. What a simple and stress-free way to live though, if your mindset every day is to cherish the ability to put food in your mouth at almost anytime of the day. One technique to do it without becoming morbidly obese is to put small bits of food in your mouth throughout the day. That way you’re constantly engaged in this true purpose of life. One peanut every minute in a 16 hour day would consist of 960 peanuts which would equal about 5,760 calories(based on 6 calories a peanut). Hmm, that’s quite a bit. Perhaps trade peanuts for pieces of Rice Krispies cereal.

Forced Minimalism

The car insurance company informed me that my car is a total loss. I knew I was going to be 100% liable but I thought there was a 75% chance my car would not be a write-off.

He said, “you don’t have to worry about picking up your belongings. We’ll send them to the nearest centre for you to pick up.”

I replied, “hopefully I didn’t leave anything embarrassing in there.”

“Don’t worry, there’s nothing we haven’t seen before.”

Now I don’t feel so bad about the rubber woman that was left in the trunk but I still have to worry about the brick of cocaine stashed under the backseat.

My plan was to drive my Kentucky Camry for many years to come. But like Mike Tyson said, “everyone’s got a plan until they get punched in the face.”

With no vehicle means no more volunteering driving old people around or paid driving gigs. I’m not sure if I want to get another vehicle right away. Perhaps I’ll take a break from contributing to the production of hydrocarbons to see what possibilities await me in the minimalist world.  I hardly ever have to be anywhere anyway. Besides, one closed door opens another one. Situations only seem bad because we’re often unable to imagine or believe in the positive unknowns.

Having access to an automobile allows you the opportunity to follow your unambitious distractions that usually results in nothing besides minuscule stimulation and a waste of an hour or two worth of monetary earnings.

Not having wheels is another step towards loserism…so they will have you believe anyway. I just need to lose all of my money and have my mother give me allowance for doing chores to completely be that guy no one wants to be. Extra shine on the kettle scores dessert after dinner.

I may get one of these for shits and giggles.

razor_old_a

 

 

Making Money Blogging

Last year I stumbled upon some guy’s blog where the theme was accomplishing financial freedom around the time of mid-life. At first I was suspicious because of all the websites and blogs that sell snake oil dreams around a similar premise. I’m convinced though that this guy is legit. He doesn’t really sell anything but instead shows you what he’s been doing. Most people wouldn’t be able to do it, I don’t think, but it is very realistic.

In the last 6 years he said he’s made about $120,000 USD through his blog and hopes to make $36,000 in 2017. It’s not a lot of money he’s made compared to grinding it out 40 hours a week at some job but it’s pretty impressive. To give more insight to the story he probably made a decent income when he was working as a computer engineer for 15 years, saved a good chunk of that money, invested and didn’t pick up a cocaine habit. What is more impressive though is that he convinced his wife to continue working while he took on the role as a SAHD. Women…fight for equality and see what happens?

So I was thinking…why can’t I do what he does? We’re both Asian, he’s probably smarter than I am but I’m probably more entertaining than him. If I can replicate even half his success I will be satisfied. I just need a subject that interests people and myself, and refrain from being an asshole. Apparently there aren’t enough people who are interested in my thoughts and feelings to get me paid. I blame Donald Trump. If ISIS wants to take responsibility they are free to do so.

The guy’s blog…

http://retireby40.org/about-2/

 

 

 

Critical Condition Kentucky Camry

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This was the scene today while I was walking home. Twenty minutes prior I got my car smashed at a busy intersection during rush hour traffic.

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No, I don’t drive a Benz

I was a left turn away from picking up some woman’s kid from school so that I could make $15. I didn’t get the kid or the $15. Instead, my Kentucky Camry’s front end is smashed and there were probably a lot of pissed off people.

What I remember is sitting at the intersection waiting to make a left. There was a vehicle on the other side also waiting to make a left so my view was obstructed. The coast looked clear so I started creeping out slowly just to make sure. It all seemed good so I slowly started to execute the turn and by the time the Benz came into vision I already knew it was a done deal.

The thoughts that went through my head in the next 2 seconds were…

This is definitely going to happen and it’s going to be bad.

I’m turning left so it’s going to be legally my fault no matter what.

Maybe a hot nurse will have to touch my penis to insert the catheter. 

There’s going to be a lot of pissed off people.

And the last thought was…

Hmm, it didn’t hurt one bit.

His airbag deployed and he quickly crawled out of his vehicle through the passenger side. I stayed in my car for 10 seconds to postpone doing the walk of shame. He went into a bit of a shock while I was calm like a heavily medicated hospital patient.

The aftermath couldn’t have gone much better. The people around were very nice and comforting. “The important thing is that no one is hurt. And you have a smile on your face so it’s not that bad.” People are always commenting on the smile on my face in normally bad situations.

I was thinking the whole mess was my fault but as the events progressed I started getting the idea it wasn’t. To me I was very positive that it was going to be a safe turn. He seemed apologetic and was worried. He kept saying things like he was looking for validation. I was also surprised that he wasn’t pissed off that I caused him to crash his fairly expensive car.

The fire truck arrived in like 1 minute it seemed. After the fireman asked if we were both okay he jumped to the conclusion that I drove the Benz. “Is the Benz yours?” Around here there’s a lot of rich Chinese people and bad Chinese drivers. The other guy was of middle-eastern descent.

Once he found out it was the other guy’s he questioned him about his speed. I guess they’ve seen enough of these situations to know how it usually goes down. He asked him if he was going too fast for the conditions and the guy started stuttering saying something about how he couldn’t see me but not denying he was speeding.

I want to think that I was in the right but maybe I’m fucked in the head and I spaced out. Sure, I drove for a job for 7 years without one accident but without video I can’t say for sure what happened. It’s possible that he came out of a driveway just before the intersection which would explain why we couldn’t see each other. He’s either a very nice guy or he felt really guilty because he offered to give me a ride home with whoever was coming to pick him up. I don’t know, maybe I’m looking for confirmation biases. We’ll see what happens.

While I was walking home something happened fit for a comedy. A dump truck with snow removal capabilities sprayed dirty wet snow all over my jeans. I believe they call it insult to injury. I’m sure he got a laugh.