In grade 6 my teacher offered to take me to the nearby McDonald’s for reasons that didn’t make sense to me but I didn’t care why because I was going to get McDonald’s. He made me promise not to tell any of the other students in the class though because you know, it would seem unfair. I would have probably got my ass kicked if the other kids found out. All I had to do was get a consent form signed by a parent or guardian.
Most people only had one but I had both at the time. Uncle Bill, who was the guy we were living with was a bit reluctant but ended up signing it. His 19-year-old son, Greg, who happened to be couch surfing there at the time took the opportunity as usual to bug me. “Oh, he’s going to take you to McDonald’s and then on the way back he’s going to have his way with you in the bushes…hahahaha.”
This child molestation stuff was bizarre to me. It wasn’t something that was ever talked about. What was he going to do to me behind the bushes? My teacher and Uncle Bill had met once before at one of those Teacher-Parent meetings where they would talk about how I was a nice kid but not much else. My grades stunk and so did my attitude. The teachers would always have difficulty finding encouraging stuff to say about me. “I think he’s excited about the upcoming ski trip.”
“Hey look, it’s my Uncle Bill.” I remember so vividly at McDonald’s the look on both of their faces. I didn’t know it at the time but Uncle Bill had a look that said, “I’m watching you, don’t you dare even think about those bushes.” The look on my teacher’s face said, “he’s worried I’m going to take the kid behind the bushes.” Now that I think about it, it must have been kind of awkward for both of them…more awkward for Mr. Wall since Uncle Bill never felt awkward. If I had to guess, the reason why my teacher felt compelled to take me to McDonald’s was because initially him and Uncle Bill kind of hit it off because they were both from Ukraine.
I didn’t end up getting molested. Sorry for the boring ending.