Slack Off Halloween


I didn’t even have the motivation this year to give it teeth. I did as little as possible by buying a mini pumpkin. I suppose I could have went one step lower if I took an orange and drew a face on it.

One step lower even would be turning off the lights, hiding in the room where the light cannot be seen from the front of the house with the attitude of “fuck the kids.” But remembering how I felt about houses that didn’t give out candy when I was a kid pushes me to participate in the festivities.

To further my lack of Halloween spirit I bought a box of chocolates containing only 50 pieces because I didn’t want to spend more money. As they say, “pay now or pay later.” I ran out of chocolates early but instead of hiding the pumpkin and turning off the lights I started giving out 50 cents to each kid. And the survey says!….. kids rather have money than chocolate. Future capitalists in the making. Apparently the children are our future. The future is doomed.

Next year I’ll dress up the dog. I’m sure she’ll be delighted.





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