In my life I have never abused my power, mostly because I never had much but now I am in a position to do so. The volunteer agency has bestowed upon me a handicap parking permit which allows me to park my car in those oversized parking spaces sufficient for the most obese of persons to comfortably move around in between vehicles. A wise superhero once said, “with great power comes great responsibility,” but Spider-Man never had the great power of a handicap parking permit so it doesn’t apply.
I’m not sure that I will be able to resist not abusing my power even though I have nothing but good intentions. How many times have you been in a situation where you’re desperately circling around for parking and you think you see a primo spot only to have your hopes crushed when you see that it’s reserved for the handicapped? It always brings you back to the reality that when something seems too good to be true then it probably is.
Because I’m not completely shameless, even if I do fraudulently park in a handicap spot I would feel the need to pretend that I’m disabled. To just come out of my vehicle like a rock star when I’m supposed to be disabled might be borderline sociopathic. I’ll keep a walking cane in my car and walk with my left foot contorted inwards. That should convince the surrounding public that I’m an invalid. For good measure I’ll tilt my head a little to the right. A little drool wouldn’t hurt either.
Or maybe I’ll just continue parking in those spaces for chumps where you’re always too close to the line and can’t carelessly swing your door open. It sucks to be average.