A Monkey for President

For a few months I was getting my haircut from a Latino girl who I found through Craigslist. She stopped responding to my text messages which implied she no longer wanted to continue our business arrangement or that she is dead.

After a few haircuts she realized that my ultimate goal was mostly economical which wouldn’t benefit her as much. I try to stretch out the periods between haircuts as long as possible.

It’s possible that she hates me because I said I wanted Donald Trump to be president for my own selfish entertainment. She expressed her outraged towards Trump’s potential policies against the undocumented Latinos. Oh well.

If a monkey was running for president I would want it to win as well. The monkey would probably have a fighting chance too given that Trump has only come as far as he has because of the entertainment factor and that he is offering America something different.

For most of history the president of the United States has been an old, boring white man. Neither Obama, Hilary, Trump or a monkey fit that mold. They might be old, boring or white but not all three. It’s all about trying to be progressive these days. A gay president is likely in the foreseeable future.

They let you choose between constipation and diarrhea. You pick constipation but grow tired of it after a few years and then opt for diarrhea just to get rid of the constipation. Since 1989 it’s been Bush, Clinton, Clinton, Bush, Bush, Obama, Obama and if Hilary wins it will be Clinton again.


I find it odd that so many people can stand proudly behind Trump even with his reprehensible speeches and lack of experience, and I cringe when people cheer loudly for Hilary’s corny punchlines…

“if fighting for women’s healthcare and paid family leave and equal pay is playing the woman card, then deal me in.”

Kim Kardashian for president!





8 comments on “A Monkey for President

  1. Noor Elhayat says:

    Loooooooooooooooooool Your post is hilarious yet so true!
    Im not an American and I hope you won’t take that as intruding! Good luck with the results!
    The whole world is watching and crossing fingers for Hilary!
    Well 🙂


    • MrJohnson says:

      I’m not American either…lol. I am just up north of America on the other side of the imaginary line. I’m rooting for Trump..He’s going to make America great again but if he doesn’t it will be fun to watch.


  2. BerLinda says:

    I would have cut your hair for free, just for the entertainment factor 🙂


  3. Yeah, I would vote for Kim too.


  4. Lousy Minx says:

    As am American, this is probably the worst election in history and I am still debating whether or not I want to participate. I would rather not contribute to any of these people getting elected.


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