Mental Discrimination

Some of the face to face type jobs here discriminate towards their hiring practices. If you want to be a cop or bus driver you will have a better chance getting hired if you’re a non-white male. Government and big corporations like to promote how socially progressive they are.

Back in my day(hahaha), cops used to big white guys. Today it’s not uncommon to see a 5’4″ woman serving and protecting. I wouldn’t want to be a cop unless if I was at least 5’10”. I don’t want to be questioning some big, hairy biker dude knowing that inside his head he’s laughing at my runty presence. I’m supposed to serve and protect the community but who is going to protect me?

Today I was talking to a high functioning mentally challenged guy in his 30’s and he has this weekly newspaper delivering gig that pays him $80 to deliver 125 papers which takes him about 3 hours. I want his job! I felt kind of pathetic asking a mentally challenged guy to hook me up with some employment but I couldn’t help myself. He told me the recruitment agency he went through so I looked it up on the internet to not surprisingly discover that it’s an agency that helps people with mental disabilities.

I felt cheated and discriminated against. So this is how white people have been feeling when they are affected by affirmative action. On top of that he makes $12.50 an hour at his fish and chips job, and takes home $300 a week from tips. Next week he’ll probably show me a picture of his hot girlfriend.

They say the average IQ of a person is between 90 and 110. To get disability benefits you have to be 70 and under. So if you’re at 80 you’re better off being 10 points lower because between disability and average is the range where there is no love. Fuck, I wonder if I’m at 80.

New Job

A fellow volunteer from the same organization got word from the volunteer coordinator that I’d be “perfect for the job.” How she came to that conclusion…I’m not sure because I’ve never taken care of anyone with down syndrome. The closest I’ve came was watching Corky on that show, Life Goes On.

While not even close to my comfort zone, I decided to give it a go since I could use the extra money and new experience. My quasi-interview was going to this guy’s babysitting place with his mother as this would be where I would pick him up if I were to accept the position. The previous guy landed himself in jail for stealing money from the parents of another disabled kid he looked after. The parents trusted him and gave him their bank card to take money out for the kid when he needed something.

Walking into a place full of mentally challenged people for the first time in your life is a bit daunting. My first task was to get Michael to put away his stuff and leave with us. Michael goes when he wants to and you can’t rush him. He doesn’t speak and doesn’t always give any indication if he’s even listening to you.

“So how am I supposed to do this?” The last thing I wanted to do was piss this guy off the first day and have him hate me. Michael carries around one of those huge, hardcover Merriam Webster dictionaries that people now use as a “back in my day” showpiece. I’m pretty sure he can’t read but he just likes to flip through the pages and stare at the symbols that we call words. I passed or failed, I don’t know, but she decided to take me on a once a week trial basis. That’s okay with me. Three hours of this a week might be enough.

The first couple times I took him to Toys “R” Us. He’s 26 years old but I’m told he has the mentality of a 5-year-old. I think it’s more like 3 but I guess at times it’s 5. I could probably leave him in there and let the workers take care of him while I walk around the mall but that would be irresponsible. He’s fairly self-sufficient while he’s in there. He gets fixated on one thing and will stay in that one spot for a long period of time.

I’m not sure if paying someone like me to do this gig is really benefiting Michael. He could be just as happy sitting in his basement staring at his portable video game system for hours. I think it’s more for his mother to make her feel better. Kind of like taking your dog to a spa. The dog couldn’t care less if instead you took it to a mountain of dog shit to roll around in but the owner feels good thinking their pet is living a better life.

I’ve had him 5 or 6 times now and it might be the best job I’ve ever had. The only potential downside is if he whizzes in his pants or shits himself. I’m just hoping it will never happen. Taking care of him is like taking care of a big dog that has all the rights of a human. If he doesn’t want to move I can’t just pick him up or yank on his leash. What I’ve realized from doing this gig is that if you never want your kid to grow up then pray that you will get one with down syndrome.

Fortunately he listens to me. Apparently he likes me according to his mother. I don’t mind him actually. He’s cooperative and amusing to be with at times. She said she is so happy that our mutual friend referred me. I’ve been unknowingly overachieving given that the guy before me took him to the library 4 days of the week. All of Michael’s other caretakers just take him wherever they want to go whereas I try to take him where he wants to go. So far it seems that he likes the toy store and watching wrestling at my house. The dog finds him interesting as well. Sounds like I’m trying to nominate myself for the down syndrome caretaker of the year award.




Voting, Economics, Culture


Reading books has never been my forte so when I read a book in its entirety it means it’s a good book. I’ve been interested in investing in the financial markets and to educate myself I’ve been watching videos and reading books. Recently I read a book written by Howard Marks who is a bona fide investor. His teachings are very philosophical, realistic and rational.

He writes memos on his company’s website and I read the most recent one which maybe some or one of you might be interested in reading. To summarize it’s a long read about human behaviour, economics, the U.S. presidential election, Brexit, politics, society and culture, of today and historically.

Hating on Diner le Blanc


If you live in a trendy enough city you may have Diner en Blanc hosting one of its dinner events near you. The demand is greater than the supply but many people hate on it for a few reasons.

  • Everyone must wear all white
  • It’s mostly white people attending
  • It’s an invite only event
  • It gets media exposure
  • It seems pretentious

Proponents of the event hate that people hate on it. They don’t see why so many people would have so many derogatory comments about an event and its attendees when everyone there enjoys themselves and nobody is getting hurt.

To attend this event you need to be invited by someone from the organization or someone who has participated in the past…something like that anyway. You can’t just buy a ticket. If you do get invited and attend, along with your white attire (hopefully you don’t shit your pants) you have to bring your own white coloured table, chair, candelabra and china. To add to the specialness of this event the public outdoor location is not revealed until the day of.

I can see how it can be enjoyable if you enjoy socializing with strangers, meeting people or if you’re good looking but would there be as much demand as there is if it wasn’t so exclusive? Usually with exclusivity comes perks but in this case you pay $35-50 to go out for dinner and you have to bring your own dining room set with you.

I’m not sure why white was the colour they chose for everyone to wear. It’s possible they wanted to discourage fat people from coming since white is the least flattering colour for people with unflattering body’s. Making men wear white pants is basically making every guy go out and buy a new pair of pants because hardly any guy owns a pair of white pants. I had a friend whose wife wanted everyone to wear white to their party. I showed up in blue jeans, Hello Titty t-shirt and a dirty, green baseball cap. I may or may not have been wearing white underwear.


What I think annoys people the most about this event is that it’s an exclusive party for nobodies that gets media exposure. You look at the pictures online, you see the faces of the people attending and just can’t help but think that they are thinking, “I’m a somebody, I got invited to something you had no chance of getting invited to.”

Most exclusive parties are exclusive to people who belong to a group like a business, team or disability and you think to yourself, “okay, I can’t go because I’m not on dialysis.” With Diner le Blanc you think, “I can’t go because they don’t think I’m cool enough.”

If ISIS were to attack a Diner le Blanc event it would be tragic but there would be a lot less sympathy for the victims. I just made you cringe and unfollow, didn’t I?

So people can go to this event and enjoy it but just like a 16-year-old guy having manboobs the side effect might be that a lot of people are going to secretly laugh at you.




Yard Sale Findings and Losings



Trump, no tengo miedo de una pared

I visited a few yard sales that were advertised on Craigslist this morning. One guy had ‘old records’ advertised but when I got there he said some guy bought the whole bunch yesterday. I want to talk to your manager!

Another ad showed a picture of rotary phones but someone before me snatched the good ones yesterday. As a consolation I found this Mexican dude. The guy wanted $5. I picked up another item and asked if he would throw it in. We had a deal.

In the sensitive culture we live in today, derogatory wife jokes are not as trendy as before. I’m going to mail this to the 65-year-old divorced white guy that I know.

Reunited Through Craigslist

I love Craigslist. I would give Craig a hug if I could. Before Craigslist people would go out and buy stuff brand new through retailers unless if they got lucky through a friend. Sure, CL might be bad for the economy but the economy doesn’t care about you so why should you give a crap about it? In the end the economy will conform to what the people want.

I have an item for sale that has been on CL for a few months and last night some guy replied telling me to call him. Tonight I called him and there was no answer. A few minutes later he called me back giving me the impression that he knew me. He still had my phone number saved on his phone but he had no idea that it was my ad that he replied to.

“WTF…that’s your ad? Hahaha.” It wouldn’t be as strange if I lived in a town of 5000 but there’s 2 million people in this city and a manual camera lens from 1980 isn’t exactly a hot commodity these days.

It’s been a few years since I’ve seen him. We got to talking and it was an enjoyable conversation. It looks like we’re going to be meeting up soon. There’s a few things that we have in common so it might be a good thing. If I have a son one day I am going to name him Craig but I may have to bestow that honour to my next dog even if it’s a girl.


A Monkey for President

For a few months I was getting my haircut from a Latino girl who I found through Craigslist. She stopped responding to my text messages which implied she no longer wanted to continue our business arrangement or that she is dead.

After a few haircuts she realized that my ultimate goal was mostly economical which wouldn’t benefit her as much. I try to stretch out the periods between haircuts as long as possible.

It’s possible that she hates me because I said I wanted Donald Trump to be president for my own selfish entertainment. She expressed her outraged towards Trump’s potential policies against the undocumented Latinos. Oh well.

If a monkey was running for president I would want it to win as well. The monkey would probably have a fighting chance too given that Trump has only come as far as he has because of the entertainment factor and that he is offering America something different.

For most of history the president of the United States has been an old, boring white man. Neither Obama, Hilary, Trump or a monkey fit that mold. They might be old, boring or white but not all three. It’s all about trying to be progressive these days. A gay president is likely in the foreseeable future.

They let you choose between constipation and diarrhea. You pick constipation but grow tired of it after a few years and then opt for diarrhea just to get rid of the constipation. Since 1989 it’s been Bush, Clinton, Clinton, Bush, Bush, Obama, Obama and if Hilary wins it will be Clinton again.


I find it odd that so many people can stand proudly behind Trump even with his reprehensible speeches and lack of experience, and I cringe when people cheer loudly for Hilary’s corny punchlines…

“if fighting for women’s healthcare and paid family leave and equal pay is playing the woman card, then deal me in.”

Kim Kardashian for president!




Crazy Craigslist Seller

Something recently made me want to go after vintage audio gear. Just the other day on the radio they were saying something about a person who collects vinyl records is most likely to be a middle-aged, lonely, introverted male.

To search for old gear I used newer technology…Craigslist. The guy I bought a receiver and speakers off gave me a whole new perspective on what kind of people exist in a suburb near you.

“For your map planning, my cross streets are Fairford Place & 131 St. TEXT me when you arrive at the cross streets, and I will meet you there, and bring you the rest of the way tp my place. TEXT ONLY”

Okay…either he doesn’t like verbal communication or he was low on minutes. It was obvious he didn’t want to give me his exact address. I suspect he was taking precaution against a potential robbery. If I was going to rob someone’s home I would be a little more ambitious than to hunt for 30-year-old stereo equipment going for $80.

“So I have to go to storage to pick up the equipment. I want to know that you are 100% Coming by today before I go to the trouble of doing this.”

I would later find out this was bullshit.

So I drive 30 minutes to get to the corner of 131 St and Fairford, and then text the guy to let him know that I had arrived.



I’m obviously not going to win this debate so I just waited for him to come. I was beginning to wonder if he would want me to wear a blindfold and spin 10 times before directing me t his home.

As he drove by he waved at me to follow him in half a block.

“You told me you were going to text me when you were leaving the Tri Cities area.”

My reply…“Maybe it was someone else? I don’t even live in the Tri Cities area.”

“Oh. I swear that’s what you said,” he says.

This was foreshadowing to how it was all going to all make sense.

To give you a picture of how he looked liked he was a middle-aged Wigger. Baggy shorts, runners, chain around his neck and a baseball cap. He went to one of the rooms in his basement suite to get the stereo equipment which made it obvious that he didn’t just go pick it up in “storage” like he said. A few minutes later he was telling me how he just had it all plugged in last week.

He was so baffled on how he couldn’t get it all working. He put on a record but no sound was coming out.

I thought I’d give him a few minutes to figure it out before I would butt in.

“Don’t you have to connect RCA cables from the turntable to the receiver?”

He insisted it wasn’t necessary. Right then, it all made sense to me. This guy was far from being all there.

We had the vintage thing in common though. He had a rotary phone, vintage stereo equipment and vintage looking appliances. He had also just purchased an old 1980s van with a bed inside and vintage Coleman accessories. It could have been a pedophile van.

We had a laugh about how the 1980s rumour of Bon Jovi having AIDS was so widespread in the pre-internet era.

In the end we got everything working so I paid him the $80 and off I went. I hope he never goes off his meds.



A Relationship Closer to Dog

Some want to find a way to be closer to God. Some renew their wedding vows in hopes of rejuvenating their love for each other. I have become closer with my dog by almost killing her.

As her personal head chef I believe I made her sick by feeding her a rotten steak. At first glance the steak didn’t look too great but it passed my sniff test, and any leftover doubts I had was erased by the notion that cooking it would make it okay and that also, dogs have stronger stomachs than humans. Would I have eaten it? I really don’t think so.

The following days there was diarrhea then diarrhea and vomiting. Dr. Internet prescribed the vet if symptoms persisted after 24-48 hours. I thought to myself that I would never go see the doctor that soon if I had the same symptoms. But once she started becoming lethargic in the morning I really started to worry and also felt supremely guilty. I felt so guilty that I let the vet upsell me on x-rays for $173 that gave me nothing but a blurry glimpse of some of her insides. It was a low pressure sales pitch but it felt like an upsell. She said it would be the best route to do everything in one shot. After we found nothing from the x-rays there happened to be something else we could do…blood panel work. I declined and she said it was definitely okay that I just take her home with the meds and go from there. Grand total: $365. Funny enough, the 2 dogs after me were also in for diarrhea. Diarrhea might be a veterinarian’s brown bread and butter. It’s like non-violent drug offenses for privitized American prisons.


She’s not sick in this photo but it’s similar to how she looked like

I don’t regret the x-rays really because during the presentation she mentioned something about pancreatitis and how too much fatty foods would do it. I started thinking about all the times I fed the dog scraps of fried meat and the huge dog treats my mother would give her every morning. At least I walked away with some valuable information. I used to think that dogs couldn’t be that sensitive because they’re supposed to be descendants of wolves. If that theory is correct my dog must have evolved from a long line of mutated midget wolves.

The whole week I stayed by her side, trying to get her to eat, giving her medicine, watching if she drank water and anticipating her crap sessions. I think I mastered making meals that she likes. She’s picky but I’ve found that I can trick her into eating most things if I put a little bit of meat from pork neck bones.

It’s was a horrible feeling thinking that I caused another living creature several days of discomfort. She depends on me and I let her down because I was careless. Seeing her sad face and slow body movements was killing me. She appears to be better now. I won’t be fully convinced until another week because that’s just the way I am.  I was so delighted to finally see a well-formed, dry stool. Sometimes the best things in life are shit.