To answer the question of, “what should I do with my life,” the answer might be to just not do things that suck. Many would say that you have to and that’s life. I believe we all have to engage in some moments that suck but it could be possible that we could spend less of our lives doing them.
We can all endure suckery but it’s the long-term suckery that makes us miserable. The less shit in your life the less it stinks and the fewer flies and maggots you have to deal with.
Believing you have to put up with the extent of misery that you have to is based on your belief on how your life must be lived. Perhaps you’re a toothless hooker with no home to go to so no matter what you believe your life is going to suck. The lesson there would be to not let it get to that point. Make sure you take care of your teeth.
My best days are those when I’m fairly busy but not busy doing things that suck. They may not be exciting either but there’s no pain attached to them. Yesterday I did my volunteer gig at the supermarket, ate spaghetti with meat sauce and took a drive to help out the old guy. Maybe it wasn’t all pleasurable but it was purposeful and painless.
It’s not completely that simple. A big reason for the lack of misery is due to the fact that I don’t have a job that I had to go to all the time that brought me feelings of misery. Even on my days off work the virus was always running in the background infecting my mind. There’s relief when you finish your shift but no detox is effective right away. You get a couple days to walk away from the grief but your infected brain knows that you have to do it all over again 3 sunrises later.
If you can find a way to make money that doesn’t suck the life out of you then you’re lucky. If I can’t find that then I hope to find a balance so that my life isn’t incarcerated in the sucky category.