First World Reflections

The wild sockeye salmon lost its freshness so I trickled it down to the next contestant…the dog. I’m making her sound like a bottom feeder but while feeding her I realized that one might be better off being a First World dog then a Third World human.

There’s people over there walking miles every day to bring back buckets of water on top of their head which would be considered a good day. This morning I ran clean drinking water on my dog’s butthole because of her dirty defecation. She struggled, not knowing how privileged she was to have liquid gold purify her anus and a servant to wipe her dry afterwards.

If we want to contribute to humanitarianism we should hold off on the stray animals and adopt a starving African kid. They can feed themselves and wash their own bum. In North America we buy a lottery ticket hoping to get lucky. In parts of Asia they pray at the bedside for Angelina Jolie to come to their village.

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