Random Wednesday Bits

I have an orientation tonight at 6 PM which is why I am at a library near there right now…I don’t want to hang out in rush hour traffic from where I live. It seems that 4 PM is about the time that internet speeds significantly slow down wherever you are. My guess is that all the kids are home from school sneaking in their porn intake before their parents get home from work. I don’t know how as a parent you can block out the thought that your kid was watching hardcore pornography just 1 minute before you walked in the door. The birds and the bees conversation is a breeze compared to any pornography etiquette conversation that exists. They will make instructional videos one day. You heard this first on here.

This morning I picked up a cake for a potluck that was going on with fellow volunteers. When I got in my car and drove off, I apparently turned into a lane that was one way but not my way. I didn’t realize this until I got to the end when I couldn’t turn left and turning right was awkward. A young Asian woman in a Lexus turned in and decided to stop beside me, put her window down to mouth some words to me while my window was up. If I had to guess she was saying, “you fucking idiot, it’s only one way, didn’t you see the sign? Oh my god” To that imaginary dialogue, I said, “no, of course not, otherwise I wouldn’t have drove in this way you fucking whore.” As curious as I was to what she was saying, I didn’t want to find out otherwise I might have done something stupid like call her a “fucking whore.”

It’s possible though that she put her window down because she was concerned and wanted to warn me of the possible consequences of my actions. What a boring story that would make. Who knows. I’ll have to go back to check out the “no left turn” sign because I’m assuming there is one.

This potluck taught me that food from a bunch of non-professional chefs is nothing to die for. It was comparable to a low grade buffet. Most of the items tasted like people’s first round experiments. I hope none of them ever read this.

After the potluck I dropped off some desserts to an old woman who was volunteering somewhere else and couldn’t make it to the potluck. We were talking about Sundays and then I guess she found it to be a good segue to bring up church. I had to stand there for 5 minutes while she preached. She talked about how we were designed to have the power of choice which meant their must be a higher power that created us otherwise we would be created as robots. I replied, “I wish I was a robot.” Terminator was pretty rad. It wasn’t so bad to listen to the short sermon but “I had to get going.”

My thought while driving away was that the higher power created us to be able to make choices so that he/she/it could sit there and laugh at our follies for their own entertainment. How boring would this show be if we were pre-programmed robots? Instead, he/she/it is sitting there with heavenly buttered popcorn watching all 7 billion of us and thinking, “hahaha, look at this moron!.”

I never thought of blogging as something to do between tasks while I’m out but I like the idea. I guess I’m thankful that I enjoy writing. It satisfies the artist in me and it’s free.




2 comments on “Random Wednesday Bits

  1. HappyApathy says:

    I see imminent risk in all potluck gathering. I mean: are we 100% certain that these people don’t want to poison us? …or that they have competently prepared the food that they’ve brought. It should be called russian roulette.


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