The journey to solo life has been a slow processing application with no step by step instructions. In the beginning there were a whole bunch of ‘forever people,’ the acquaintances and Facebook friends. I’ve got it down to less than a handful of people that I sparsely communicate with.
Withdrawing from friends and family is apparently a symptom of depression which I’m sure it can be but those WebMD webpages should sometimes have disclaimers. What if your friends and family are part of a flesh eating cult?
I was trying to find a sweet spot, hoping I could maintain some level of positive relationship with long-time friends. It was too much for me to just abruptly sever ties with seemingly no justifiable reason.
The deletions on Facebook were many at first and then slowly trickled down to 17 friends, many of those 17 were people I met while travelling. I also started deleting phone contacts because I didn’t like seeing the names on my list.
Trying to separate yourself from flies while smothered with shit does not produce the best outcomes if your plan is to be maggot-free. Living and working in the old neighbourhood made it impossible not to bump into the people I was trying to avoid. “Hey, let’s go for lunch sometime” or even worse, “hey, come sit at our table.”
Although 20 years of making connections has an expansive reach that can touch my new area of isolation, it’s unlikely I will see anyone I know from the not so distant past. Technology makes all things possible in our era though. The internet likes to play Sherlock Holmes when you are on Facebook. “Do you know…..?”
In times of weakness I would click on this person I knew and then see other people I knew. At the end of it, I would regret it like everything else that you engage in for easy stimulation but know you shouldn’t have. A few days ago I decided that was it…I’m not even going to go on Facebook with that account no more. Seeing the mass amount of identical profile pictures of people holding their babies/trophies and people on vacation standing in front of a famous landmark doesn’t make me yearn for more.
New rule in life…if I don’t care to see you then I don’t want to mentally download any new updates about your life either. Often we try to improve our life by adding to it, never thinking that less might better.
A wise man once told me that if you want someone out of your life just lend them $100.