Last night around 11 PM I was sitting at my desk in the corner of my room when the desk and chair started shaking. The first thing I thought was that my dog was causing this but it didn’t make sense because my dog is a 8.4 pound Shih Tzu(I just weighed her). Then the blinds started shaking and I was like…holy shit, it’s an earthquake. A 4.3 magnitude quake they say, that originated on the island next to us.

It lasted about 3-4 seconds but I freaked out because it’s just more fun that way. I quickly put together a backpack of stuff in case I had to make a getaway.

  • Waterproof ski pants
  • Socks and shirt
  • Passport
  • $300 USD
  • Bic Lighter
  • Flashlight
  • Cans of Heinz beans
  • Drugs(if I’m going to die then I want to be high)

For the last 25 years they’ve been saying Vancouver is going to get the “big one” soon. I live in a region where it is supposedly supposed to sink if the big earthquake happens. I’ve had thoughts of buying an inflatable raft which I would put on the roof of my house if the disaster was imminent. Hopefully my mother will be at work as I don’t think she’ll be able to make her way up on to the roof.  It would be sad to wave goodbye to her from up top while she gets swept away by the tsunami. The dog will miss her dearly.

Luckily the big one didn’t happen and it turned out to be the equivalent of a guy jerking off to release tension so he doesn’t have to go out and do something massively stupid.





7 comments on “Earthquake

  1. Are Vancouver and Seattle going to share the “big one” or do we each get our own?


  2. Wanda says:

    It’s the same here in LA. With every small quake we get there are countless news stories and updates from the USGS talking about the Big One. I don’t have a back-up plan that includes a raft, but I have a zombie/earthquake stash of supplies just in case all hell breaks loose. Cheers!


    • MrJohnson says:

      Haha..ya, I’ve played “what if SHTF” in the past too. I thought about buying a helmet in case riots break out but I thought it was a bit excessive. Well, maybe not but the gas mask probably would be.

      Liked by 1 person

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