Man Crushes and Saving Water


Last night while I was watching Luther I felt the need to urinate. I could have held it until my mother finished taking a shower but I don’t like stepping into bathrooms after someone showers or takes a dump. The humidity created by others bothers me. I’m used to having my own bathroom from living on my own and also from being an only child.

Hmmm, why don’t I just piss outside in the backyard? There’s fresh air and God takes care of the mess. I came back rather satisfied and no one the wiser that I committed an uncivilized act. On top of that, I saved 1.6 gallons of water. I’m a good person.

My latest man crush is for the British guy in the show Luther. You may know him from the show The Wire where he knocks off the role of an African American drug dealer like a boss.

My former man crush was for Keifer Sutherland’s role as Jack Bauer on the show “24.” Such a heroic badass.


I’ve been psychoanalyzing myself on my man crushes and I have come to some semi-conclusions. I like the guys who have lived chaotic lives that in turn make them end up living a lonely and tormented existence. They are manly men who are scared of nothing and can handle themselves in any situation. Although most may consider them to have low morals, their loyalty and character are superior.

I guess I want to be more like these guys and the impossibility of it all is what forms my man crush for them. I wouldn’t mind if they were my father but I’d rather them be my uncle as the pressure to live up to their competencies would be unbearable.

The only Asian I would have a man crush on is Bruce Lee and he’s been with the maggots for 40 years with no one to replace him since. It’s some sad shit but those were some big size 9 shoes to fill.




2 comments on “Man Crushes and Saving Water

  1. OD.NiCOLE says:

    there’s not much that is more disappointing than walking into someone else’s stench. Especially if they took a shit right before a hot shower or right after a hot shower. It’s just a whirlwind of hot shit. It’s something I can never get used to which is why I’ll probably take a long time to get married. I also have a problem with stepping out of the shower bare foot onto any sort of tile floor, or sitting on a wet toilet… or a dry toilet with a wet ass.


    • MrJohnson says:

      I agree with all of that. Wet anything sucks especially when it’s created by someone else. Bathrooms should be like toothbrushes…everyone gets their own. When I was a kid I lived in a house with a truck driver who would shit and smoke cigarettes in a bathroom with no window or working fan. I get grossed out just thinking about it.

      Liked by 1 person

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