Once in a while I read some of my old posts from 2 to 3 years back. At the end of a post I will cringe at the obvious writing errors that I knowingly and unknowingly made at the time but I am also reminded that I still strongly believe in the message that I put out there years ago. I guess this blog is kind of like my bible.
For me, putting my thoughts and beliefs out there for all of you to see forces me to be accountable for my words. Words mean nothing and actions are every thing, right? Believing you should live by the words of Christ and not doing so would seem disingenuous. I’m no holy savior nor do I have 12 disciples but what are you if you don’t at least try to live by your beliefs?
It probably does not matter to anyone out there in the blogosphere if I live by my words but I hate feeling like a fraud, and as noble as that may sound it has always been sort of my downfall. ‘Fake it until you make it,’ has always been met with much resistance. Realistically, readers of blogs tend to disappear after about year at most so in terms of being honourable to my words, it wouldn’t really matter anyway.
Seeing the dates of when these old posts were published gives me a smack in the head reminding me of the time that has gone by. This blog is like an extension of my life, internal and external, and I don’t want it to be a continuation of stagnant themes. Who wants to live a life or read about one where the story never evolves?
I want this blog to have a happy ending or at least be happy at its climax. There’s success stories all over the internet about how people dragged themselves out of hell to the place they are now. I don’t give those stories much credit because anyone can write a bullshit story in one sitting. If I can end up to be a success story, I have documented proof that it wasn’t always that way.