Week 3 of Unemployment

Yesterday I went to a local community center to volunteer at the rooftop garden. On the website it said they welcomed people who knew jack shit about gardening. I have an interest in gardening as it is a good skill to know when the apocalypse comes our way, and I also like eating home grown food. Winter is looming which means most of the crops are dead but they made me useful by picking weeds and shovelling compost. The three older ladies who were there were grateful that some younger person was there to squat for prolonged periods.

For my efforts they gave me some sorrel(herb leafy vegetable with a sour taste), rosemary and lavender from the garden. I felt like I was bringing home rations for the family.


Now that I have ample time I walk to the supermarket if weather permits. Walking past the book aisle I noticed a disproportionate amount of romance novels. It leads me to believe that there are a lot of lonely women out there looking for some loving.

Jack put his large hand around her thigh and she shivered as he squeezed cold mustard onto her navel.

I walked to the gym today and on my way an old friend drove by and honked. We spoke for 5 seconds.

What have you been up to?

I quit my job

Me too

Interesting. I’m contagious.

A few more streets I run into an old, short, Italian man standing on the sidewalk outside of his house, whistling at women walking by. He jokingly made conversation with me in his broken English and at the end of it all we shook hands, he told me his name was Luigi and then he went for my balls. I took it as a joke but it was kind of weird. I felt one of his bricklaying Italian fingers swipe my right testicle.

Life is good.


10 comments on “Week 3 of Unemployment

  1. samlobos says:

    “Jack put his large hand around her thigh and she shivered as he squeezed cold mustard onto her navel.”
    Gave me a good laugh.


  2. Glad to hear you are making new acquaintances in the new chapter of your life. Careful with them Italians though šŸ™‚


  3. Jatinder says:

    Dem Italian’s love the chinese meat balls dish during dimsum! Luigi isn’t any different!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You make unemployment sound so glamorous.


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