Defying Responsible

If you want to talk to the most normal people in the world, the place to go to is the bank. There’s no other place that will provide you with more people who look, speak and think like stiffs. If you want positive reinforcement for working and saving, the bank is like a place of worship for that realm of thinking.

It’s in my Chinaman DNA to save…I can’t help it. If I’m working then I’m saving because to me there’s no sense in working if you’re going to be broke. You can spend your earned money on whatever pleasure life has to offer but to me, there’s no pleasure in life that outweighs the misery from having to work. I will trade some misery for pleasure but I will not let pleasure force me into misery.

In certain eras of my life, I appear to be very normal on paper. I’ll have savings and a retirement savings like a fucking average miserable schmuck. The numbers make me normal. Of course, after 10 minutes of talking to me, the office stiff at the bank thinks I’m retarded.

Bank Employee: If you take out your money from your retirement savings, you will get taxed.

Me: Not always

BE: Yes


BE: Well no you won’t if you make like no money(disgusted)

ME: Ya

Bank Employee: Oh, no wallet?

Me: No, I hate wallets

BE: Why do you hate wallets?(perplexed look)

ME: Because they are too bulky

Bank Employee: You need to have a financial plan for retirement

Me: I have one already

BE: What’s that?

Me: My inheritance

BE: (pause)You can’t depend on that

Me: I think I can. I’m an only child

If she pushed it a little more I would tell her about my Plan B which is to kill myself if things don’t work out.

Why can’t I depend on my inheritance? Saying that I can’t is like telling Prince Harry he should start working some chump job just in case this whole royalty thing doesn’t pan out.


6 comments on “Defying Responsible

  1. Just started my first paying job in like 5 years. I had a very similar interaction with the HR when he tried to get me to set up a retirement plan.


    • MrJohnson says:

      A retirement plan makes sense for most people. I don’t know…it just seems like a rip off to be saving your whole life just so that you can live your feeble years more comfortably.


  2. Mr.Johnson's Cousin says:

    I’ve heard for many years now that you should calculate some inheritance into your retirement plan. Although, it’s much more difficult to factor in since you don’t know how long the person who’s leaving assets behind is going to live, or whether or not they will marry or divorce, or how much they may need to spend while living out the last years of their lives. I guess for someone who solely attempts to retire off inheritance, you could do estimated worst case scenarios, not saying they won’t leave anything behind, but could you estimate receiving a just a quarter or a third of their current total assets as opposed to expecting the full amount of assets that they currently own. Ask yourself if you would be able to sustain and/or accept living in shared accommodations to divide costs? What other lifestyle sacrifices would you be willing to make in order to not need to work? The only issue with this is you don’t know how you will feel about tolerating some of these sacrifices 25-35 years from now. I believe you can factor in some inheritance as long as you don’t over estimate expectations. Like any financial planning, you should review the giver’s assets, plus your own, and also factor in your age, annually or biannually to identify any possible shortfalls. Don’t worry Cous, just stick to the plan, remember you always have plan B. Plus you are one who knows better than to let others sway you from your beliefs. Hopefully that is a bit of the support you need. Below is a link on what some people think about calculating inheritances for retirement. Alot of people don’t believe you should count on it so you have been warned in case you can’t handle those type of comments.


    • MrJohnson says:

      I’m just playing the odds and strategizing the most efficient balance. It may not be the most prudent or ambitious route but living for absolute security is not a life worth living.

      Plan B is the ultimate equalizer.


  3. That’s definitely my Plan B as well. I thought I was the only one. Phew.


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