It’s easy to get down on yourself when your life is not close to what you think you want it to be. “Think” is the keyword here. Often you will have an infection in your mind that you always thought to be normal, like a harmless mole that’s actually cancerous. There’s no medical journal though to outline the causes, symptoms and cures for your seemingly harmless mental affliction.
When you have cancer or the flu even, it debilitates your entire life. Until you rid yourself of your disease you’re at the mercy of it. Your life belongs to it. I don’t think it’s much different when your mind is infected with diseased thoughts. The last handful of years for me has been sort of a testament to that Rolling Stones song about not getting what you want but getting what you need. I feel better about myself than I ever did in the past. My mind feels less infected which gives me some solace and hope for the future that I never had before. Or maybe this new found positivity is from all this free entertainment that technology has provided me?
When you’re infected by the thoughts of others you end up following the scripted method of living because you’re too scared to write your own and star in it. You’re scared it’s going to bomb so you stick to the equivalent of a film with a shitty story that is dependent on special effects.
To cure yourself you have to cut yourself off from what doesn’t feel good. The wrong people in your life are like viruses that invisibly contaminate you like an unsuspecting airborne disease. You don’t see or feel it coming. They are like the dangerous drugs that haven’t been researched. They give you some pleasure and relief but ultimately they slowly take your life away without you knowing it. Every so often you’ll be tempted to have that one dance with disease but it can end up ruining so much of your progress. I’ve entertained the temptation but I have the foresight now to know it will be a shitty ending. At least I believe I do.
Curing yourself from the thoughts of other people is a slow process because it’s a natural one. If there was a synthetic pill made for this type of condition then things might be different. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to rough it out with bed rest. The change is so gradual that you won’t even notice yourself changing. It’s only when you reflect that it hits you. When you’re less consumed with being someone you’re not then you will move closer to being the person you want to be.