There was a woman today who took offense to an inconsiderate driving action that I made, so much so that she called me a “fucking dickhead” with her 1 second of opportunity as I passed her. She was trying to turn around on a somewhat busy side street and I just passed her instead of stopping to let her complete her move. If I could do it over again I would have stopped but at the time I wasn’t really thinking…I saw an opening and I just took it. You probably think I sound like a dickhead. Maybe even a fucking dickhead. I guess one could also say that maybe she shouldn’t have tried to turn around if she couldn’t do it in one motion.
Of course, she has to follow me and pull out her phone to take pictures of my license plate to report me to my company because no one gets to cross her and only get away with being called a “fucking dickhead.” And of course when she does call in to complain, she will leave out the part where she calls me a “fucking dickhead.”
If I murdered her with my fire extinguisher, the media would call it a senseless murder by a crazy person which it would be but they would still leave out the part where she called me a “fucking dickhead.” That’s just it though, you never know if you are cussing off a crazy person or someone who would kick your ass. A good chunk of people go through their whole lives never experiencing violence that they think it can’t happen to them.
They’ll broadcast a memorial on the 6 o’clock news that will show her friends crying and telling stories about how she was the sweetest person who would give the shirt off her back to a stranger. How is it all these people who are so nice get murdered for apparently no reason?
I’ll be in jail and it will never be made public that she called me a “fucking dickhead.”