Feeling incompetent or what is commonly referred to as a ‘loser’ is often related to your age and where you are in life. It’s almost as if the rite of passage at whatever age is just a gateway to not feel like a loser.
You’re 25 and you still haven’t…….
You’re 40 and still…..
I’m not sure why it matters but regardless, a good number of people won’t respect you unless if your accomplishments match up with your age. Obviously it’s some kind of unwritten marker that has been set by society because it doesn’t make much sense. I guess some primitive wiring in us makes us want to shun the incompetent. If someone is nowhere near our level in life then they are probably not much use to us.
We’re a very numbers based species. It’s all about how much, how long and how many. We use numbers to gauge performance, worth and people.
I remember the pressure in my early 20’s above all else was to become ‘someone.’ I had this goal of wanting a career and being en route to marriage by the age of 25. That goal was set so that I could solidify my place far away from loserville, so I thought. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you’ll know how far from that goal I am at age 35. By most people’s standards, I should now be where I wanted to be when I was 25 or at least halfway there in some form. Currently, I’m a very competent 22 year old.
Every once in a while at work and maybe quite regularly, a new hire past the age of 40 will walk through the doors and everyone in their 20’s is thinking, I wouldn’t want to be that guy. It’s demoralizing to be in the same position as a bunch of kids because you know they’re judging you. Plus it’s like being potty trained by your nephew. It might be immature to care about what a bunch of kids are probably thinking about you but it’s just not a positive environment to be in.
If it’s too difficult to find something or someone to fulfill you spiritually then the next option is to find something or someone to fulfill you in your place with society. I suppose life is often a race to not feel like a loser even though we all end up dying in the end.
I don’t really live by all this mumbo jumbo but it is real and sometimes maybe you have to play along at least just a little bit. To let yourself be tortured by these unwritten rules is an injustice to yourself and your life. If your place in your world is dictated by this gauge then you have to know that your membership needs to be regularly renewed because it can expire at any time. There’s not a lot of loyalty in the program no matter how many points you have accumulated.