Having kids or wanting to have kids is the motivation behind most people’s lives. Wanting to have kids is an assumed truth like not wanting to kill yourself. People generally assume that you want them. Some people lie and say they don’t want to have kids but that’s because they are in their 30’s and single, and don’t want to appear that they are failing in life.
In my young adult life, I kind of thought I wanted kids but that was because I didn’t really think. I also thought I wanted to get married, have a boring career that paid okay and have a mortgage. The idea was that I wanted what I thought I was supposed to want. The truth was I never really wanted any of those things but I didn’t know that at the time so I measured my life on how much closer I was to achieving them.
None of my friends would ever talk about wanting kids in the future so I always thought that it wasn’t a real goal of theirs. Little did I know it was exactly what they wanted and it was the motivator behind all their life’s efforts. All this time they were planning for the future. No wonder why they were so motivated. I knew everyone wanted a girlfriend but it never occurred to me they also wanted kids. I guess people don’t really mention it until they cross that bridge.
There’s various reasons on why people want kids but I think a big one is filling in that gap between ages 30 to 50 and beyond. The thought that comes to most people’s head is what else am I going to do? The unknown is scary and there is no guidebook or beaten path to follow for people who are childless. It’s almost set in stone for parents from day one what steps they plan to take. Work, feed your kids, beat your kids and work some more. Of course it doesn’t always go as planned but there’s always direction even if you veer off course. Having kids is the safest method for being socially accepted.
Life was easier in your teens and 20’s because there was sort of a set course to follow. You’re in grade 10, the next year you will go to grade 11 and then grade 12. No discussion about it. You finish high school, go to college, have fun, start drinking alcohol, try to get with girls, get a job. After you’ve done all of that for a while, what’s next if you don’t have kids? I mean, what’s next that’s really motivating?
They say once you have kids it will change your life for the better and that you won’t be able to picture your life without them. The same is often said after having survived cancer. As true as that may be, I think I’ll opt for the non-cancer route.
A person who does not want children is free to follow their passions but the problem is that most people don’t have a passion. Life tells us that we all do but for most of us our passions are really just hobbies at best. Other times they are just interests.
I have this idea I can do whatever I want no matter how silly it appears to the general public and that’s the way I should be living. I should be living a life that will make other people look at me funny and ask, what the fuck are you doing?