What it Means to be a Lifer

Lifer someone who is going to spend the rest of their working life at their current place of employment

(source: Mr Johnson’s Dictionary)

Being called a lifer is considered an insult to those who still have hope for a better tomorrow. At least you have a job might be better than being homeless but there’s always something out there that’s looking to bring you down in life. You might be the boss of someone but someone is the boss of you. The piss trickles down and there’s always something that’s going to piss on you. A job pisses on homelessness but a job gets pissed on by feeling like a lifer.

Being labeled as a lifer is depressing because it’s almost the same as admitting that a big part of your life is over. That part of your life is dead because it’s not going anywhere. You might as well just kill yourself now because your life is never going to be any different besides the maggots of time chewing away at whatever face you have left.

My coworker called me a lifer today. He said it with much conceited confidence like he would about the sun rising tomorrow. His thoughts are not irrational because generally people who stay at my company as long as I have don’t leave. I’ve had other coworkers say the same thing to me. Where are you going to go? The idea is that once you’ve spent the years to get to a certain wage, you won’t have the stones or the mental illness to drop it for less. That’s the unfortunate situation of the uneducated working class. Those with professions can move to other employers and expect the same pay or possibly more. When you’re an unskilled worker you have to start from the bottom every time. Even if I left my company and was hired back in the near future, they would treat me like I was some bum they never met.

Also, when you make a deal with the devil to have kids and a mortgage then you have no choice but to lay there and take the thrusts from behind whenever and however they deliver it to you. To make that deal is giving yourself a life sentence and an open invitation for your boss or bosses to have a party in your asshole.

The unskilled worker gets more pay the longer they stay otherwise the company would have a difficult time attracting new employees. They want you to quit when your wage gets to high though because the truth is any bum off the street could do an unskilled job just as well once they have been doing it for 6 months to a year. Why pay someone more for the same quality of work if you don’t have to? This is how a lifer is created. They get put in a position that makes all other options seem ridiculous in terms of money.

I’m guilty solely by suspicion and have been sentenced to life without sufficient evidence by a jury of coworkers who have no chance of parole. The only bloody footprint they have is the assumed truth that I think like them and want what they want. I promise to stun the jury who are also the inmates like they are getting fucked up the ass from left field without lubrication. While they are marking the days off of their sentence, I am engineering my escape in secret but I’m not taking anyone with me.


7 comments on “What it Means to be a Lifer

  1. B. J. Hollywood says:

    Albert Einstein worked as an assistant clerk in the patent office in Bern, Switzerland for years, during which time he wrote his dissertation and four other seminal papers. That ‘mindless’ job, that supported he and his wife and their children, allowed him time to read and think about other things. Even theoretical physicists have to eat, man. Cheers, B. J.


    • MrJohnson says:

      That’s what he gets for getting married and having kids..lol. Think about what he would have accomplished if all those responsibilities didn’t suck up all his time.

      I highly doubt the average lifer or average working stiff is writing any dissertations or seminal papers. People can be proud lifers if they want to…it’s understandable. Being a lifer is not for everyone though.


      • B. J. Hollywood says:

        No, not at all. I cut out as quickly as i could. : )


        • MrJohnson says:

          In my early 20’s I thought for sure I wanted to be a lifer if the pay was right. I guess thinking before living is not really knowing. Now the thought of being a lifer disgusts me.


          • B. J. Hollywood says:

            Yes, beautifully said. You have to ‘do’ to really ‘know’. The way of the Buddha, man. You can’t renounce what you’ve never known. You really are a great writer, just don’t let it go to your head. It might overheat in that fur cap. : )

            Liked by 1 person

  2. cctyker says:

    “Lifer” used to mean a person who stayed in the military for 20 years and got a fat income the rest of his life. It was attractive because it provided life-long security in an insecure world.

    Likewise, a person who worked for a company for 20 years used to be called a loyal employee. And most company “lifers” were proud they kept their job thru thick and thin. So were their families.

    This all before government cradle to grave handouts. Government handouts were not security; job longevity was security. Lose your job and you faced a serious problem. No one or government rescued you and your family. All you had was family to help you till you found another job.

    Did companies take advantage of employees? You bet, but only as much as the market would allow. The truly mean spirited companies found it hard to find employees and to keep them. Employees would retaliate in some way, and they would be gone as soon as a better job opened up.

    Employees looked for a good “lifer” job before government hand outs.


    • MrJohnson says:

      Perhaps people today are more obsessed with being glamorous rather than just having an means to an end. I don’t think being a loyal employee stands for much these days. I hear the term used here and there but it’s become one of those terms that don’t seem to mean much.
      You’d have to be pretty unmotivated to see a government handout as a plan B.

      I can’t say for certain but I don’t think lifers today are proud to have kept their jobs for so long. I get the feeling that they feel they just did what they felt they had to do but don’t feel proud about it.


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