The Day is Done

When given the time to do nothing, often we do nothing. If you’re doing nothing it can often mean you’re thinking. For whatever reason the unpleasant thoughts often overshadow the joyful ones. We’re constantly thinking about how to improve our lives and we worry about how our lives might get worse in some way or another. The good thoughts are like hitchhikers…they pop up here and there but they don’t get picked up for the long ride. Then again, this could just be how my brain operates but most people don’t pick up hitchhikers.

On paper and in our heads, anything that saves us time and energy is what we want. I was without a car today because I brought it to the auto mechanics. I woke up earlier because I had to walk to work and I had to walk home too in blazing hot weather. On my way home I stopped off at Walmart with all the other low class citizens and then at Wendy’s after for a burger(ice water, no fries). By the time I got home it was 7pm. I took a shower, cooled off, changed into some dry underwear and walked to the mechanics to pick up my car. $609..yay.  Home again and it’s 9:30pm. The day is basically done now.

If my days were like this every day, I don’t know if I’d have much time to dwell on my thoughts. Always being on the go and then being exhausted at the end of the day makes you want to leave your brain on standby mode. It wasn’t a hard day just a busy one.  Another positive is that it kept me from drinking wine. Of course, I can find ways to keep myself busy and have my days always be like this one but I would feel like a fool to do so. My thoughts would gravitate to the thought of, I could be doing nothing right now.

Maybe too much time is poison for one’s life. It’s funny that what we think we want is often what ends up hurting us. I’m sure there’s a Buddhist proverb that supports this.

Thoughts on Gay Marriage

Gays celebrating the right to marriage is the same as anyone in the world celebrating the right to have cancer. Sometimes being equal is not a good thing. Are they so obsessed with having equal rights that they are blinded by the statistics. This marriage thing hasn’t really worked out so well. If you didn’t have the opportunity to learn from your own mistakes then you should be thankful if you get the chance to learn from others. About 40% of marriages don’t last and you want to celebrate the opportunity to participate? And just because 60% don’t completely fail it doesn’t mean that they are all happy marriages. No one walks out of the doctor’s office feeling joy knowing that they only have a 40% chance of dying.

Gay people don’t know how good they had it. Now that they’re allowed to be married, they’re going to have to deal with the social stigma of not being married. They’re also going to have to deal with the pressure from their partner to get married and the possible consequence of getting divorced and having half their assets taken away. This is more of a win for the anti-gay population because now gay people get to suffer like the rest of us.

Women and Diamonds

When I like to think about my pre-30 year old self of not being an idiot, that thought gets demolished when I think about the time when I bought a diamond ear stud. Can one be anymore pretentious? I rationalized the purchase by telling myself that diamonds will always have value so I couldn’t really lose. In the end, I ended up losing it.

My little rock was small cheese compared to what my friends bought for their wives. Everyone was spending $10,000 to $30,000 on diamond engagement rings for what is considered in our society a symbol of love. When you spend that much on something that doesn’t do anything, you either have money and/or you are stupid.

I don’t know where these stupid rules come from like the one where the cost of the engagement ring should be 3 months of your income. So if you make $40,000 a year you should buy a ring that costs $10,000? If your girlfriend expects this kind of behaviour you should dump her because she is selfish and obviously doesn’t operate on a rational mindset. If you’re a guy and you subscribe to this kind of thinking then you should punch yourself.

But of course, desperate times call for desperate measures. The fear of being alone or stigmatized makes a person give in to irrational ideas. It’s understandable but it doesn’t make you any less of a pussy.

A very funny clip from comedian Bill Burr.

6am is for Sad Saps

Daily Prompt: The Golden Hour

6:00AM: the best hour of the day, or too close to your 3:00AM bedtime?

To be awake at 6am means you either have a job that starts at 7am (8am if you’re a woman) or you are an old geezer. In my 20’s I would stay out until the AM hours knowing that I would have to suffer the next day at work. It’s amazing what spirit and being an unaware person can allow you to do.

I’d rough it out every time with 3-4 hours of sleep thinking that it was justified because I was supposed to stay out late. Sleep is for the weak and you can do it when you’re dead, they say. Well, I was weak and I felt like I was walking dead.

We all have priorities in life and when you are in your 20’s those priorities may revolve around some ideology that doesn’t make much sense. It’s all about experiences and you’re only young once. I don’t know, I think I would have benefited more from a good 8 hours of sleep. I think properly regulating your hormones is more important than being an idiot.

6am is fine during the summer season but during the winter it’s the darkest and coldest time of the day. You have no choice but to be miserable. I love scraping the ice off my windshield. There’s no smiles at 6am on a winter day. All you see is a few other sad saps illuminated by a street lamp contemplating killing their family so they no longer have to put up with this shit for another 30 years.

On my days off, if I’m up at 6am and can’t get back to sleep, my first thought is if I should smoke some weed to knock myself back out. It would be more of an occurrence if I could stink up the house but to put on some clothes and stand outside for a few minutes can be too much to ask sometimes.

To have to be up at 6am means you are insanely motivated or you have no options in life but to wake up at an ungodly hour. 6am is when all the cocaine addicts turn in, the hookers clock out and sad saps scraping ice off their windshield. 6am is for the devil.

Transgender Washrooms

Since there is a rainbow logo on the WordPress site today, I feel inspired to write about a transgender issue. I think Vancouver is considered a progressive city and one of the issues around here is gender-neutral public washrooms for transgender people. In typical LGBT fashion, they have protested to have as many of these washrooms as possible in as many possible locations.

It’s a fairly common news story where some person talks about their less than pleasant experiences with identifying as a transgender person and the theme is how the rest of the world should be accommodating them. As much as I appreciate the issues that a transgender person faces, it’s difficult to justify all this attention when they make up such a small percentage of the population.

The LGBT population is estimated at around 5% in North America. My guess is that the LG makes up most of it and the B probably out numbers the T. Although they would probably have you believe that the number is much higher than 5%. So what is the percentage of transgenders? 1%? Probably less? That’s a real small population to be bending over backwards for. Let’s face it…the T’s had to band up with the LGB’s because their population is so insignificant.

I’m sure short men make up a larger population than the LGB and T population but do we get urinals and toilets catered to us? I’m 5’6″ and sometimes those public toilets are borderline too high for me to flat foot the ground. I want to straddle a urinal like all those average people. And what about the ‘little people?’ What do they do? I’ve never seen a urinal or toilet made for a midget. They have to piss in a bottle and then pour the piss down the sink. That’s only if they’re feeling nice about it. If I were a midget I’d piss in a bottle and then throw it against the wall in disgust. I guess they could ask someone to lift them up while they pee but how embarrassing is that? Do they have to bring a ladder everywhere they go in case they have to defecate?

If you have a dick then you go to the men’s washroom even if you’re wearing a dress. If you have an operation and get that dick changed to a vagina then you deserve to be able to go to the women’s washroom. If you just feel like a woman who is trapped inside a man’s body then I don’t know what to say. You’re like a slacker who wants something but doesn’t want to put in the work but feels entitlement because of our wussified world. If the dwarfs aren’t protesting then the transgenders should defecate in silence and be satisfied that their legs aren’t dangling from the toilet.

You’re Just Supposed to Know

Here in Canada and possibly in America, there’s a thing called Wing Wednesday and it’s not a day where you get to meet a bunch of Chinese guys. The deal is that chicken wings at pubs and other restaurants are discounted. Most likely the idea is that you come in for the cheaper wings but also order alcoholic beverages. If you just order water they will likely hate you for your alleged cheapness. No where does it ever state that you have to buy a drink but they expect you to know better.

I find that much of this North American culture revolves around putting the onus on the customer to know the unwritten rules. If you want people to buy a drink with an order of wings then you should just say so. You don’t go to a bar and not buy a drink. Really? Where does it say that? That’s your problem for trying to appear nicer than you really are.

When you order food at a restaurant, often they will try to up-sell you on gravy, bacon or some other add-ons. Would you like gravy with that? Of course I do. Is it free? No? Then why don’t you tell me the cost of gravy and I’ll tell you if I want it. Last time they upsold me on mushrooms with my pot roast dinner it costed me $4.50 extra and there definitely wasn’t anything psychedelic about them. Screw you and your 2 mushrooms cut up to look like many.

Of course there’s the whole tipping thing that only North America does. You don’t learn in school that you’re supposed to tip at least 15% at a restaurant. You’re just supposed to know this by some sort of word of mouth. If I’m supposed to tip 15% then why don’t you just add it to the menu price so no one ever has any chance of walking out a cheap asshole. Instead, we play this game of the server being nice and the patron is supposed to reward her for it. When the rest of the world doesn’t do what you do it means your system is retarded. If your country is the only developed country in the world that does not have universal health care it means your country is ran by assholes.

Payment by donation is the worst.

How much does it cost?

It’s by donation

So you’re trying to capitalize on the guilt factor of humans instead of taking responsibility for your own pricing. How about you give me price…I pay you.

Then there’s fundraisers where you’re supposed to participate in activities that cost money but no one really says you have to. Again, you’re supposed to know. I thought buying a ticket was all I had to do? Why don’t you just charge me for the 50/50 raffle tickets with the entrance fee if you expect me to buy raffle tickets?

I bet no undeveloped country pulls these moves on people. No poor person would take the chance that someone is just going to buy more when they don’t have to.

Everybody and Nobody is a Somebody

A big reason why some TV shows in the pre-internet era had millions of viewers was because of the options available to the viewing public at a given time slot and the availability of other media. All the ‘good shows’ were always on between 8 pm and 10 pm and there were only a few big TV networks to choose from. There were other channels available but most of them either sucked or were geared towards old people. Late night talk shows were kind of cheesy but there weren’t a lot of options at 11:30 pm.

I’m not sure if the pie is being cut up to smaller pieces or if the pie has just become bigger. Are we replacing more of the old types of media or are we spending more of our time consuming more media on top of what we used to? Are people skipping Conan O’Brien for YouTube or are they just watching clips of his show on the internet at a different date and time?

There’s a new type of entertainer out there and that’s you, me and millions of other no-namers who produce their own content in their bedroom wearing only their underwear. We might not be famous but we have a bit of that pie. There are many no-namers who are famous in their niches and are making a good living.

There’s this fairly new phenomenon that’s been going on that blew my mind. People are making a 6 digit income by live streaming themselves playing video games. They will have this amateur studio setup in their bedroom and people all over the world will donate money online to watch them play a certain video game. Why? Just because they are really good at that game and nerds get off on watching their skills. From what I’ve heard, being a likable person is a factor on how much money you earn since the gamer interacts with their fans by voice and text chat. It’s basically their own show that can also generate money from the number of views and subscribers, just like YouTube.

Of course, if you are an attractive gamer girl you can earn some serious money. You don’t have to be that good. You just need a decent face and a set of nice cans. You can also do side gigs in between games for donations such as jiggling your tits. Before the internet, there was a massive market of unlovable males who would ‘donate’ money for any type of interaction with a female but their only options were 1-900 numbers and prostitutes. With the internet they can be perverts of the lowest level without the discomfort of being judged.

If you’re curious about this whole gaming for dollars industry you can learn more about it on this Joe Rogan Podcast with a pro-gamer.

Quitting your Job is like Suicide

Can you pull the trigger? It’s easy to say with confidence what you will do or what you would do but when it comes time that barrel chest you once stuck out becomes a saggy deflated left breast. We can take the easy steps towards the final destination but to take that final step through that door and have it close behind you is equivalent to 100 miles. Sometimes it’s more about the destination than the journey.

Attempting suicide and not succeeding is the same as writing a resignation letter and not handing it in. You thought about it, maybe seriously considered it but you couldn’t quite do it. Loading the gun is easy and so is putting it to your head but that last small movement with your index finger…not so much. Swallowing a few pills and wanting to die is like hoping to get laid off with severance…you’re trying to get off easy.

To be fully confident that you will be okay without your current job takes a bit of rational mathematical work but also a few steps away from the primitive mind that has been operating on a system of fear for over a hundred thousand years. Being separated from your employment without new employment is interpreted as suicide if it’s by your own actions. Getting fired is like being ousted by the tribe.

When you kill your employed-self, quite often you are not saying goodbye to life but instead saying goodbye to a lifestyle which to many is synonymous with life.

Flying for Freedom

They say sex and flying are what people will usually want to do when having a lucid dream. Sex is what a lot of people would want to do even when they are awake. It’s understandable in evolutionary terms since the strong desire for sex is how people have continued to exist. I suppose sex is no longer needed, now that we can use turkey basters to perpetuate the species. But before turkey basters and science, sex was the only way.

Flying on the other hand is something we could never do and still can’t for the most part. You can get on a plane or strap on a hang glider but what we all want to really do is fly like Superman. We want to fly through the skies at high speeds but also be able to maneuver like a mermaid in the sea.

So what is this deep yearning to fly in our dreams all about? What does it represent in real life? Perhaps a human’s desire to feel free is as strong as the desire for sex. To be free in the skies where gravity is not even a force that can reckon with you is complete freedom. To be able to tell people to screw off and then fly away is some next level shit.

Down on the ground where reality is, our main objective is to escape from a life that always seems to be trying to hold us down. We want to spread our wings and fly but the leashes that have either been forced on us or chosen by us only lets us get as high as the tree house then we have to come back down for dinner at 6 or we don’t get dessert.

Motivational Drag

Many of my days off start off with the same thoughts. What do I need to do today? What do I want to do today? What do I need to do but can put off another day?

Quite often I will defer these thoughts by searching for stimulation with my smartphone. I’m not the most positive or motivated person but even I love inspiration. Apparently, youtube thinks I do too from what it thinks I might be interested in. Maybe youtube knows me better than I do. For damn sure it’s smarter than I am. It knows what I want before I finish typing the first word.

After watching 30 minutes of different inspiring content, I continued to be inspired to lay in bed. Still, I mentally feel better. I wondering if I just watched and listened to nothing but motivation/inspirational content, if it would change my life or at least my attitude. We’ve all listened to motivational content but it’s definitely a small part of our lives. Potato chips probably play a bigger role. If you’re eating potato chips right now and reading my blog, you may have hit rock bottom.

I think it would be difficult to listen to hours of motivational content every day given that humans only do what is easy, necessary or stimulating. Thinking about listening to Anthony Robbins every day doesn’t sound super appealing. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be beneficial but there are so many other forces fighting for my attention.

We become our environment and if we are constantly surrounded by positivity, chances are we will become more positive. Sooner or later the stars will align and you will fall into a positive trap no matter how negative you usually are. It’s easy to rationalize that nothing will happen from your positive mindset because it does require faith. Faith is believing without having rational evidence to justify it.

Taking the positive route is difficult because our alternate options of doing nothing are always so readily available. The numbing effects of TV, internet and alcohol seduce us into doing nothing else. Comfort wins 9 times out of 10.

I don’t know if this post has been a motivational post or just a post about motivation and the lack of it. As long as I feel some guilt for procrastination or for succumbing to the forces of technology, it means I haven’t totally given up on living a different life.