Blogging Guilt

For most of us our minds are like a prison of thoughts.  Some of the inmates are in there for life.  Some get day-passes, sometimes regrettably, and others will never see the outside world.  I like to think of my mind as a minimum security prison where the thoughts can easily break out but they really aren’t all that dangerous.  Often, when the prisoners break out they carry a bit of guilt with them.

If you get a following of more than 2 readers, you can be sure that you will be apprehensive with writing about certain topics. Even with no following you might be fearful of offending some passer-by of your blog.  You may think that I write freely but I hold a lot back and when I don’t there’s guilt that comes along with it.

When ever I write anything to do with race, obesity, suicide and other taboo issues, I think about who might get offended and tame it down a bit.  Sometimes people will find you offensive when you have a not so positive opinion or joke towards a certain group.  To me, if the famous stand up comedians can say what they say through public media then there should be no shame to do the same on blogs.  Still, I feel guilt because I may have lured a reader to my online dwelling through writings that are not always consistent with this blog.  They may have came because they thought I was always going to be humorous most of the time but I end up throwing multiple posts of melancholy and vice versa.

There’s no real theme to this blog as per the title, Everything and Nothing.  The personality of it is the same as your personality.  Sometimes you’re happy, sad, depressed, confused or whatever.  I’d be disgusted with myself if it just reflected one mood because then I would feel like a fraud.  I’m terrified of being labeled as disingenuous.  I would rather be rejected.

Although we don’t know each other in real life, your lovely gravatar pictures, comments and your blog posts are enough to make a connection.  It sucks that at least one of you is fat, happy, married, divorced, poor, white, gay, old, religious, vegan, Muslim, hairy or something else.  I can stick to writing only about myself but even then I feel guilt for provoking sympathetic comments. The only safe theme here seems to be of one of positivity and cheerfulness. Even in that situation you could be making depressed people feel bad.

One of the cliched statements I have learned since blogging is, write for yourself and write what you know.  Okay then, I know how to be silly, disgusting, humorous and depressing.  When you pay me I will write for you but until then I will just have to live with the guilt.

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26 comments on “Blogging Guilt

  1. B. J. Hollywood says:

    The ‘fat, happy, married, divorced, poor, white, gay, old, religious, vegan, Muslim, hairy or something else’ all share a common humanity. Write about that and no one will be offended. Within this realm, you know everyone as well as you know yourself, your common humanity – good, bad and everything in between.

    Like

    • MrJohnson says:

      There’s always reason for someone to be offended especially if you have an opinion or try to be humorous. Just writing about the reality of anything can be offensive because it’s not what people want to hear even though it’s the truth. Once you make some kind of relationship with other bloggers, they may think it’s a personal attack on them when it’s not.

      Like

      • B. J. Hollywood says:

        I hear you. I tone it down in my posts, too. The fact is everyone is prejudiced – everyone. It’s normal and natural, part of our survival instinct – really. You just can’t be perfectly tolerant and accepting all the time, it’s not human. Maybe everyone should just accept that we are human and flawed, then we can just make mistakes and apologize for them, and move on. A ‘perfect human’ is an oxymoron.

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      • B. J. Hollywood says:

        P.S. Did you know your wordpress handle ‘Mr. Johnson’ is an old slang word for penis?

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        • MrJohnson says:

          Haha.. I know ‘Johnson’ is but didn’t know Mr. had anything to do with it. I kind of randomly picked it so that no one I know would think it was me.

          My old friend used say ‘Johnson’ a lot.

          Like

          • B. J. Hollywood says:

            Adding ‘Mr.’ is just sort of a sign of repect for, you know, a really big one…Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…

            Like

            • MrJohnson says:

              I wonder if everyone has been thinking that I’m a pervert. I was just trying to conceal my Asian identity with a white surname.

              Liked by 1 person

            • B. J. Hollywood says:

              No, everyone just thinks you have a big dong, or that you think you have a big dong, or that you want everyone else to think you have a big dong. Which is all right, I think.

              Like

            • MrJohnson says:

              HA! You got me, BJ.

              Like

            • B. J. Hollywood says:

              You’re cute. The fur hat’s a little pervy to lower 48ers, but I’m from Alaska where everything is weird (pervy), so it’s all right. Don’t change a thing. You make me homesick for the North.

              Liked by 1 person

  2. cctyker says:

    An essay, a blog, a journal — what else is there that expresses personal thoughts and attitudes?

    Henry D Thoreau, who wrote Walden Pond, wrote mostly in the style of a journal. He talked about himself all the time.

    He didn’t talk about his moods or fears much; nor did her talk about his relation to women. Historians surmise he had little relation to women. He was a loner, a walker, a botanist by curiosity, a philosopher in the Transcendental movement, and a financial leach off his parents and off friend Ralph Waldo Emerson. (No one knows if he was a masturbator or not.)

    None of which seems relevant to what you wrote I guess, but he spoke his mind within socially permissible ways of the time. Fear of Rejection or Ridicule never seemed to enter his writings. He was a Harvard graduate who would not pay the $5 to get the official paper Degree to put on his wall. How’s that for an ego trip?

    I seem to think you worry too much about what others think and how they will “take” your writing. Consider being like Thoreau; write because you have something to say and you love writing.

    Thoreau said he always had one reader — himself. That seemed to be all he needed. Is that called egomania?

    Liked by 1 person

    • MrJohnson says:

      I do worry about what people think about what I write not because of the validity of my writing but how it might make them feel. I’ve sort of made friends through this blog and just like in real life you want to be considerate of the feelings of your friends. Most of the time I will say what I want even though it doesn’t make me feel that great about it. I just have to say ‘fuck it’ sometimes and publish for the sake of self-expression. It’s true that I do care too much about what others think but that is more of an issue in my real life. It’s probably my #1 downfall. I’ve never lived up to my potential in any aspect of life even when given the opportunity and quite possibly never will.

      Liked by 2 people

      • lightpuma says:

        LOL you know something I always think but haven’t told you yet?… You actually really remind me of my older brother. When I first read some of your posts, I thought you might actually be him. And every time I read your blog it always reminds me of the way he is.

        Even though you publish things that may be offensive, you’ve made it clear that you’re not aiming to hurt anyone’s feelings. I think that’s a kind and courteous gesture, and for me personally, I don’t feel like I would need an explanation beyond this.

        Like

      • MrJohnson says:

        Lightpuma (heavy breathing)…I am your brother.

        Like

  3. jenanita01 says:

    You provide food for thought, and we cannot really ask for more than that. Not on a Sunday morning, any way..

    Like

  4. That you are receiving sundry comments signals you are effective in rousing sentiments, through your writing, from us your readers — which, moreover, can be telling of your blog’s success.

    Like they say, becoming well-known has its price :-). Maybe you need not take opposing views as an incursion to your disposition or mentality.

    And I’ve noticed you are gaining readers who are empathetic enough to appreciate you for who you are and even try to extend an arm to whatever struggles you are undergoing. I’m sure you discern no true blog pal of yours would want to encourage thoughts inside you that probably want to go through with suicide. Nor would anyone who has even a morsel of concern would nurture any degree of one’s habit that could be harmful to health.

    As I’ve mentioned several times before, I love your blog. Write for yourself, and your real readers would stick by you no matter what.

    Liked by 1 person

    • MrJohnson says:

      Even online relationships seem to have their challenges. Being worried about offending people is tiresome in this life. We put on this mask all day at work, when we buy stuff and to a large extent with the people we know. The truth is that a lot of people do get offended easily or have sensitivities towards certain aspects of their life. I’m always thinking there might be a chance a reader might think I’m writing a post directed to them when I’m not. Most of the time I feel bad when bloggers with happy-like blogs read not so happy posts on my blog. Some people feel an obligation to follow you when you follow them even when your blogs are complete opposites.

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  5. lightpuma says:

    Loool this same thing has been on my mind recently…This is definitely something I think about when I write, too. There’s that whole idea of political correctness, not offending anyone, not being disrespectful somehow… Sometimes the most unexpected things come across to others as offensive. I usually try to stay on the safe side, granted it requires a lot of vigilance since nothing you say will ever be okay with absolutely everyone.

    I think anyone familiar with your blogs wouldn’t take offence at your style. Your prison-break thoughts are what make your blog unique, and that’s why I always find myself coming back to it, even after instances where I might feel offended. It’s refreshing to read your honest and unfiltered critique of life.

    “Although we don’t know each other in real life, your lovely gravatar pictures, comments and your blog posts are enough to make a connection.”
    I actually visited Vancouver for the first time last month, and several times you came to mind. I was like damn I don’t know anyone here… but does that Mr.Johnson guy count? He’s a real person who lives in Vancouver, right? So technically I DO know someone who lives here… And every time I passed a UPS truck, I subtly tried to see if there was an Asian guy driving ;).

    Like

    • MrJohnson says:

      It’s flattering to hear that you come back here like it’s a drug habit that you can’t kick. I think a blog differs from other types of media because of this online community that can occur and the personal feelings that can come with it.

      I guess you know me..haha. You were looking at the wrong truck though. I don’t wear a brown uniform, I wear the other one 😉

      What was going on in Vancouver?

      Like

      • lightpuma says:

        For a year or two, my mom had been wanting to leave the prairies, and Vancouver had been on her mind. No one had been serious about it though. None of us had ever been that far west, and the entire idea seemed wishful at best.

        But one day, after hearing my mom complain about the weather and congested social situation, and adding that she was only there for our education, I was like you know what, I think you’ve suffered enough on our account. So I literally dropped all my classes, and was like okay, let’s do this. Let’s MOVE. It was insanely and almost irrationally spontaneous and totally uncharacteristic of the way we usually do things. I still can’t believe everything that’s happened since then.

        We were about to straight up take a moving truck to Vancouver, but then my brother convinced us to visit first and see how we like it. And I’m glad we ended up doing that because we realized that Vancouver wasn’t suitable for us (ex. traffic, rain, feeling closed in by all the hills, expenses, gut-wrenching drive through the moody mountains). It’s absolutely amazing to visit and I want to go again, but it’s not somewhere we’d want to live for the long term.

        The class-dropping was in February. We visited Vancouver in April.
        But LOL now we are in Calgary. Just moved here like literally three days ago. Part of me still can’t believe we just did that. It’s been an insane few months. It’s gonna be a while before my brain settles down and absorbs this all.

        Like

        • MrJohnson says:

          That’s a big change in life. Were you looking for a reason to drop your courses? haha

          Apparently it does rain a lot here and the housing situation is expensive. It doesn’t really snow(not one flake this year) or get that cold and that’s usually why people move here.

          Calgary should be good. Anywhere new is exciting.

          Like

          • lightpuma says:

            Our entire basement had flooded right in the beginning of the semester. That had left me disorganized, since half my things were now soaked in sewage. So when I heard my mom complaining about wanting to move, it just suddenly tipped a scale I didn’t even know was there, and I was like MAYBE THIS IS WHY this all happened… Maybe if the flooding hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be as willing to drop everything right away.

            Like

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