Women and Jobs

Recently, I was thinking about all my past jobs and realized that I lied on my resume for every single one of them.  Some were small lies and others were just completely orchestrated to give me some chance at obtaining the job.  The severity of my crimes are laughable to many and sometimes even considered admirable.  It’s been a successful strategy that has also made me realize that it’s the same game plan that will find you success with women.

I’ve never been one who lies about who he is in order to impress people outside of the employment field.  When dealing with employers, I have no intention of attaching myself personally with the company which allows me to lie freely and pretend that I am personable and confident.  When it comes to people, I feel this obligation to be honest to the point where I almost degrade myself to a complete loser.  I won’t even withhold the truth.  There’s this fear that I have that I will be viewed as a fraud so I lay it all out there which makes me appear insecure and weak.

If I brought my honest self to the job interview, he would tell them this…

I am only here because I need the money
I think this company sucks
You are lame
I hated all my other jobs
I have many weaknesses 

The magic formula is to sell yourself and to withhold anything that will hamper your chances of success.  Tell the job or woman what they want to hear and nothing of what they don’t want to.  By the time they found out you’re a liar, you would have passed probation and it will be easier for them to keep you around than to find someone else.  You win.  You’re an asshole but you win.  It’s not about luck, it’s about lying.  A guilty conscience is for losers.

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13 comments on “Women and Jobs

  1. Tina says:

    I tend to stick to reality on job applications and in relationships but I’m familiar with the methods you speak of.

    Like

    • MrJohnson says:

      Maybe you have sufficient credentials that allow you the freedom to always be honest 🙂

      Like

      • Tina says:

        I have a lot to offer now, not credentials but experience. Even on my first job application I stuck to the truth. I didn’t get the job that day. A friend of mine told me that if I really wanted that store clerk job to go back into that store and start organizing the merchandise properly on the shelves & racks, putting things where they go, helping customers find things, bringing in the shopping carts etc. On the third day they hired me. LOL

        Like

      • MrJohnson says:

        I’m glad to hear it worked out. You know, lying would have saved you all that extra trouble..haha

        Like

  2. Wanda says:

    Your honesty is hilarious in this instance.

    Like

  3. cctyker says:

    These days employers ask so many unnecessary questions and want to know so much about you, you just about have to lie. It’s like you are applying for the highest security clearance, a top secret cryptographic clearance, from the government just to be some cog in some wheel you don’t particularly care about.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jami says:

    Hahaha…yep I agree. Did you know that more successful people are optimists, which essentially means they are unrealistic to a point of delusion about their successes? Pessimists are more realistic, but far less successful. So go ahead, believe in the delusions you weave! Maybe they just come true. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • MrJohnson says:

      That would make sense. A pessimist wouldn’t try very hard whereas a optimist would try anything. I could see myself following a delusional path but I would know it’s delusional. There should be an inspirational quote that goes..’Give crazy a try because normal hasn’t been working’

      Like

  5. nakedshade says:

    I lied in my resume too..glad tat im not alone…ha ha

    Like

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