Mother’s Day…Nay

If I showed my mother any attention today, it might give her the impression that I think she was a good mother. Ignoring her on Mother’s Day is kind of like the same punishment that you give to a kid when you tell them to face the corner and think about what they did.

Many people today took their mother out for some kind of meal.  It’s thought of as special but all you are really doing is going to eat like you usually would except that today your mother is tagging along.  The idea is that it’s the thought that counts, I guess. Taking your mother out signifies that you either care for her or don’t want to feel shame.  You want to be able to say with confidence, “yes, I spent time with my mother on Mother’s Day” and you don’t want your mother to have to tell everyone that, “no, my kid didn’t do anything for me.”

Anyone reading this probably thinks that I’m an asshole and suffers from a few other issues.  You’re probably right. I don’t hate my mother but it bothers me to act like I really care about her.  I’m just not good at pretending.  I don’t even want to publish this post after writing it but I wrote it already.

So Happy Mother’s Day…to other mothers of course.  I don’t know, maybe I can muster up the nerves to survive a 1 minute phone call with her later tonight.  I’ve already given her the whole day to think about what she’s done.

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18 comments on “Mother’s Day…Nay

  1. lisafab says:

    Wow…your mom really must have F up…

    Like

    • MrJohnson says:

      I guess so but I can’t even completely blame her. It’s just an unfortunate situation.

      Like

      • lisafab says:

        If you can’t completely blame her…why not call her earlier in the day?? That sucks that it is “unfortunate situation.” Sounds like no fun =(

        Like

        • MrJohnson says:

          To completely blame her would be the same as blaming a mentally challenged kid for stabbing you in the eye. You may not completely blame them but you can still have resentment towards them because you’re still missing an eye.

          Like

          • lisafab says:

            hmmmm….ok…i guess…i hope I wouldn’t have resentment because i know a mentally challenged person doesn’t have the cability to know right from wrong…but I guess there is a possibility I could be resentful so I see where you are going with it…

            Like

  2. cctyker says:

    Acceptance makes a person feel better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • MrJohnson says:

      For whatever reason I’ve never really tried to accept. I just try to block out anything negative that happened but they resurface every so often and it’s too difficult to communicate with a sheltered immigrant to get closure on the matter.

      Like

      • lightpuma says:

        I’ve been in a similar situation with someone really close to me. I couldn’t get closure on the matter because open discussion wasn’t an option, so for many years I held it against them. It was a slowly boiling grudge that got intensely worse with time, until at some point, I realized I could forgive the person without having to talk to them about it.

        I forgave them because it gave me peace, and because no one is perfect and family always deserves another chance. I’m glad I did this because I’m no longer burdened by that emotional negativity, and my relationship with that person is healthy again. It’s extremely difficult to find forgiveness in your heart when there’s no external closure, but I think you can create your own closure and use it as a platform to rebuild your relationship.

        Like

      • MrJohnson says:

        Anything can happen. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

        Like

  3. Jami says:

    I think you’re bravely honest.

    Like

    • MrJohnson says:

      I agree that I’m honest. Not sure if it’s through bravery or lack of something else. And I’m not so sure honesty adds to your life more than it takes away from it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jami says:

        Hmm I think honesty adds because then you’re not holding your breath all the time. Dishonesty is like holding it in, to me. Of course, we can omit certain truths out of kindness, but even then. And besides I think not caring and getting to a point of nothing to lose (if that’s where you are) is also a sort of freedom and yes, a sort of courage.

        Liked by 1 person

        • MrJohnson says:

          I guess if being dishonest bothers a person then being honest is beneficial. I always wish I could be one of those people who are delusional about reality when they need to be.

          Whether we care or not, I think we all have nothing to lose because when we die there is no award for our accomplishments or years lived that we get to take with us. Depending on your beliefs regarding the afterlife.

          Like

  4. HappyApathy says:

    Family: You can’t live with them. You CAN live without them.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I have no idea as to your childhood story and what really happened between you and your mom.
    I hope you won’t mind if I share to you here my own experience as a mother. The topic is touching for me, nonetheless my comment is about myself — not to prove anything to anyone here. Because this is something I can’t share on my blog. Not yet.

    My son never made a move to reconcile with me after he moved out of our house when he got a job. He had been hinting at that for some time yet I never thought he’d be capable of actually doing it — i.e. leaving me. It was a complete shock — because we’re talking about a mother and son here who had been inseparable for 22 long years. I raised him by myself, provided for his welfare, and tried to give him my best, affection and all.

    I might have made mistakes and wasn’t a perfect mom, but it never occurred to me my son was keeping count only of my shortcomings and flaws. It never occurred to me his resentments has been building up and that he has been, for many months prior to his departure, looking forward to his independence and a new life without me.

    Now all he’s willing to manage is send me a brief, bland sentence through FB messaging. Quite heartbreaking (for me), yes. Although I just try to rationalize it with the fact I hadn’t been a good daughter to my parents either.

    I am sure in my son’s mind, my best wasn’t good enough. I understand my parents and parenthood more clearly now.

    Still, I can bravely say I treated my son so much better than my parents treated me. Yet I never thought I’d received a much harder slap. To this day, I keep on questioning myself where I really went wrong. All the same, what do I know about life, other than it can be this much “funny” and complex.

    Thanks, Mr Johnson, for letting me air a bit of my sob story here. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • MrJohnson says:

      This distance between you and your son is probably temporary. He might not even know exactly what he’s feeling. It might be just some kind of phase. I’m sure he’ll soon think about the ways that you cared for him in the past and will have a change of heart.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am hoping for that favorable change in his heart. It may or may not come, but I’ll try to be ok with any outcome of the situation between me and my son.

        Family relationships are indeed hard, and it took time for me to realize I shouldn’t have taken for granted my son would take my mistakes in stride.

        I am relieved this revelation wasn’t misconstrued. Thank you for your kind words, Mr Johnson.

        Like

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