Don’t Say “Nothing”

When Monday rolls around, the same old question and answer sessions happen at work.

How’s it going?

Not bad for a Monday

How you doing?

Good. The weekend went by way too fast

Yeah. I know what you mean

I’m against being so predictable so I’ll just grunt most of the time.

I hate it when random people at work ask me, what did you do over the weekend?  I hate it because I never really do much or I’m not interested in talking about it.  Most of the time I tell people I did nothing or not much, and some times they give me shit for it.

It’s taken me 3 decades of living to realize that honesty is not what people expect or want to give.  I can also see the cultural influence in people’s answers.  The idea is to always sound positive and also, just telling people that you did something or anything over the weekend will prevent you from looking like a weirdo.

After getting a hard time for saying I did not much over the weekend, I have to return the same question not for politeness but because I’m curious as to what they did that was so great that allows them to mock me.

“I went to Main St and had coffee with a friend.  Went for a bike ride.”

To me that’s like so fucking what?  I’m not saying I think it’s lame what other people do but it’s nothing to brag about.  I get it though.  I’m not playing the game and I’m not being socially acceptable.  If I did anything I should just tell people if they ask.  If I went for a long walk then I should tell them that I walked 10 km.  Then they would say, good for you.  If I had fun dissecting road kill then I probably shouldn’t say anything.

I feel like a fake though when I try to overplay anything. To me, just saying I walked 10 km or 30 km is overplaying. Other people don’t feel the same way because overplaying is part of their core values.  If they told you they ate dog shit, they would do it with a smile.

I guess I could tell them that I drank wine and wrote on my blog but then they would laugh at me and then tell everyone else at work to laugh at me.  Then they will go out of their way to find my blog and then really laugh at me when they find it.  Then I’d have to show up to work the next day and shoot everyone.

There have been a few people who have asked me, what did you do on the weekend? and before I say anything they will answer for me in a mocking tone, nothing.  I guess I could be vulgar and respond with, I fucked your mutha but that wouldn’t be very nice.

So the conclusion is that you can’t do ‘nothing’ with your days off.  Even if you do nothing you have to make it sound like something or they will think you are nothing.


17 comments on “Don’t Say “Nothing”

  1. BerLinda says:

    Do you have fun dissecting roadkill?? I’m lucky cos there’s always so much happening in Berlin, it’s almost impossible to do nothing! Though some weekends I feel like it!


  2. ntfcnicky says:

    The old faithful, ‘nothing much’, used in the typical conversation template with people whose opinions you really don’t give a shit about. I use it a lot. It’s the quickest way to kill a conversation and give yourself time to slip away.


    • MrJohnson says:

      You look and sound familiar. It’s been a while! You must be living life or been in the hospital with a coma. “Nothing much” sounds better than “nothing.” “Nothing” sounds negative like saying “bad” when someone asks you, “how are you doing?” People feel somewhat obligated to comment when you say “nothing” but “nothing much” will just, like you said, kill a conversation. Glad you dropped by. Missed having you around.


      • ntfcnicky says:

        Haha! Yeah, I sort of disappeared off the face of the earth for a bit. I deleted my old blog because it just turned into me moaning about life which wasn’t very entertaining. I saw one of your posts and I was like “Hey, I used to talk to that guy!” so yeah. Missed you too!


  3. B. J. Hollywood says:

    Hey, man. If they rag you for doing ‘nothing’, use my favorite, “Hey, I’m a human being, not a human doing.” I’m married to a grunter. He’s wonderful! I’d rather hear him grunt than most of what anyone else has to say. Cheers, B. J.


    • MrJohnson says:

      Ya, I’ll give them a lecture. That will teach them..haha. I suppose grunting in different tones can be amusing.


      • B. J. Hollywood says:

        Okay. I guess it is a rather long sentence and would seem like a ‘lecture’ to someone who prefers to grunt. And grunts in different tones have different meanings. Like the deep, short sarcastic grunt; the short, quiet, okay I am amused grunt; the long, slow…okay, I think I’ll stop there.


  4. kalyrical says:

    Same thing goes for getting back from Summer in my case for school. “Lazed around, played some computer games.” And then I get a pitiful look.


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