Online Dating Profiles

Even if you don’t have a proper profile set up on an online dating site, you probably have an anonymous one that you use to creep around (If you’re not with someone).  Online dating profiles are almost exactly the same as Facebook profiles except that there is a different motivation behind them.  The pictures are all the same.  Most people display photos that make them look like they have a life.   I guess a profile is just like a resume in that you show what you think you have to and also what you think people want to see.

A typical woman’s profile will sound something like this…

I have a job that I love
I’m ambitious

My friends and family come first
I’m well traveled 
I’m not into hookups
Don’t show me your dick

There’s not a lot of women out there who don’t want to have kids some day.  The only ones who don’t want kids are women who already have kids and who wants to deal with that situation.  If they only have a drug habit at least there’s a chance they can drop it.  Kids are like diamonds not because they sparkle but because they are forever.

I’m looking for a woman with small ambitions who doesn’t like their family and friends.  I guess one friend and a sister is okay.   There’s not a lot of profiles advertising themselves as loners not trying to ‘live life.’

Of course, there’s a lot of BS on people’s profiles.  If there’s not BS then there’s a great withholding of the truth.  Almost everyone indicates that they drink ‘socially’ but everyone indicates that they ‘never’ do drugs.  Ya fucking right.   Many people like to be secretive whether or not they want kids or not…’undecided’ or ‘I’ll tell you later.’

Apparently women don’t like a guy who doesn’t love his job or lives in his mom’s basement.  What if I live upstairs instead?  They also want a guy who knows what he wants out of life.  I thought being mysterious was an appealing quality?

What I’ve learned is that if you lower your standards enough there’s someone out there for you.  I think that would make great Hallmark card.  I’ve messaged with a few girls but never found any motivation to take it any further.  I guess because the conversations were not very stimulating and also they didn’t offer me sex right away.  It’s not that I think I’m too good for anyone.  I just don’t think anyone is good enough for me.



9 comments on “Online Dating Profiles

  1. lisafab says:

    Bahahaha…funny post…A woman who doesn’t like her family and friends….
    You are totallyright about the drink “socially” part…They need an option that says “I drink alone at night and I might/usually get drunk but I’m not an alcoholic cause I don’t do it every night.” (see right there, I first wrote usually but then said, no, that doesn’t sound good, add might).
    And I did mark “undecided” for the longest time on my profile…I think when a woman is in her 30s (especially early to mid 30s) and single, it’s a HUGE decision to not want to have kids. For me, it was like I could have them or not…that was why I was undecided. Now 40, it’s a no brainer NO. I do have a few cousins who are in their mid 30s and they don’t want to have kids either.


    • MrJohnson says:

      People just aren’t themselves when they have friends and family to influence them…haha…. “It’s a package deal”…..go fuck yourself

      And some of those women must smoke weed sometimes. I think almost all women want to have kids during the ages you mentioned but they just say ‘undecided’ in case they have to settle for someone who comes along who doesn’t want kids. It just opens up a bigger market. It’s like listing 20 ‘interests’ you enjoy doing but they don’t actually do them more than once every 5 years.

      Ya mid-thirties is about the time most begin to throw in the towel. The only time I thought I wanted kids was when I never thought about it. Kind of like when people ask if you recycle and your automatic answer is ‘yes.’

      Liked by 1 person

  2. BerLinda says:

    When I joined a Latvian dating site, I got so many dick pics. Why do guys think we want that!? I’m having a glass of wine right now and I don’t want kids – would you date me? 😉


  3. I just fixed my online dating profile stating I don’t have a job and really just want fodder for my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lately I’ve been thinking about hanging around abortion rallies. That way I’ll stand a good chance of finding someone who doesn’t want the same thing I don’t want.


    • MrJohnson says:

      Hmmm..well, there should be a higher rate of that demographic at such an event but maybe they’re at the rally because of a kid they wish they aborted 🙂

      I think there are “child-free” forums. I wonder if there are child-free dating sites.


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