No One Wants Your Kid

If you think about it, why would any stranger want your kid?  It is not like stealing a car that can get you to places, assist in a crime, and then you can just ditch it on the side of the road.  Kids don’t do anything except eat, shit and make noise.  They are like heavy dumbbells that can walk and talk.  People like to steal things that have some kind of worth like gold, money, pineapples, clothes.

Police statistics show 25 children of the 46,718 reported missing in 2011 listed as “abducted by stranger.”

However, the definition of stranger for these numbers includes anyone who is not a parent. In other words it could be a relative, a friend of the family, a babysitter or someone unknown to the family or victim.

RCMP’s National Missing Children Services, studied the 90 stranger abduction missing child reports that had been entered into the national police database in 2000 and 2001. They found just two of those children had been abducted by someone other than a relative or a close family friend.

(Canadian Statistics)

That is how delusional our society is with how we view children.  We think of them as precious little diamonds that everyone would want because they shimmer and sparkle.  But the real truth is that no one wants your kid.  You barely want your kid sometimes and most likely they were conceived by accident in the first place which made that orgasm very very expensive.

If you want to keep your kid safe, the better game plan is to keep them away from you because a child is way more likely to suffer abuse or murder from their parents than being abducted or killed by a stranger.   Almost anything is more likely to happen than your kid being abducted by a stranger.  Little Mikey will probably make it home after school unless of course he gets hit by a car.


2 comments on “No One Wants Your Kid

  1. this is incredibly funny and true. I would rather steal a pineapple.

    children might be good to steal in a hostage scenario, but that is about the only reason I can think of


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