If nothing gets you out of bed, starvation will. I could put something healthy inside of me but my starvation level was asking for something high caloric. Hamburger it is. I’m not proud of myself or ashamed. To be honest, paying the $7 for this single burger is what bothers me the most. I’m not going to lie, it was a good burger. Since I am semi-health conscious, I did not order fries or a soda.
If my day could end now, I would be satisfied. Unfortunately, the day has more stamina for life than I do but I still have to carry on. While most people my age are tending to their offspring on a Saturday, I too have responsibilities. I had to take my friends to the recycling depot. Once you suck the life out of them, you trade them in for whatever you can get. In this case, I got back $3.60.
My favourite homeless guy wasn’t outside today so I pocketed the money. Well, not really because I walked out with a new friend for $11.99 (regular $13.99). The clerk ID’d me for my liquor purchase.
“Looking really good for your age.”
“Well, thank you.”
I get ID’d probably 30% of the time. It always feels good when people think you might be 16 years younger than you actually are.
After a session of being highly productive, I came back home to watch Arrow. It’s a good show but not a great show. A good show is entertaining but a great show sucks you in, makes you feel like you’re part of the story and gets you attached to at least one of the characters. Arrow is full of people with great bone structure, good bodies, billionaires and trendy fashion. I couldn’t care less if any of them died from choking on a doughnut.
After a few episodes of Arrow, I started getting hungry again. I laid around thinking about what to eat and searched the internet for possible restaurants to go to. After an hour of contemplation, the lack of excitement for anything outside led me to pull a Cheap Chinaman.
This meal would be cheaper if each egg didn’t cost 60 cents. Organic, cage free, SPCA Certified eggs don’t come by cheap. Rice noodles, so it’s gluten free. No MSG, come to my restaurant, good deal.
The night is still fairly young. I will probably drink it away and watch some more Arrow. Hopefully I don’t drink so much that I pass out without flossing because that would be a real tragic end to the night. I’m a 35 year old who looks like he’s in his 20’s who lives like a 6o year old. My 80 year old grandma probably lived it up more than I did today. She goes down to America quite often for shopping and buffet. I doubt she had SPAM though.
It’s not a big deal really. The only difference between what I did today and what a lot of people my age usually do comes down to being able to align with a belief. There wasn’t any bigger purpose to anything I did today because I’m not delusional enough to rationalize one. Smelling your kid’s butt to see if they shit themselves, going to Costco and pretending to not hate your in-laws at dinner isn’t so great either. They too probably didn’t have any SPAM for dinner. Losers.