Lost Soul

I am almost sure of my convictions but the strength of my conflictions are overpowering.  They say a real man is always sure of himself and is not swayed by the opinions of others.  To be a real man it seems you have to be simple, closed minded or even delusional.

The choices we have in life can be as plentiful as the offerings of a restaurant menu but if you’re lucky the specials are all that you ever want.  Not because they are special but because they are the easier choice.  Give me the set 3 course dinner because it seems to be the best deal.  It’s not the cheapest nor the most expensive but I think I will be able to settle for a compromise between safety and adventure.  No like the set dinner?  Well then, you’ll have to choose from the other 99 options and take a chance.

Don’t make life so hard, they say.  Just do this and it will all work out.  I wish I could get on board and feel a sense of security and direction.  There’s nothing that I want more.  To be lost alone is a much more daunting position to be in than to be lost with others.

A functioning compass was never a tool in my arsenal.  A little knock would send it pointing north when it was really south.  Once you think you are close to home, you still find yourself in the middle of a dark forest.

It’s dark out there but broken compass or not, you still have to keep going.  Hopefully you find your way home.



4 comments on “Lost Soul

  1. george agak says:

    To be lost alone is a much more daunting position to be in than to be lost with others…..loved this article. I now know there are many people journeying the path of self discovery,just like me. we’ll soon be home

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I connect with this so much. It’s a popular belief that deep down we all really know what to do, what is right, the truth, etc. I don’t feel that way at all. I’m always testing my beliefs and the more I find out the more confused and/or disillusioned I become

    Sometimes I tell myself I should I just pick a path and stay with it no matter what but then it just seems so arbitrary. Why one path instead of another? Especially since I can see the negative aspects of all them. I could technically take the best parts of a bunch of paths and make them my own but then the system loses all sense of coherency and hence meaning.

    I envy people who have such a sense of knowing and the “truth.” Even if it’s actually false. I believe it’s a much better way to be (at least for the individual) than to be a lost soul looking for, and never finding, an ultimate truth.


    • MrJohnson says:

      I hear ya. It seems that I’ve only ever narrowed down what I don’t want to do rather than what I do want to do.

      Sounds like you’re not able to trick yourself into believing something for the sake of having a path. I’m that way. I don’t know how some people do it. And yes, I fully agree it’s better to be like those people.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s