10:35 PM..New Year’s Eve

I had thoughts of inducing a chemical high but stuck with just red wine.  The last two New Year’s Eves I fell asleep before midnight.  Tonight, just for kicks, I might just stay up.  On WordPress, I see New Year’s related posts, most of them positive.  What the hell, I’ll try to be positive as well.  If not positive then at least not so negative.

2014 hasn’t been an exciting year just like 2013, 2012 and if my fading memory serves me right, 2011 as well.  These years have been years of mostly isolation.  The saddest part of this isolation is just the stigma that isolation carries with it.  Accepting the aloneness and even embracing it has brought me to new heights of self-awareness.  Prior to lonerism, being around people or wanting to be around people, distracted me from ever looking within.  Looking deep inside is a scary place.  The truth can be like the rust in your pipes and the sludge in your engine…no one wants to see it.

Evolution is a slow process.  Every half year or so I come across a new understanding of life and myself that I was unaware of in the past.  The past was just a series of keeping myself afloat in a world that I built up for myself that was never meant for me.

Quite possibly, the most enriching part of my recent life has been this blog.  I’m not making money from it nor do I have a large following but it has allowed me to see another side of myself that I did not know existed.  Prior to this blog, I never read or wrote much at all.  The blogosphere is an entirely new world to me.  I’m used to being around people with shitty English and even shittier ideas.

So to me, 2014 is another year for myself in a positive direction.  Just because you haven’t come closer to achieving the things in life that you always thought you wanted, it doesn’t mean you’re not progressing to becoming the person you need to be.  You could be coming closer to attaining that Ph.D in a life more aligned for yourself.

Happy 2015 and beyond.  Love you all.

9 comments on “10:35 PM..New Year’s Eve

  1. Happy New Year, fellow loner …

    Like

  2. I’m glad you stuck with just the red wine.
    I’m having a hard time accepting the fact you didn’t read or write much before this blog. Mr. Johnson, you are quite a fine writer; The heights of your self-awareness – enviable. I believe you’re gonna be okay because you still have the benefit of youth.

    Hey, Happy New Year to you!

    Like

    • MrJohnson says:

      “no one wants to SEE it.” I cringe when I see such errors in my posts. I left out the word “see.” I don’t even know how that happens. Obviously my brain isn’t fully connected with my eyes and fingers. 🙂

      I guess I’m glad too it was only red wine. I would have hated to be up all night. Before blogging, I read 6 books in 31 years. Half of them were in high school. I always received poor marks on English writing assignments because I would not stay on topic and break all the other academic writing rules…haha. I guess blogging and I are perfect for each other…do whatever you want.

      I don’t even know what being a good writer even means. I just try my best to be entertaining. Youth is wasted on the young but I still have hope that I will be okay. The probable absolute worst case scenario is that I have to live with some disease, live at my mother’s house, have no money, no human companionship but at least a dog and internet.

      And Happy New Year to you too!

      Like

      • IMO, living with your mom is okay, considering you are still single. If you already had a family of your own and you decided to do move in with her, that’s another story of course. I’m sure your mom would be happy to have you back. Having a dog and internet, that’s certainly not bad. Having no money is always an uncomfortable situation for me because it automatically means the one who supports me will get the upper hand — which means I have to be fine with that.

        You are both an entertaining and a very good writer: Others don’t possess the same keen observation and awareness of the many aspects of life.

        Like

      • MrJohnson says:

        IMO, living with my mom is okay too. It’s okay with many Asians even the ones that are born in a developed western nation. I wouldn’t like being dependent on someone for money either. I guess no one would for the reason you mentioned and a few others.

        And thank you for the compliment. I’ll try harder to believe it myself 🙂

        Like

  3. You Can Only Be You says:

    Fantastic! Happy New Year! I agree with ^her last sentence. Keep it up, always excited for more.

    Like

    • MrJohnson says:

      Thank you! Cool to see you always popping by still. Spain must be pretty rad. You can tell me all about it when you have time. Happy New Year to you too!

      Like

      • You Can Only Be You says:

        Your posts are my medicine. I would not miss one. And yes indeed, Spain was very rad. Radder than rad. It became part of me. I want to return. Which surprises me becuase of how nervous I worked myself up to be beforehand in the five months prior to going over. I will soon, hopefully very soon, be writing a post about the whole grand adventure. But it was the best thing that has happened to me so far. The ups and downs, and all the amazing knowledge, skills and memories I now have for the rest of my life.
        Hope your January is off to great start!

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s