The Peon Corporate World

There’s the corporate world where the bigwigs hangout, shake hands and make the world turn and then there’s the corporate world where I reside where handshakes only happen when you get hired or fired.

In my corporate world, you are surrounded by posters with cheesy slogans with faces of people from different colours.  There will be a white guy, black guy, a female of any colour and some other guy who satisfies the category of a Hispanic, Asian and North American Indian.  “Just find some light brown skinned guy who has black hair.  Make sure his eyes are a little slanty but not that slanty.”

You are forced to go to meetings where someone ‘special’ will be speaking.  It’s usually some white person in a cheap suit talking BS about how important you are to the company.  You can rationalize that your role is important but the fact that you are so replaceable would have to tell you otherwise.  The director of some shitty department cracks corny jokes and everyone laughs.  They brag about 4th quarter profits and everyone claps.  I don’t clap just to show them how much I don’t give a fuck.  But they might just think it’s me being a stereotypical shy emotionless Asian.  I’d have to kick someone in the balls to get any respect around here.

They try to make you feel special by giving you these lame awards now and then.  “Thank you Mr. Johnson for all your hard work.  Here’s a $5 gift card to some shitty place because only a shitty place has anything for under $5.”  I’m not saying I deserve more but $5 doesn’t give you the right to embarrass me in front of all the other peons.  Can’t you just hand it to me privately without the speech, handshake and applause?  What am I, 5 years old?  “Let’s give Mr. Johnson an applause and $5 for not wetting his pants this school year.”

Living in a city with a large population of Asians, you will also come across the Asian trying to climb the corporate ladder.  They will get up in front of a room and do their best white person impression.

“Hey guys, it’s really great to be here.  I’m looking forward to getting to know each and everyone of you.  Thank you for all your hard work and I want to let you know how much we appreciate all of you.  Without you, none of this would be possible.”

The day begins with “how’s it going” and the day ends with “have a good one.”  For some, it goes on for 25 plus years. That doesn’t sound so bad to some people because that means you had work for your whole life.  Why does that notion make me want to kill myself?  I refuse to lock myself into that life.  To be surrounded by all that corporate BS is one thing but to have no choice is something else.  I want the option of being able to tell my boss to “fuck off.”  It sounds immature for a person in his 30’s to have such a mentality but signing your life away to a bunch of people who don’t care about you seems foolish.  They may provide enough security but it’s far from luxury.  If I let an old bald white guy own my life then I haven’t evolved from repressive times.  He can sprinkle all the white sugar he wants on the situation but it would still be glorified slavery.  And no, I don’t hate white people..hahaha

2 comments on “The Peon Corporate World

  1. $5 gift card for not wetting your pants. Thats a damn truth.
    My kid is 27 and really struggling with the same things you are. I guess I hope with every post that you might have an answer for him from your own experience. Being human means playing the games you have to in order to eek out a little cash to get you to the next paycheck. But sometimes when we are talking, he harkens back to something a good friend told him a few years back. A guy in his late 50s He said “Joey, if I could do it all over again, as a young man, I’d get a job long enough to make money to take me to another destination. I’d travel. The U.S., and eventually the world. Staying close to home gives you security. But it won’t give you an accomplished and fulfilling life.” He wants out of the mundane so desperately, but wants the security of family. Can’t say I blame him. So he keeps working and keeps dreaming. I wonder, are the dreams we dreamed for our lives in our youth all but impossible now? I wish I had answers for him. All I have is encouragement for whatever he decides.
    As an aside, I still come here a cpl times a week to see if you have a new post. I do really enjoy the way you see things.


    • MrJohnson says:

      I think everyone sees the $5 gift card as laughable but ‘better than nothing.’ It’s sort of a slap in the face but at the same time employees would also cry if they got nothing. I wish they would start giving days off or at least hours off..haha.

      I love advice from older people and that one from your son’s friend is something to think about for some people. It’s really tough though because the advice you get from people is often biased towards the way their life worked out for them. People who get divorced tell you to stay single, people who were married their whole life tell you to get married and people who were always single tell you to find someone.

      The worst advice is from people who lived an unhappy life and tell you to do what they did, or from people in their 20’s or 30’s who have barely even started living.

      That’s what I sort of did in my 20’s. I would work, save up and take off until I had no more money. I’d come back with no money, no job and still no idea what I wanted to do. I’m 35 in a few days and it feels almost time to quit again but admittedly it’s much harder at this age especially when the money now is better than before. But as that guy said, if I keep doing what I’m doing, it will probably make for a life not very fulfilling.

      Here’s a story. I had a friend who had a grandfather who was waiting for retirement to start living. Did the whole working thing, mortgage, raise kids, etc. Died of cancer like a couple weeks before retirement. On his deathbed he told my friend to not do what he did and go live life instead. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

      So many answers but you never know which one is right for you until the end so I guess the answer is just do what you want..if you know what that is. Or at the very least don’t do what you don’t want to do.

      If one doesn’t plan on having kids then they are free to do whatever. It’s not shameful for me to move home with my mother so the worse that can ever happen is that. I’m sure to some white people that is the equivalent to death..haha. If moving home with my mother wasn’t an option then I don’t know. It’s very possible that I would just plan to be a working stiff forever which sucks in today’s world because it’s not even close to how it was during the 50’s to 80’s. You can’t just work some schmuck job and be able to buy a house and support a family anymore.

      I’m just saving my money and not making any commitments to anything I don’t really want because I’ll be damned if I’m going to sign away my life to a life I don’t want. I’d might as well kill myself..haha. Leaving my job is the easy part..knowing what I want is another story. I guess sooner or later I will have to make a move.

      Always flattering to know people still pop by here. I’m always posting it seems so there’s usually something new. Damn, sorry for the long reply!

      Liked by 1 person

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