There’s the corporate world where the bigwigs hangout, shake hands and make the world turn and then there’s the corporate world where I reside where handshakes only happen when you get hired or fired.
In my corporate world, you are surrounded by posters with cheesy slogans with faces of people from different colours. There will be a white guy, black guy, a female of any colour and some other guy who satisfies the category of a Hispanic, Asian and North American Indian. “Just find some light brown skinned guy who has black hair. Make sure his eyes are a little slanty but not that slanty.”
You are forced to go to meetings where someone ‘special’ will be speaking. It’s usually some white person in a cheap suit talking BS about how important you are to the company. You can rationalize that your role is important but the fact that you are so replaceable would have to tell you otherwise. The director of some shitty department cracks corny jokes and everyone laughs. They brag about 4th quarter profits and everyone claps. I don’t clap just to show them how much I don’t give a fuck. But they might just think it’s me being a stereotypical shy emotionless Asian. I’d have to kick someone in the balls to get any respect around here.
They try to make you feel special by giving you these lame awards now and then. “Thank you Mr. Johnson for all your hard work. Here’s a $5 gift card to some shitty place because only a shitty place has anything for under $5.” I’m not saying I deserve more but $5 doesn’t give you the right to embarrass me in front of all the other peons. Can’t you just hand it to me privately without the speech, handshake and applause? What am I, 5 years old? “Let’s give Mr. Johnson an applause and $5 for not wetting his pants this school year.”
Living in a city with a large population of Asians, you will also come across the Asian trying to climb the corporate ladder. They will get up in front of a room and do their best white person impression.
“Hey guys, it’s really great to be here. I’m looking forward to getting to know each and everyone of you. Thank you for all your hard work and I want to let you know how much we appreciate all of you. Without you, none of this would be possible.”
The day begins with “how’s it going” and the day ends with “have a good one.” For some, it goes on for 25 plus years. That doesn’t sound so bad to some people because that means you had work for your whole life. Why does that notion make me want to kill myself? I refuse to lock myself into that life. To be surrounded by all that corporate BS is one thing but to have no choice is something else. I want the option of being able to tell my boss to “fuck off.” It sounds immature for a person in his 30’s to have such a mentality but signing your life away to a bunch of people who don’t care about you seems foolish. They may provide enough security but it’s far from luxury. If I let an old bald white guy own my life then I haven’t evolved from repressive times. He can sprinkle all the white sugar he wants on the situation but it would still be glorified slavery. And no, I don’t hate white people..hahaha