I had thoughts of inducing a chemical high but stuck with just red wine. The last two New Year’s Eves I fell asleep before midnight. Tonight, just for kicks, I might just stay up. On WordPress, I see New Year’s related posts, most of them positive. What the hell, I’ll try to be positive as well. If not positive then at least not so negative.
2014 hasn’t been an exciting year just like 2013, 2012 and if my fading memory serves me right, 2011 as well. These years have been years of mostly isolation. The saddest part of this isolation is just the stigma that isolation carries with it. Accepting the aloneness and even embracing it has brought me to new heights of self-awareness. Prior to lonerism, being around people or wanting to be around people, distracted me from ever looking within. Looking deep inside is a scary place. The truth can be like the rust in your pipes and the sludge in your engine…no one wants to see it.
Evolution is a slow process. Every half year or so I come across a new understanding of life and myself that I was unaware of in the past. The past was just a series of keeping myself afloat in a world that I built up for myself that was never meant for me.
Quite possibly, the most enriching part of my recent life has been this blog. I’m not making money from it nor do I have a large following but it has allowed me to see another side of myself that I did not know existed. Prior to this blog, I never read or wrote much at all. The blogosphere is an entirely new world to me. I’m used to being around people with shitty English and even shittier ideas.
So to me, 2014 is another year for myself in a positive direction. Just because you haven’t come closer to achieving the things in life that you always thought you wanted, it doesn’t mean you’re not progressing to becoming the person you need to be. You could be coming closer to attaining that Ph.D in a life more aligned for yourself.
Happy 2015 and beyond. Love you all.